A Peaceful Saturday: Do Not Disturb


It’s a chilly Saturday morning here in Memphis. Most of the snow has melted and patches of ice are still hanging on for dear life. It’s partly cloudy and my daughter is at her dad’s for the weekend. It’s a quiet morning for the most part and I don’t want to be troubled about anyone’s troubles today. I have had a very long and painful week that started last Sunday. I had oral surgery Monday. Tuesday the neighbors pipes busted…and wait…I don’t want to go on about this week. However, I did just get off the the phone with a person, whom name is being withheld to protect the guilty, on how they have these mountains of a problems today (two), which has greatly (not even barely) inconvenienced them. I just held the phone. Solved one of their “problems” by asking a simple question and listen to them solve the other. You know, before coffee I just don’t want an earful of woes.

At some point of a roller coaster week you have to get off. You have to carve out not just a moment, a minute, but an entire day. 24 hours of leave me alone. 24 hours of this is how the day will go. 24 hours of I can’t help you. 24 hours of I am closed. 24 hours of, sorry, that’s going to rush me, put me in a bind, throw my entire day off. 24 hours of I see your text, message, but I am not answering. I don’t want to think. I want to be quiet. I want to clean. I want to create. I want to eat good food. I want to binge watch. I want to listen to good music. A Do Not Disturb: It’s My Saturday.


Growing Up Grown Ups: Give up the Ghosts


I don’t know about other cultures or races or environments…or religions for that matter, but what baffles me are adults who are adults according to age but, not according maturity. By observations, we seem to be hurt children trapped in adult bodies. I often hear things in my community like “I’m a grown ass woman” or “I am a grown ass man.” But, what does it mean to be a grown ass woman or man and do grown ups have to make such statements? I’ve seen us ready to fight each other over nothing in the community, at family functions, and even at church. Church, a sacred place. Some adults are about as mature as the children they are raising.

Hurt children trapped in adult bodies need HEALING. Hurting people hurt other people. They hurt them with words. They hurt them with violence. They hurt them by being vindictive. They hurt them with malicious gossip.

Hurting children trapped in adult bodies hurt themselves. They set themselves up for failure by making choices that keep them in a vicious cycle.  They choose the wrong friends. They choose the wrong woman or man. They choose to do nothing about their circumstances when presented with a better option. Hurting children are afraid of change. Hurting children are hopeless. Hurt and Hopeless equals anger. Hurting children throw temper tantrums when things don’t go their way and they do not like to be corrected because they do not like to be wrong.

Growing up grown folks takes healing of the hurts and harsh realities they have harbored deep in their hearts and souls. Only the Creator can heal them. But first they have to give up the ghosts. Give up the ghosts that haunt them. Give up the horrible childhood. Give up the traumatic losses. Give up the horrendous acts done to them by others. Give up the abusive relationships. They have to give up the ghosts so they can be raised from this dead life they are living. Growing up grown ups takes correction. Growing up grown folks takes clear directions. They need these two things during the HEALING PROCESS…WHICH CAN TAKE MONTHS AND YEARS. It’s going to take relying on strength within, a HIGHER POWER, and someone or some books divinely placed into your life for guidance. Dear Hurting Grown ups, Give up the Ghosts….


I’m still giving up ghosts…I am still learning and growing and I can see that. I can measure that by the actions I take and the ones I don’t take. I can measure that by the words I use and the silence I choose. I can measure that by how well I manage my emotions and practice self control. Make your world, the world in you a better place and that will make your children’s world, your friendships, relationships, family-ships a better world. It will make this world a better, safer, place to live in. Heal up.


The Liberation Journey: Transitioning to Levels of Freedom


From the Nicole that life had shaped, to my AUTHENTIC SELF, to this current LIBERATED JOURNEY so that I can be LEGENDARY, I can truly say you will be looked at strangely and misunderstood and not understood at all. If you take this journey or are living this journey you will be called weird and funny acting. My now Authentic self cares nothing about that! Once you are free, you are FREE INDEED. The Son sets you free, you set yourself free, or however you become free it is liberating to the soul. I believe there are different levels of freedom happening in our lives. Sometimes you have to free yourself. Sometimes you need help from a Higher Power and for ME that is God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, and Angels.  Sometimes it is just granted to you. Boom! You are free!

You are so free you will not let anyone deter you. You are so free, if it threatens your peace and love for yourself you will let go even if it hurts. You are so free, you only have time to help others and not to tear them down.


Sunday Morning Coffee Musing: Dealing with Adults that Play the Victim


It’s a heavy topic, but it’s been on my mind for several weeks. There are a few reasons adults play the victim role such as: it gets them attention, it gets someone to feel sorry for them, it allows them to manipulate the situations and feel in control. Somewhere along the way, perhaps in childhood or with someone in their life, they found this role comfortable and acceptable. They are especially clever at using this role to create a situation, blame someone else, never say they are sorry, and then get people to be “on their side.” It’s a victory for them.

