Sunday Morning Coffee Musings: The Late, Late, Late Edition

It’s the late, late, late edition! I took the week off because it was one of the most activity/ to-do lists, filled weeks of this month. I made time each evening for myself as one thing that was non-negotiable on the list. I made an exception only if I felt up to staying up late to work one night and I did because I had so much energy (which rarely happens) to burn.

I spoke at my home church this Sunday and the message was STRENGTHEN WHAT REMAINS (Revelations 3:1-2). I will post some keynotes Wednesday and Thursday. The only thing I mused about Sunday was how to make September a month in which I can replenish my spirit, body, and soul. I am not rushing this month away but, I am ready to do much less. I am over Women’s Month at church this month and I know, in my spirit, I should have said no!

Why? Because you can’t keep rescuing people or they will never learn to help themselves. I regretted the moment I said yes. I knew I was out of order. I started to dread the whole thing. I felt a low mood and anxious mood creeping in. I felt overwhelm-ness coming in like a dark cloud. I thought, “I’m just going to do the bare minimum. I’m going to keep it simple. I just want to get it over with.” But God was like, “You can’t do that. You have to give it your very best. You have to work as if you are working for me because you are. Although, you are out of line.” So, I asked God to help me, to give me strength. I also asked for and received forgiveness.

Later, I asked myself what could I do not to become overwhelmed and stressed this month. I knew the “energies” of the month. I wrote this down:

  • Go to be on time
  • Shower and soak as often as you need to
  • Take a sedative if you need to
  • No food after 8:30 pm
  • Limit your social media using the well-being app and no social media after 9pm
  • Enforce boundaries with everyone
  • Come to a stop with your work and wind down
  • Throw in some fun even if it’s limited

Women’s Month went from basic to me doing it the way I tend to do things I’m over and that is with excellence. Not perfection, although I can be a bit of a perfectionist, but excellence. Well, at least I will try! So far, things have worked out.

On the 1st Sunday we had a guest speaker.

2nd Sunday we had a tribute to strong women from the history of the church

On the 3rd Sunday we will have a skit on mental health and therapist to speak on mental health and the black community

4th Sunday we will have female Saxophonist to bless us with song

Dressed in Strength is the theme from Proverbs 31:16-17.

I have blabbed enough tonight. I hope you rest well or enjoy your day depending on when you are reading this!

~Nikki

Affirmations for Courage to Heal Trauma

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I am couragious

I call forth my strength

I am ready

I move forward in faith

I trust my Higher Power

I trust myself

I believe in my ability to heal

I make choices that represent my healing

I breathe

I speak positive things about myself to myself

I feed my mind healthy information

I cry when I feel the need to because crying helps me to release toxins in my body from negativity

Crying has nothing to with strength

I am okay

I take time to take care of myself during this process of healing

I seek professional help if necessary

I seek books that help my healing

I listen to those who can help my healing

I am patient with myself on this journey

I show compassion towards myself on this journey

I forgive myself

I am forgiven

I am deeply loved by the Creator

God cares about me and is here to help me heal

~Nikki

28 Days of The Self Love Project: Day 28 Knock, Knock Housekeeping!

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Protect your peace.

Erase (get rid of) toxicity.

Cleanse your space.

Cultivate love.

Protecting your peace helps to maintain self-love. You want to keep a peaceful environment as much as you can wherever you are. Yes, at home and at work. You want peaceful relationships as much as possible. Having peace in your life helps maintain self-love.

Get rid of anything and one that is toxic. I know the word is overused these days but, if it’s not good for you and to you, you don’t need it. This could be hoarding in your home. This could be a bad habit. This could the obvious, such as friendships and family-ships. Can you get rid of family? Probably not. But you can keep your distance and set those boundaries we talked about.

Cleanse your space. Clean up. Clean up your space at home and your office or desk space.

Cultivate love wherever you are. Cultivate a loving environment at home. Take love with you to work and to the grocery store. Be compassionate and kind to those you come into contact with. Be patient.

1 Corinthians 13:4–8a (ESV) Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.

~Nikki

28 Days of The Self Love Project: Day 27 Experience, Teacher of The Year

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In order to love who you are, you cannot hate the experiences that shaped you. -Andrea Dykstra

~Nikki

28 Days of The Self Love Project: Day 26 You Have Power

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Beauty begins the moment you decide to be yourself. -Coco Chanel

~Nikki

28 Days of The Self Love Project: Day 25 Save Yourself

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You need your own love to save your heart. -Rithvik Singh

You know that feeling you have when you are in love? That is the kind of love you need for yourself. That’s it. That’s the blog post.

