Sunday Morning Coffee Musings: BIG August Energy

August brings to the table a 5 energy and a 14 energy. Whether you believe it or not energy exists. You can walk into a room a couple was arguing in and “feel” the tension. Tension, just like happiness, carries energy. You are made up of energy.

If you take heed of last month’s energy, you will be prepared. If not, you will have to get prepared as you go. You will need to ground yourself often this month because there is not much structure to the 5 energy. It likes its freedom. It does not want to be nailed down. It can be unpredictable. So, you may have your own plans and God will have plans. Life will have plans. People that you are working with will have plans. All of these plans will work out but, there will seemingly be so many hiccups big and small. BUT BY ALL MEANS…PLAN!

It will all work out if you remember to ground yourself and breathe. And pray. And meditate. And go for a long walk. Whatever it is you do to HELP you to think of solutions. If you are getting your rest and doing some of these things regularly, you will be able think quickly on your feet. After big episodes or back-to-back episodes of annoyances, TAKE SOME TIME to unplug and enjoy yourself. Go to your hobby. Take a weekend getaway or staycation. This is grounding.

This is a good time for adventure and socializing. Get outside of your comfort zone. Change is good. But make sure it’s CALCULATED. Do something different. Try a different Starbucks refresher. Try a new exercise routine. Change may come quickly and catch you off guard. You will have to adapt.

The five energy is very, very RESOURCEFUL. This will help you as unexpected change comes and plans go awry.

Take a look at your goals from the beginning of the year. Where do you stand? What can you do, what needs to change, and what has to be let go of?

The 5 energy comes with a warning. It can be excessive and addictive. This is why I suggest grounding often. Unplugging often. Getting rest. Making sure you have your plans for the day, week, or for a project mapped out. It’s your guide and remain flexible to the unexpected. You don’t want to drown your sorrows, frustrations, etc. in drugs, alcohol, sex, TV, books, the gym, or get lost in a hobby. You may question some of those things such as books or the gym but too much of anything will keep you from facing your problems, solving them, and moving on even if it seems to have a benefit. I can’t game all day, all week, all month because what about my real-life goals? Balance my loves. Balance.

Plus, this is promotion energy. This relocation energy. This is turn up on your dreams and goals. “The strong will survive and the wise will thrive. Therefore, be strong and wise.”- Nicole Jackson

~Nikki

My Reset Weekend

On my way to the Eiffel Tower in 2019

I’m back from my RESET Weekend and I’ve decided to extend it into this week. Overall, I feel great but I’ve really felt some discouragement due to the disappointment in the lack of participation in an organization I’m a part of. I’m having to channel my inner David and ENCOURAGE MYSELF.

I can do all things through Christ that strengthen me.
All of my help comes from above.

Wait (hold on a minute, rest up, do nothing, be patient) for the Lord to renew your strength (by sending you a Word, giving you deep rest, sending solutions & confirmations).

The JOY (what I know) of the Lord is my strength.

I did some deep cleaning in my kitchen/sitting area and my pantry/laundry room on Saturday. I also took a bath in lavender Epsom salt and Pink Himalayan Salt (1 cup each). It draws out the toxins and helps you to relax and unwind.

~Nikki

Checking Your Own Insecurities (Uppity)

“You think you’re better then everyone else!” They said.

“Why do you say that?” I replied.

“Because you just do!” They said.

“You’re still not telling me HOW I am better than you or WHY you think that?” I replied.

This particular person never gave me a clear answer. But, through revelation via Spirit, I figured it out. However there were some that gave me vague answers as this wasn’t the first time I had heard this. Vague answers like, “You’re too quiet. You don’t do anything “wrong”. You are not like us.” So, because I don’t talk loud or I am mostly quiet by nature, I think I am better than them. Because I don’t smoke cigarettes or weed, I think I am better than them. Because I was raised different, not better, just different, I think I am better than them. Because I enjoy the Bible, the Word of God, spirituality, always trying to do right or good, I think I am better than them. Because I mostly stayed out of trouble, I think I am better than them. Because I got good grades, got a little education, I think I am better than them. And the rediculous list continues.

