Thinking Bigger

47321009_10158026927088266_8077667507529318400_n

I’ve been thinking bigger. I am just as great as Oprah, Tyler, James Patterson, Stephen King, Ferragamo, Louis Vuitton, Jay Renee etc. I see their methods. They have laid out their blueprints. And you know what, it’s all about determination, belief in your self, shutting out the critics, focus, never giving up (faith), drive, being prepared for the opportunities, going against the grain, walking away when it wasn’t right for them, taking risks and learning from it all. I love to hear Stephen King on interviews about his writing and career. He gives inspiring advice and so does James Patterson. Yes, I know sometimes as an AA it’s harder for us. Some people can get a deal on mediocre content based on their skin color and who they know (But I know somebody, too! ). But that doesn’t stop my flow or kill my vibe. It doesn’t put my fire out. Some want to help, some want to hinder, all I need is discernment and to trust my gut. This year, I am going to give it all I got and let my Creator and Angels do the rest. I’m going to push the envelope pertaining to my beliefs. #44Presidential

Advertisements

7 Things from My 43 Journey

Nature_Forest_Path_in_the_green_forest_035974_

Its my birthday eve, and I want to leave you with seven things from my 43: The It Is Well Within Tour.

  1. You don’t have to allow craziness, madness, chaos, because the person is your parent or relative. Set boundaries. Yes, set boundaries for your family.
  2. Remove yourself, Let me help you remove yourself, I will remove myself to maintain peace within.
  3. I realized I would never have the relationship I desired to have with a “relative”. I was both sad and relieved. I could stop trying and start figuring out how to best deal with them.
  4. It’s not me, it’s you. You’re fake and I don’t do fake. I also don’t entertain liars and cheaters. They are not good for my heart or health.
  5. Cry. Pray. Meditate. Laugh. Repeat.
  6. I am expanding my circle to those that vibe well with me and I with them instead of making it smaller because of the negativity I’ve experienced in the past.
  7. Keeping my within helps me to control my without.

~Nikki

Both Sides of The Game

IMG_20190227_083811_083-1

There are two sides to every story and sometimes three. Here we have a person struggling to be themselves out of worry if they will be liked or accepted. They wonder if they will lose friends, family, and associates. It’s a risk. It was and is a necessary risk for me. I’d rather be free and happy, but note, it was a process. And still is.

Then we have this other side of the coin or game. The ones that say they love being themselves, have always been comfortable in being themselves, yet they have issues with others being themselves. And I am talking about us being our authentic selves! Not some knock off version or shaped by misery selves. If this is you what’s your problem? Do you want to be yourself? Do you enjoy being yourself? Then why are you so concerned when others that are happy being themselves doesn’t match your way of being yourself? I think it’s ego. I think there is a part of you that is not truly comfortable being you. I think there is a part of them that makes you uncomfortable. Yes? All of these things or one of these things. Maybe even none of these things. It’s up to you to ponder.

As long as others being themselves are not causing harm, hatred, and division then we really need to think about why it bothers us so much and communicate that to ourselves. There are some ways people in my life have of being themselves I question and I know it’s filtered through their experiences and obvious misery. I don’t have to get use to it or like it. It depends on our relationship how to handle it. I can remove myself, put distance in between us, or limit interactions. However, if you think wearing purple hair is okay and I don’t, then I figure that is YOU being YOU. If you are driven and I am laid back, I have no need to make you laid back because I am and you should have no need to make me driven so that it makes you more comfortable with “my” journey.

~Nikki

Sunday Morning Coffee Musing: Hope for Tomorrow

IMG_20190130_082741_423

Today I had to speak at church. Some would call it preaching, but I call it teaching. I talked about Hope for Tomorrow. Romans 12:12, Romans 8:24-25. What is hope? Hope is a joyful or confident expectation for the future or the promises of God, or both however you chose to look at it or need it. Hope is a joyful or confident expectation for the unknown and the unseen. Who hopes for what he or she can see? We hope for what we cannot see and we wait for it patiently. In other words, you don’t hope for what you already have or what is already worked out. You hope for that which you do not have yet to manifest or be worked out.

Hope is a virtue, a good quality for the Christian life experience and in my own opinion, hope is a virtue we all should obtain. Hope makes waiting or walking in faith easier. When you have hope, you have joy or you have confidence that things are working out for your good. You don’t know how, you can’t see how, but you have this expectation that it will.

Without hope, we become bitter, sad, depressed, anxious, fretful, and perhaps angry. Without hope, you become desperate and take desperate actions. Many times these actions lead to making things worse than what they were. Without hope, a joyful expectation or confidence in the future or promises of God, people contemplate suicide or commit it. Without hope that you’ll be okay if the person leaves you, you do foolish things to get them to stay or even worse.

We need hope. Hope helps us to hold on while we patiently wait for the outcome. Hope, a joyful expectation, puts a pep in our step as we walk out our faith. Hope, a confident expectation in the promises of God to you, helps you to hold on until you see the life you desire to live unfold. Yes, we need hope for tomorrow. We need hope, for tomorrow in this world. The audacity, or the boldness of hope. Hope gives us boldness in the times of trouble. The nerve, the boldness to believe in our darkest hours that light will surely shine again happens when we turn on our hope. In the world we live in, particularly and personally me for, in the these troubling political times, I have HOPE that things will make a complete 180 and put us back on track to be greater human beings which will make a greater America and a greater world to live in for all people.

~Nikki

Getting Away From It All

 

e4697089389c9b3ec37ed210c1ccef39

Happy Saturday! What are you doing with your weekend? If you don’t have to work and even you do, what will you do with the days you consider your weekend? I don’t know about you, but I’ve had some very trying weeks. It has been very physical and very tiring. However, enlightening. I have been longing to escape it all. I just want to get away! Preferably,  near the beach. But I will take anything that changes my scenery for now.

