Letting Others Choose What Makes Them Happy, Even if it Makes You Less Than Enthused

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I do believe in doing what makes you happy and there are times that what makes you happy will not make others happy and well, vice versa. You have to remember this when people choose to do what makes them happy! It may be our children, a relative, a parent, a sibling, or a close friend. Even if we know, the outcome may not be good for them. We don’t have to accept it or we can accept it. Either way, we should respect it.

We cannot control others lives even if their lives are stressing the hell out of us. As a matter of fact, we have to learn not to let their lives stress the hell out of us! It’s not my job to choose a person’s path to learn lessons in this life and it’s not their job to choose my path on how I learn in this life. We may be allowed to provide light and water, fertilize, but we do not choose how they will grow, when or if at all! As I get older, I start to focus more on doing what makes me happy, lining up what makes me happy within my faith’s standards and understanding that God gives us all some lead way based on our own personalities and desires. Making doughnuts may make you happy. Teaching a women’s bible study may bring you great happiness. Having a wine tasting party may make you happy. Witnessing to others, going to a prison ministry, etc. may make you happy. Traveling the world may make you happy. Choosing the one YOU love and adore may make you happy. It is your choice and your consequences. It is not mines. Have no need to make others enjoy your happiness.

You argue it’s a sin! They are wrong! They are headed down the wrong path! Speak your peace when you need to in an effort to guide others, not to control others. Try to reach them yes…control them no. Quote your scripture to guide others, not to control others and then be at peace! I know it’s not that simple…but it can be.

NOTE: We are not talking about evil and maliciousness. We are talking life choices. Although, so do choose a path leading to death, unhappiness, and prison. Even in those people’s lives, I believe someone tried to reach them, guide them, shed light and water their souls. I hope.

~Nikki

In the MEANTIME of A SET TIME

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There is an appointed time for certain things and no matter how bad you want it to hurry up and arrive, no matter what you try to do to speed up the time, it’s not going to get there any faster. God, the Universe, has a set time for certain manifestations, destinies, freedoms, and victories.

I remember wanting to be free from a certain contract and it took almost a year because the person refused to sign a release form. It was hell waiting it out. Until, I decided it would get here when it got here. I went on doing the best I could to live my life, focus on the good times, and being a mother.

A few days ago I received the exact court date of my hearing for disability. I didn’t know how I felt about it as I was hoping the judge would approve without me going to court. It’s been 2 years and 6 months. The proof is before him. I opted to have a neutral feeling about it until I could process my emotions. I’d already talked to my therapist about my feelings. So, the next day, I decided to claim it as a day of victory and not obsess over it. It’s the set time, an appointed time, that I cannot change. I have to remind myself that I and my legal team have done everything in the natural. It is up to God to do the supernatural at the appointed time.

~Nikki

Sunday Morning Coffee Musing: Patience

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Patience, beloved. Every piece of the puzzle will be put into its place. This is the message that came to me as I dreamed about 1000 and 3000 piece puzzles I saw laying on the table. Before this, I’d visited with our second family in Iowa. We went there to pick up my nephew from college. In the home was a big puzzle laying on a table. I sat down and tried to match pieces and quickly was reminded how tedious this could be.

Well, all week long I’d been anxious, irritable, not feeling my best, and just ready for things to smooth out in my life. It was a Thursday night and I dreamed about puzzles on a table. I heard a voice in the dream saying, “Patience, patience.” As I saw a second puzzles in progress, the words were repeated again. This was a simple message. I want to rush a particular process I am going through. I am ready for it to be over so I can move on with my life. I am ready for it to be over so I can build and have more independence. This part of my life is the biggest stressor!

So, there it was. God, the Divine, sending out a message to my psyche. “Patience, beloved. Every piece of the puzzle will be put in its place.”

~Nikki

The Shrug to a Culture of Violence

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Violence has always been here and it’s not going anywhere. Therefore…oh well. Let’s not do anything to try to curb it. Stop it. Prevent it. Since you can’t stop it ALL let’s not worry about the increasing culture of violence. Since it’s not happening in my neighborhood or city or country…not my problem. “I am not one of the violent ones. I was raised better. I would never do a thing like that.”

Some are neutral because they don’t care. Some are neutral because it hasn’t hit home and I hope it never does for them. Some are neutral because they have become callous to violence being blasted on the news or in the neighborhood.

It you could stop 10 out of 100 crimes it’s better than 0 of 100. If you can change the chances of something happening then that is better than doing nothing. Rarely are laws and solutions 100 proof, but that does not mean we don’t need them nor search for solutions or improvements. Locks on doors don’t stop thieves, yet we still prefer them. I say do all you can on every level. Even the small things matter.