~Nikki

28 Days of The Self Love Project: Day 24 Perfection is NOT The Goal

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You were born to be real, not to be perfect. -Unknown

The process of deepening the roots of self-love will not require you to be perfect. It will require you to be real. As the quote expresses, you were born to be real. Real means you are just as human as you are divine. In your human form you will always make mistakes. We have discussed forgiving yourself on this self-love journey. You’re going to need to do that often because there will be trial and error. Sometimes you will come out on top and sometimes you will not but, each time you will learn and grow. To learn and to grow is the VICTORY!

So, remember, you are real. Not perfect. No pressure.

~Nikki

28 Days of The Self Love Project: Day 23 Talk to Yourself

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Don’t forget to tell yourself positive things daily! You must love yourself internally to glow externally. -Hannah Bronfman

When you are feeling good about you, you glow. You glow from the inside out. We’ve talked about HOW you SPEAK to yourself. You must be mindful of self-talk and the stories you tell yourself about you. Some of the language you use comes from hurtful periods in your life. They came from home, work, relationships of all kinds, and even teachers. Even if something was said to you about you that is true and negative, you have the power to change. You have the power to transmute darkness into light!

One way to tell if something is done is to check the internal temperature. If you want that natural, authentic glow, it starts from within. Love yourself from within. Start with what you deposit into your heart, mind, and soul daily. Your positive words, yourself talk, are your cash deposit. You get out what you put in. You create an environment of manifestation good or not good. Replace the negative, the false narrative with positivity and the truth. Affirmations made daily paired with actions create a loving atmosphere for yourself. I post quotes or affirmations, any information relative to my journey on my mirror. They change with my journey.

I know you are ready for that authentic GLOW UP. Once you start really loving yourself from the inside out, it’s inevitable.

~Nikki

28 Days of The Self Love Project: Day 22 Each One, Teach One

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How you love yourself is how you teach others to love you. -Rupi Kaur

So, how have others been loving you? It can be a scary thing to think about if the love you have received hasn’t been a true reflection of love. We are talking from the young adult perspective to the mature adult perspective. When you are a child, of course you are not responsible for how love came across to you from your family. But, from young adulthood on out, you teach others how to love you.

How others love you is a reflection of how you love yourself. What you allow others to do, get away with, tells you how you feel about yourself. When you love yourself, beyond outward rewards and self-care practices, you will not allow others to mistreat you. You will not allow others to misuse you. Yes. It happens sometimes. It happens along the journey but, remember all you have to do is to remind yourself of your power and the love you have for yourself.

I practiced telling myself, “I love me, more than I love you.” It took me awhile to believe it and it has gotten me out of some bad relationships and has helped when it came to friendships and family-ships. Yes, I made up that word. It has helped me to draw the line. It has helped me establish boundaries. I wouldn’t treat you like “that” or myself. Therefore, I cannot and will not allow you to treat me like “that”. It has helped me to grow roots to deepen my love for myself. It is very grounding. It is very centering. It helps me to get back on track. It is especially helpful in romantic relationships because it helps you not to lose yourself. It helps you to establish and maintain boundaries. In the beginning, it helped me to learn what was not good for me.

HOW do you love yourself? Really think about the ways in which you speak to yourself. The things you do to yourself. How you feed yourself. How you push away your dreams and goals. How you feel about yourself and your looks. If you don’t feel good about you, it radiates. If you feel good about you, it radiates.

Teach people how to love you by first teaching yourself how to love you!

~Nikki

28 Days of The Self Love Project: Day 21 Reading Rainbows

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Another thing that can help the heart space is READING a self-help book about what is creating the imbalance or negative emotions in your heart. Somebody out there has gone through what you have been through and survived. They not only survived, they healed, and they thrive. Reading to HELP yourself heal is a way to DEEPEN the self-love you have for yourself because it is a healing the wounds in which love is leaking from.

Is it childhood trauma? There is a book for that.

Is it the divorce you never got over? There is a book for that.

Amazon has a search bar and you can type in exactly what you are looking for.

I love going to Barnes and Noble and you can go to the Self Help section. You can let a book pull you in. Ok, you can be “guided” to a particular book. Ingesting what you are reading gets into your mind, your spirit, your soul and begins to help heal those wounds. I have so many books that have impacted and changed my life for the better. I encourage you, as a way to DEEPEN THE ROOTS OF SELF LOVE, to READ your way to heal the heart.

Some books that helped me in my journey:

One Day My Soul Just Opened Up-Iyanla Vanzant

Something More: Excavating Your Authentic Self -Sarah Ban Breathnach

The Power-Rhonda Byrne

Inspiration- Dr. Wayne Dyer

Just to name a few but, everyone’s journey and needs are different! You have to be willing to be a participant in your own healing. You must be willing to do some searching.

Seek and you will find!

~Nikki