In my last post I talked about how it’s not dishonor to change how you deal with a person or change the methods and manner of the way you do things. In new seasons of your life or in the wake of enlightenment about your current ways of doing things or dealing with people, you must make the shift. I know it may seem harsh in the beginning but, more peace is on the other side for you. You must deal with the uncomfortableness of the “new” (feeling guilty, the other person angry or deciding not to speak to you) in the beginning.
But what if YOU are the person who wants to “work on the relationship” and the other person does not? What do you do? If you have “tried” really hard to change or if you know deep down inside you have not truly tried to change. You must first be honest about that. If not, no need to move to the next concept. This is why the other person does not want to deal with you at all or on the same level as they have been. This is your crossroad moment. You can walk away or accept the new terms of your friendship or relationship. Please, do not beg. Please, do not buy them things or give them money to reel them back in. Please, do not pretend like you didn’t hear them and carry on as if nothing has changed. This is YOU once again, being manipulative OR ignoring the issues and your issues. This is you not respecting their decision.
But if you do accept this is what it is and your relationship has changed, then you need to examine yourself, and brace yourself for this; WORK ON YOU. You can take this time to work on you FOR YOU and NOT for them. They may not want to deal with you even if you do change. Keep that in mind and make peace (which will be another challenging process), with the fact that it’s over or it has changed permanently. And yes, I have been the one who destroyed a relationship. I have begged. I have tried to do things to keep them, get back in their good graces or get them back. They were sick of me and they had enough of me! LOL. But, through the school of hardknocks, and through developing a deeper relationship with God and self, reading and therapy, I grew up. I hope you grow from this.
~Nikki
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