 

~Nikki

Sunday Morning Coffee Musing: Jesus Walks

 

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Looking through the lenses of a pastor’s child, you see the ends and outs of ministry. As a child I remember going, sometimes being dragged here, there and everywhere with my parents and the church. It was like a vagabond experience when I was young, you know, wherever I laid my head on a pew was my pillow for that service! We were visiting different churches, he was doing revivals, in and out of town, there were evening programs, there were conventions and congresses to attend. I remember it and I grew to understand it. I grew to respect it. I grew to enjoy many of these things as I started to participate and comprehend these things.

As I see some in ministry, even the ministry of helps, running themselves raggedy in the name of Jesus, I see worn out human beings running on Jesus Juice and Holy Ghost Caffeine. Some are stretched and stressed. Some are broken. Some can’t be still because to be still means you are not doing anything and well, that’s sort of kind of the point. Some, when they are still, there is no “peace” in their peace be still.  Their minds are like a broken wind up toy…still going. And some can’t be still because they are trying to prove themselves worthy and move on up the ladder of ministry. They can’t say no to “whatever” others in ministry ask them to do and they certainly can’t say no their leaders, because well, they may lose their position or it’s like saying no to God himself! (dangerous territory). Oh the guilt and shame of being…tired. The shame of growing old and saying: “Here, let someone younger take the wheel” before the wheels fall off. The reluctance of some leaders to designate roles to their disciples. I don’t think Jesus set the table, prepared the food, washed dishes, made the campfire, pitched the tent, etc. just because he could if he wanted to. I mean what was the point of having a crew if you were going to do all the work. And could you imagine one of them telling Jesus “I have been cooking every night. I am tired. Get Peter to do it.” No, you can’t. I can. It probably would have been me. I don’t think I would have been fired either. I think Jesus would have understood.

Side note: I think Jesus was the kind of leader that could read his disciples. I think a good leader would never abuse the willingness of his staff to serve.

Jesus walks. His steps were ordered. I don’t read of him frantic about everywhere he went. It’s almost as if his directions were calculated, orchestrated, and obligated. I do believe he also had some leadway as to where he went and wanted to go. Why? Because I don’t believe God is into micromanaging us.  And even in all of that, he rested and went on a sabbatical. He went to sleep on a ship. We think he stayed up the entire time he was here on the planet. We think he did those things we read back to back to back to back…one chapter after the other.  There was time and space in between those things.

Jesus walks.

~Nikki

Sunday Morning Coffee Musing: Building Inner Strength

What good is learning a lesson from life and you decide not to apply it to your life? Well, that’s like knowing touching a hot stove will burn your hand and the opportunity presents itself the next morning when you turn on the stove to place your hand on it. It’s not wisdom. What you have is knowledge and how you convert knowledge to wisdom is by applying it to your life. On the outside many are strong by appearance, but when the shades go down in their home, they are weak on the inside. A person with great physical strength, muscles, and who is lean, looks like they take care of there body, but if they are hitting the gym and then hitting the bottle or fast food joints well the inside is still weak. It’s funny how the mind can be strong enough to subject itself to physical strength and not enough for the person to eat well. Actually, it’s just an area they are weak in and it needs to be strengthen by right action, choices,  and discipline. The mind will do what your spirit tells it to do, if YOU decide to do it. It’s true the spirit is willing, but the flesh, not so much. -The Bible.

If you are going to build your inner strength it is going to take discipline. It’s going to take depositing spiritual things into your spirit and applying them to life. It takes thinking back onto what happened the last time you did that, said that, and how it affected you and others. It takes caring about the outcome of your actions. You’re going to have to go through training. Don’t you worry, life has been training you all along by presenting the same obstacle courses over and over. You don’t necessary receive a grade if you fail, you receive the consequences and the opportunity to try it again or improve. Even if you pass, you may encounter the same situations again. This perfects and matures you spiritually.

So, if you want to build inner strength take heed to the lessons life has/is teaching you. Let wisdom manifest in your life by applying what you know. If you don’t know, there are so many avenues available to learning. Do you want to learn? Someone has written a book about it. Someone is teaching and preaching about it. Someone is having a seminar or lecturing about it. Eat up, digest, manifest. Practice the art of no and yes. No to what you don’t want and yes to what is right for you.

~Nikki

“You convert knowledge to wisdom by applying what you know to your life and life situations.” -Nicole Jackson