In the MEANTIME of A SET TIME

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There is an appointed time for certain things and no matter how bad you want it to hurry up and arrive, no matter what you try to do to speed up the time, it’s not going to get there any faster. God, the Universe, has a set time for certain manifestations, destinies, freedoms, and victories.

I remember wanting to be free from a certain contract and it took almost a year because the person refused to sign a release form. It was hell waiting it out. Until, I decided it would get here when it got here. I went on doing the best I could to live my life, focus on the good times, and being a mother.

A few days ago I received the exact court date of my hearing for disability. I didn’t know how I felt about it as I was hoping the judge would approve without me going to court. It’s been 2 years and 6 months. The proof is before him. I opted to have a neutral feeling about it until I could process my emotions. I’d already talked to my therapist about my feelings. So, the next day, I decided to claim it as a day of victory and not obsess over it. It’s the set time, an appointed time, that I cannot change. I have to remind myself that I and my legal team have done everything in the natural. It is up to God to do the supernatural at the appointed time.

~Nikki

Sunday Morning Coffee Musing: Patience

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Patience, beloved. Every piece of the puzzle will be put into its place. This is the message that came to me as I dreamed about 1000 and 3000 piece puzzles I saw laying on the table. Before this, I’d visited with our second family in Iowa. We went there to pick up my nephew from college. In the home was a big puzzle laying on a table. I sat down and tried to match pieces and quickly was reminded how tedious this could be.

Well, all week long I’d been anxious, irritable, not feeling my best, and just ready for things to smooth out in my life. It was a Thursday night and I dreamed about puzzles on a table. I heard a voice in the dream saying, “Patience, patience.” As I saw a second puzzles in progress, the words were repeated again. This was a simple message. I want to rush a particular process I am going through. I am ready for it to be over so I can move on with my life. I am ready for it to be over so I can build and have more independence. This part of my life is the biggest stressor!

So, there it was. God, the Divine, sending out a message to my psyche. “Patience, beloved. Every piece of the puzzle will be put in its place.”

~Nikki

Ms. Goody Two Shoes Garnished with a Bit of Rebel

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First and foremost, I had to find a cute pair of shoes for this blog post. Now, onto the message. In elementary, it was the teacher’s pet. Hey, I couldn’t help that I was quiet and could be trusted with a hall pass. In middle school, high school, on the job and sometimes in personal friendships and relationships, I’ve often been tagged as the “Ms. Goody Two Shoes.” I was never comfortable with the label, or insult. I was conflicted. I mean, were we not all suppose to do the right thing? “Hey, stop calling me that! I’m no saint!” Especially, with this temper. Albeit, well controlled…most times.

I wasn’t ready to prove I was no saint. I just knew I didn’t always do the right the thing. But, I also didn’t go out of my way to do the wrong thing and when I took walks on the wild side I was careful not to get caught most times. I don’t know if it was the way I raised or the way I am or both. What makes some “goody two shoes” may be the way they are raised, they may be born with a moral compass, or the rebel in them is the goody two shoes! Could be all three. It takes courage to go against the crowd and the grain, peer pressure, societal pressure, religious rules. Do what I say…why? We are going right…I’m going left. We are wearing this…I am wearing that. Everyone is doing it…great…I don’t want to do it. Believe this…Let me investigate. Think like us…no, I want to use my own brain. Worship like us…I want to worship like me. Follow the rules…I will unless I deem the rules are unfair and constricting my freedom. Everything should match…I don’t like matchy matchy. Honestly, I enjoy breaking fashion rules and decorating rules. I have to admit, being outcasted was not a good feeling, I never really was willing to give up the label to prove I wasn’t. And by this time I was already being called other names for having red hair…so…you know…it was just one more thing to deal with.

Plus, when I did do things, people could hardly believe it and punishment was less. Teachers were like, “Not my Nicole. It’s okay. Probably, those bad kids influencing her.” And when I was late for class in high school, I was let it in and never had to go to the office. One time I got a lick from the assistant principal and the principal called my parents to apologize! Honestly, my locker really was jammed and that is why I was standing in the hallway late for class. Oh and that time we were told we had to clean the cafeteria for being late for school, my reputation with the assistant principal and our good grades saved us from humiliation. Who did it? Just ask me, I was telling it…most of the time, but I could give a good explanation to save us all. Oh…the life…lol.

I happen to think “goody two shoes” are just rebels with causes. They have their own personal reasons for doing what is right or following the rules. I happen to like quiet storms. I am all for a peaceful protest, but I understand if the peaceful are antagonized by the unpeaceful and need to defend themselves. After you turn all four cheeks..that’s about a goody two shoes with a rebel spirit’s limit.

~Nikki

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Knowing Right, Doing Wrong

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Remember, it is sin to know what you ought to do and not do it. -James 4:17

Even if you are not a Christian, and I say this because some can’t respond to truth unless it’s under their faith, you could read this scripture and understand it. Recently, when correcting someone about doing something wrong, I was told by them that they were grown and could do what they wanted to do. I immediately noted the immaturity in this statement because grown as in size and age, is no indication to grown as in maturity. We use all kinds of excuses to continue to do the things we want to do whether it is breaking our own spiritual laws or the laws of the land in which we live. I guess for some it is the only way they can feel powerful, but in reality the need to violate spiritual laws or laws of the land to feel powerful is a sure sign you are not. At the end of the day, per my religion, when we have full knowledge of right and wrong, and do not do what is right…it is a sin.

~Nikki

Sunday Morning Coffee Musings: Human Mother to Robin Mother: Nature vs Nature

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This week I battled a robin that wanted to build her nest on the rafters of my carport. When I first saw the formation of the nest, I knew it had to come down before it was complete. So, the maintenance guy got it down. The reason that it could not be built there is because if the bird lays eggs it’s illegal to remove the nest and if it builds it where I park my car my daughter and I would be in danger of an attack from a bird protecting her young. And I guess you can say, I was protecting my young as well. It was sort of a woman to bird, mother to mother, type of situation.

Within an hour she was back building again. I was back to stop her. This went on for hours. The night came and when I woke up the next morning…she had started again. We went at it for about an hour and a half. I realized as my arms begin to hurt and my shoulder swelled, I couldn’t keep doing this but, I couldn’t let her build there. Also, the stress elevated my blood pressure. At physical therapy, the PT said “Hey I had that happen to me. I read up on it just like you and I put a plastic owl where the bird wanted to build and it never came back.” So, I thought about the creepy owl I bought for winter decor and when I got home I put it in the rafters. Since Friday, I have not seen the bird. I pray she has found somewhere to build and lay her eggs. I am assured by the wisdom of Matthew in the Bible: Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them…”

When it comes to problems in our lives, whether it be an illness that turns your life upside down or financial choices, a work situation or a life situation, somewhere in the daunting task of persistence there is a solution. There is a happy medium. There is a method to the madness. And as I trudge through one of the most difficult times of my life, if God takes care of the birds of the air, feeds them and clothes the flowers of the field…how much more will he take care of us? Our angels sends advice, we look up a solution, we try different things, we realize what is not working and soon the solution surfaces. The outcome may not always be what we want at the time, a temporary solution until the a permanent one arises.

~Nikki

 

 

 

 

Peace and Plenty Notes 1

 

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As you may or may not know, the journey I am taking this year is a journey of liberation. The actions I am taken at the age of 42 are legendary. I have linked this with an angel number and the legendary Jackie Robinson. Well, on this journey I have books to help me and one of those books is Peace and Plenty: Finding Your Path to Financial Serenity by Sarah Ban Breathnach. I want to share some of the journey with you in hopes it will help you along the way, too.

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~Nikki