I believe most people don’t think they are better than you and I do think there are some that do! However, you may want to check your REASONING and RATIONALE and RELATIONSHIP with that person to make sure it’s not YOUR OWN INSECURITIES SHOWING UP. You may be just ASSuming a person thinks they are better than you when in fact they are just DIFFERENT by personality or upbringing and life experiences. They may not enjoy being around drunkeness because they grew up in a home where being drunk brought out the worst in a parent. They don’t think they are better than you. They may not be into drugs because of their religion or they hate smoke because it bothers their allergies or they can’t tolerate the smell. Doesn’t mean they think they are better than you. Perhaps you two took different career paths, they needed a degree or certification to be a nurse or teacher. Doesn’t mean they think they are better than you because you drive a truck and enjoy it.

Question your thoughts. Questions your feelings. In families, you have parents telling children that other relatives think “they are better than us because they have a big house and nice car.” Those children grow up thinking those relatives really think they are better than them and it’s really based on their parents’ insecurities and envy. Yes, you may just be jealous. Some children grow up mad at their cousins or half siblings because they had a better living situation or material things than they did. Imagine, you are an adult and still upset that your half brother grew up in a nice home with two parents when that half brother did’t have anything to do ( I want to say sh– t to do with) with what your parents or their parents did with their lives, careers, and incomes.

I grew up in a neighborhood with blue collar workers and white collar workers. I grew up in a neighborhood where two block away there was low income family homes. When we were children I recognized early on that some people had really nice homes that were bigger and better than mine. I also recognized that some of my friends and family were barely getting by. In some homes, no matter the size, there was love and in some no matter the size, type of car, there were some bad situations. I don’t ever remeber being mistreated by friends that had more and those that had less. We just wanted to play. Spending the night was different at everyone’s house. Sometimes breakfast was made by the parent in the house and other times, my friends or cousins would cook breakfast for us. I just wanted to eat and didn’t care if it was served on fine china or chinette paper plates!

I’m done with explaining to people who are bent on misunderstanding me. I am DIFFERENT. They can deal with it because I already have. I already have accepted the fact that I am not like others. We all are unique and that needs to be recognized and appreciated. I never was really loud or wild but, that doesn’t make me think I am better than anyone. I grew up in a two parent home but, I don’t think I am better than others that didn’t have both parents at home. You don’t know what goes on behind closed doors of the houses you drive by. I am a single parent. Proudly and unaplogetically. So, with that being said, those of us that are different from you, with different experiences, different educational levels, etc. for the most part aren’t walking around with our noses in the air. Get to know someone and appreciate the differences and embrace the commonalities. And question your own thoughts and feelings.

~Nikki

Sunday Morning Coffee Musings: Hello July and June’s Life Lessons for Nikki

It’s JULY and I am not going to say “ALREADY” because I am working on enjoying EACH day and EACH month and not focusing on “time slipping away”. Immerse yourself in the day and month and it won’t seem to be slipping away and moving fast. Just a thought.

So, June was what it was suppose to be for me. The energy it gave was the energy I tapped into and at times wrestled with.

June’s Lessons

  • Don’t let other’s negativity influence you in any way!
  • Get ahold of your finances!
  • God’s perception of me is never clouded even if my perception of myself is clouded and other’s perception of me is clouded
  • When I don’t know how I feel about myself I need to ALIGN with how God sees me.
  • Each moment, good or bad, ugly or beautiful, relationships, friendships, family-ships, have shaped me and given me identity. However, is that my true identity? Ephesians 2:10. It certainly makes me unique as we should be.
  • If I am feeling severe depression, it’s okay to sleep most of the day, watch TV and tell others I don’t feel like talking. Do stay hydrated. Do eat/snack healthily. DO NOT JUDGE MYSELF for having a dark day.
  • Heal and release self sabotaging THOUGHTS so I CAN BE OF SERVICE TO OTHERS!
  • Reach for my higher self. It will not always be easy.