The way I deal with adults like this is the same way I deal with a child. I don’t give in to their tactics and I point out where they are wrong with logic and if necessary, scripture. Sometimes no response is the best response and to carry on with your life. Really, if you have someone in your group, crew, circle, church that is a “master” at playing the victim they need the Master to makeover  them over. They need to master their feelings. People who play the victim want you to be responsible for their feelings. They need to be responsible for their feelings!

Why with love? These people are wounded and they have become accustomed to a false sense of power. Playing the role of the victim for your entire life, or whenever it is necessary is a weak position that renders you no real power. Real power comes from:

  • accepting when you are wrong
  • healing the wounds of the past
  • dealing with your feelings maturely
  • asking for forgiveness for your lies and games
  • not needing attention from negativity or period to feel important, to validate your opinion or your feelings
  • accepting that things do not have to go your way
  • living from a position of honesty and truth is power


Reaching Beyond What’s Broken


What is it that is broken in your life? I have heard that when you are at the end of your rope you should tie a knot and keep hanging on. But don’t your arms (strength) weaken? Does not your hands (heart) have blisters? I’ve asked God what if I let go? And God responded that he (she) would catch me. Yet, God has informed me this is not the time to let go. No, not in this situation. So, how do I reach beyond what is broken?

Imagine that you drop a very fragile dish right before you. Did you curse? (lol) Did you get angry? Are you irritated and agitated? You felt something. When something breaks in our lives, we feel something. The first thing you do is STEP OVER the broken porcelain or glass. And guess what? That’s it! Mind you, we are only talking about how to reach beyond what is broken. As long as you are standing there in the midst of brokenness you can’t begin the clean up. And let’s say that sometimes what is broken is so bad, the Creator has to reach over your brokenness to get you the other side of safety. You know, like what may have been done by a parent to you as a child. “DON’T MOVE!” they say. Then they reach over the broken glass to get you away from the danger of sharp edges. Because that is what a caring parent does. They realize you can’t get yourself out without the risk of being hurt even more. And then they clean up.

You see, sometimes you will be the one that has to step over what is broken so that it can be fixed or left behind. And sometimes, God will reach in and carry you over the brokenness. Either way you move beyond what’s broken and only then can you determine what is next.

I say to myself this morning: What’s next?



The Power of Introspection


The Power of Introspection: You’re less likely to criticize where others are in their journey. Besides, correction to those you are lead to is a far more powerful tool than criticism.-Nicole Jackson (keywords “lead to”)


Sunday Morning Coffee Musings:The Power of Introspection


It was when my daughter was born I began the journey to look deeper within myself to find out why I was the way I was at that time. The journey has progressed over the years to why I am the way I am now, how I want to be in the future, to forgiveness of self and others, to ever evolving. And so much more.

I can tell you the first step to introspection is brutal honesty, but gentle forgiveness and a course of actions to remedy the issue if there need be one. I’ve gotten my instructions from logic, books, observations of others and ultimately God who sent all the aforementioned things via the vehicle of wisdom. Brutal honesty with yourself is a practice that is  necessary if you want to get to the heart of the matter and I am not just talking about honesty about yourself, but honesty about others and the situations that have occurred in your life.

I started by addressing the things people said about me often that I refuted vehemently.

“You are wishy washy, very indecisive”

“You never smile. You’re always frowning. I thought you were mean.”

“You’re too clingy.”

“You are so sensitive.”

These are just a few. It took years to get through the layers of those those four things alone. It was the saying; “If it quacks like a duck, walks like a duck, looks like a duck it must be a duck” and “If everyone is saying the same thing to you over and over it must be true.” All four of those things I shared were true and are still true at times. I worked on being more decisive. I had to get to the underlying cause of that. It was work and it was years and I realized it was rooted in childhood and my nature. I smile so much now and I love it. I also know why all of those years I didn’t smile much. I didn’t know I had a reason to smile. I was bullied as a child and my frown was my defense! It kept many people out as I grew older. What was a fence for protection became a wall for isolation in many ways.

Being too clingy..ahhh yes, that really hurt. That was really hard work. Too many bad relationship made me want to hold on to anyone that crossed my path. It hurt to lose. It hurt to let go. I didn’t like pain. Who does? I had to learn several lessons from that:

If you hold on too tight you squeeze the life out of relationship. If you hold on to who’s hurting you, you hurt you! Trust is necessary and if it’s broken, then you have the option to leave or mend. It’s true, a person will do what they want to do because you can’t be around them 24/7 to ensure they won’t and why would you want to be? Who wants a relationship like that? Trust is essential to a successful relationship. (So much work in that area including becoming self confident and building self esteem).

You are too/so sensitive. I am. I tried for years to change that, but I realized being sensitive is how God created me. I govern my sensitivity by asking myself can I let that go? Am I taking that too personal? But I don’t question every single thing I feel. I feel deeply. I am who I am. Some people are just too rude and too mean and they want you not to be offended by it. Life.

Introspection is a lifelong  journey. The one thing I love about this journey is rarely do I have time to judge others, but I do have time to decide if I want them in my company. I find you are more understanding of others actions/ways. You recognize yourself in others or things you know they need to work out. You can deal with them or not. You can only heal yourself and aide in the healing of others. I am more whole and a healed person than I was at 25. I thank my God for that.