I am thinking and planning a few vacations. I think we are going back to Orange Beach, which I loved so much being there on the beach. The biggest vacation, and most expensive, is taking my daughter to Paris. It is a dream of hers and she is graduating from high school. The planning has been in the making for years. It is budgeted out as well. I want to do it now because I don’t know how long I will be able to travel far on long flights. Long flights and trips really do me in because of Rheumatoid and Fibromyalgia. But this will be a great and willing sacrifice of the body. However, I always have hope that things will get better physically and financially.

So, with that said, I don’t know if there is room in the budget for much more this year as far as vacations or get-a-ways. If so, they will be something near by. I am trying to pay off debt, get my credit score in good standing, which I paid off several big debts last year, and look for a home. I also have dreams that need funding.

~Nikki

 

Friday Jr and The WKND Weekend

 

20190207_183904

Well, I had such a busy weekend I am just now getting a chance to sit down and blog about it. It was Thursday, also known to many as Friday Jr. (smile), that I got up the nerve to show up at a Memphis Bloggers Exchange Happy Hour. It was sponsored by the Nashville Bloggers Exchange. The place we met up at is new to Memphis. It’s NOT a club, but a place where you come to hang out, have great drinks, great conversations, good food, relax and unwind with friends or you can fly solo. Service was top notch from our entrance to our exit.

First, let me tell you when I walked I was nervous. Why? Well, if you have followed my blog for a while you know I have been through a rough few years. I was worried about meeting new people. Something that use to not bother me as much before Rheumatoid Arthritis came out of remission and brought fibromyalgia, osteoarthritis, and diabetes with it. Long story short, it changed the game as far as friendships, my social life, and the how I deal with people all together. Well, after walking into therapy with anxiety on level 8, giving myself all the reasons I should not go, I left with anxiety on 2 and all of the reasons I should go. I am so glad I did! I made so many great connections and diversified connections at that. These are just a few of the bloggers, writers, vloggers and photographers that were at the event. These wonderful group of ladies and more are right here in my city and now we are connected via social media.

We were invited to not only meet up, but to take photos, blog about our experience at this new hot spot in our city. We were able to try their entire menu! And everything was delicious! The cocktails were worth the money and I say that because if you are going to pay $10-$15 or more for a cocktail, you want your money’s worth. Tiger’s Blood Cocktail is what you see pictured above. I liked it so much I had two!

We were able to explore the venue and take pictures. You can reserve the booths we are in and they have several packages to chose from. They are also now serving brunch on Sundays! I love a good brunch! The patio was my favorite. It was very chilly that night, but the fire kept us warm as many of took advantage of photo ops. We were snapping it up and especially with a photographer on hand we got some great shots of our selves!

This was definitely a busy evening. I left there and drove across town to meet another group of ladies and we had karaoke, food, and wine. You know that had to be filled with laughter and great meet and greet. It was all positive vibes.

As the weekend rolled around, Friday I was invited to a movie. Saturday I purchased a small bookshelf from Facebook Market. I drove downtown to get it. I stopped by the Mississippi River to finish up my coffee from Starbucks and then off to ACE Hardware for paint. This was going to be an easy, less than 30 minute project.

IMG_20190209_135733_917

I painted the faux cherry wood bookshelf a dark espresso color that matches my new furniture in my room. It was the perfect size.

IMG_20190209_223701_117

And for the finale, Saturday night was epic and crazy fun. I went to a tribute for Bob Marley performed by some amazing reggae, funk, soul bands from my city, Memphis. It was a friend’s birthday week and I invited her to get out and enjoy herself. We met up with two others and it was so much fun. Too much fun lol! We ended up at iHop and I haven’t been there in about 15 years. I made it home safely and Sunday I slept in. I was home all day recovering from a very long week as I was at the hospital every morning with my dad and then coming home to do my own personal business and parent. Add the weekend to that and you have a run down chic! I was feeling the pre-pain before the big earthquake that landed Monday evening. Serious pain and mental drain. I have a heel spur I think from walking the long walk daily last week to and from my dad’s hospital room and serious back and hip pain radiating to the thigh. I know for sure my back and shoulder is a fibromyalgia flare. Nevertheless, I wouldn’t trade that wild and crazy weekend for anything and it brings me great joy to be there in the mornings for my dad to help or keep him company until he can home.

~Nikki

Sunday Morning Coffee Musing: Physical Limitations, Anxiety, & Will They Understand?

img_20190120_105800_892

“Nicole, you need to get out. You need to get with people that like to do the things you like to do. You need to go places you like to go and maybe you will meet people that like to do the things you do.” -Therapist

“Sounds like a plan. I am on it.”- Me

And as I began to search for a group, so began the anxiety. “Nicole, you never come around. Nicole, you hardly ever show up. Nicole, why can’t you go here, there, and everywhere. Nicole, I am tired, too. Nicole, I have done 20 things this week and you have only done 5 and you are exhausted? Why don’t you try ginseng, turmeric, more exercise, go gluten free, try the Keto diet, the Mediterranean diet.” Oh-My-Gosh would you please leave me alone is what I think, but I just nod my head. After all, you are just trying to help I suppose.

I joined a few groups and I started a group in spite of these concerns. I don’t know how it’s going to pan out. I don’t know if they will be like most people and “just don’t get it” or if finally, someone will get it. Either way, I will still be who I am with what I have and on a continuous path to growth. Hopefully, I can make some new friends along the way that enjoy the things I enjoy, too.

~Nikki