~Nikki

Sunday Morning Coffee Musings: I Think About Giving Up, Sometimes

Today is that sometimes. We all feel like giving up or have felt like giving in the past. If we are honest, there are some things we did give up on and maybe even ourselves from time to time. If you have been following this blog you know I’ve had my issues with the church and religion and at times with God. Let me back up…

It was an extraordinary week as I was in classes in Jackson, Mississippi learning about God’s Pattern for Leadership and Strategic Planning: Analysis, Needs Assessments, Objectives and Goals. I like to learn. I had very little anxiety while I was there. I know it was because I had very little responsibilities. I didn’t have to cook. I didn’t have to clean. I didn’t have to worry much. I returned home Friday and Saturday evening I partied with my friend and her family at a 1990’s themed house party. If I had more photo space, I’d share the jeans I created. I had a ball. I danced all night and today I can barely move. It’s not just age, it’s Rheumatoid Arthritis and Fibromyalgia on top of that.

What I feel like giving up on today is church. It’s funny because I was so sure of my direction all week. Well, not really but, I am sure it involved the church. Make sure you understand I said nothing about giving up on God. I know I am feeling this because of the conversation I had with a particular individual and after finding out they lied and twisted a conversation we had. This person actually is a pastor I know very well.

This thing I am feeling is temporary. I just wanted to acknowledge that I feel like giving up and it’s not an indication that I will. I think it’s important to acknowledge a feeling and to sit with it. To explore it. To receive what it is telling you or teaching you or where it is leading you. I hope you know that it’s okay to FEEL like giving up sometimes and sometimes there are things we should give up but, never give up on yourself.

~Nikki

Excerpts From My Coffee Time /God: Change Your View

How can I do my work without delay or hesitance?

Plan it. Do it. Discipline. Via time with God, I discovered my problem is, my root problem is a lack of confidence that stems from childhood. I was made to feel that nothing I did was good enough or right. None of the choices I made were the best or right per one of my parents. Although I have worked diligently through this there is still residuals of it that seep out in little ways. This is why I always say you will be working on yourself the entire time you are here. How on earth will you find time to fix, correct, and criticize everyone else “if” you are busy working on yourself.

Via God/Spirit: I tell you this; DO IT. Do your work and expect errors. Expect people not to like it or to like you but, you don’t have to be defensive about who and what people like. You don’t like certain people and you don’t like what they are talking about, teaching about, speaking of and the difference is you have learned that you don’t have to voice or write that unless what they are saying is filled with hate. I am not of hate, division, or things of that energy. And even then, you need to know when to speak and when not to.

Via God/Spirit: See mistakes as teachers and tools to help you grow. Ah, you are embarrassed and ashamed when you make mistakes. Yet, you always defend and tell others it’s okay if they make mistakes. You don’t give yourself the same grace and mercy. I know. It was never okay for you to make mistakes. And when you did, boy were you ever ridiculed merciless at times. Give yourself the same grace and mercy you give others. I gave you grace and mercy then, now, and in the future. Release that thinking. Let’s work on that.

~Nikki

Excerpts From My Coffee Time /God: MOVE

Excerpt Day 5

MOVE. Move physically. Move spiritually. Take care of yourself. Eat healthier. Move your body. It helps to move negative and stagnant energy. It helps to move the energy of anxiety and depression. MOVE.

MOVE from thinking like you used to think or the ideals you once had. They aren’t working in this season. Some are no longer working at all.

MOVE away from what you used to do. Things have changed. It seems strange because you are between habits and new mindsets. SHIT has happened and hat the fan so SHIFT can happen. SHIFT has happened for you mentally but, emotionally, you need to catch up.

~Nikki

Excerpts From My Coffee w/God: When, Who, and How

Day 4 Excerpt

God knows WHEN, WHO, and HOW so I don’t have to worry about those things. It’s none of my business. I request. I give thanks when I think about the absence of things so the absence disappears. Therefore, the “thought” of absence disappears. It’s just an illusion anyway. When I think about when, who, how I remind myself that God, Infinite Intelligence, the Creator, the Universe, Yahweh, knows and I can be at peace.

~Nikki

Excerpts from My Coffee w/God: Did I Learn Anything?

You don’t have to choose unhappiness just because you are used to choosing unhappiness or being unhappy. -God

God, life, the universe, or whatever you call Source, is teaching and it’s your choice to learn. I learned after all of these years, this year, I don’t have to make a choice that I know will make me unhappy simply because I am used to unhappiness. What am I talking about? I have not been so lucky in the dating arena (but I have definitely been blessed to have dodged some bullets!) and I only realized this year that some of the choices I made were choices that I KNEW would more than likely lead me to unhappiness but, I made those choices anyway.

You know like ignoring your intuition, your gut, the Holy Spirit, the voice in your head. I had more than enough evidence numerous times giving a person a chance or a second chance or third or…years would only lead to more unhappiness. I made those choices in hopes of a better outcome but, with this last relationship, if you can call it that, I was making it out of the habit of being disappointed.

As I look back, I can see where I made the choice out of hope in some of my past relationships and where I made it SUBCONSCIOUSLY out of unhappiness. Sometimes we have been disappointed, unhappy, or things have been delayed for so long we think we are never going to get them. Therefore, we self-sabotage or set ourselves up for failure unknowingly. I was doing this in various ways. I may have stop allowing certain brazing mistreatment but, I was still going against my gut, allowing mild subpar treatment, dragging things out just because I wanted something to be there, I knew CLEARLY was not there but, fearing I would make the wrong decision.

When I heard that statement, “You don’t have to choose unhappiness just because you are used to choosing unhappiness or being unhappy”, it wasn’t a light bulb moment. It was as if a light from heaven, like the sun was turned on.

~Nikki

Excerpts from my Coffee with God Time: I Don’t Fully Trust God

During my birthday month, March, I was led to spend 15 minutes of silence in the morning for 18 days. I could read or just listen or talk with God. I must say it was challenging the first few days because I didn’t know what exactly I was supposed to be doing or learning. I pray in the mornings when I wake up and give thanks. I now see this was more of a concentrated, intentional, consecrated time alone with God. It was meant to be a practice and habit forming. I poured coffee and sat there. I will share some of what I received.

It was brought to my attention on day 1 that I still have trust issues with God. I woke up that morning and I heard, “God cares about you.” So, I said it to myself, “God cares about me.” Say it 18 times for the next 18 days when you first wake up. This is when I got the rest of the instructions I mentioned above. I had my notebook of wisdom (this is where I jot down inspiration) and I sat in the chair by the window. This is what poured out:

“So many people think I don’t care about them but, I do. They blame me for the things they can’t control, things that happen to them. They blame me for things they can control. They blame me because they don’t understand life. There are ways to understand life that are simple.”

I wrote my response to this:

Sometimes when things happen to me or things don’t go the way I think they should, when I don’t have any help, the first thing that comes to my mind is, “No one cares about me.” I say this when I feel lonely, too. This “no one” includes God. I use to say God doesn’t care about me. I have had the thought that God doesn’t care and No one cares growing up into my young adulthood. I stopped saying that once I developed a relationship with God. However, when I presently think or say, “No one cares about me”, God is secretly included sometimes. As if God doesn’t know when I mean him/her, too. I knew this was why it was being presented to me. Although I don’t say it often, from time to time, I will say or think, NO ONE CARES ABOUT ME.

But how can God love me and not care about me? God is telling me; I believe exactly that and that is contradiction. There’s no conflict in God. There are no conflicting thoughts, feelings, or emotions.

END OF EXCERPT

God cares about me. It really doesn’t matter what happened to me, what is happening, what will happen, God cares about me. It doesn’t matter what’s in my bank account, if my dreams come true, if the love of my life shows up, if I don’t have any help sometimes, God cares about me. Heartaches and heartbreaks, God cares about me. It didn’t go my way or I am in excruciating pain and I have no one to call on, God cares about me. I have gotten through every low moment in my life. God cares about me.

~Nikki