I had every intention of going to church this morning. Sunday School included. But, it’s not happening. I am not afraid to say I think it’s mental, emotional, and physical fatigue. Waking up to hip pain didn’t help but really it wasn’t a factor. I think it’s depression, I think it’s the blues, I think it’s boredom. I think it’s been a long time coming because I have seen it before. The snowball of EVERYTHING and here is the strange thing, I still feel the Christmas spirit in the midst. It just so happens that the past few months have caught up with me…I think. I guess. One day isn’t going to fix it. And the truth be told, for the first time ever, unrelated to being single during this time, I can’t wait until the holidays are over. There. I said it. But…I don’t even know if it’s holiday related or if the holidays have exasperated it. This “it.”
I know I am not the only one. Many get like this. It’s just too much of everything and it could be seasonal or it could be totally unrelated. So, what will I do today to get through it. I think I shouldn’t try so hard, push so hard to get through it. I think I should just ease through it. I am getting that this is not the time to barrel through. I feel in my own spirit that this is a delicate time. It’s going to require some honesty about some monumental things in my life that people may not be able to handle, but I can’t die spiritually to make others happy.
Whatever you do, let love be your motivation. In a situation like this, where people have made you want to “get back at them” or retaliate, CHOOSE to move away with love and SHOW YOURSELF how much you LOVE yourself by doing what you came here to do or by letting them go. You don’t have to show anyone anything except yourself. You don’t have to show the Creator what the Creator already knows you can do. Don’t let humiliation be your fire extinguisher. Let love and strength be your fire.
I know I had plans for my life at a very young age. Some people at a young age were dealt a blow that would change their course very early and some seem to have set their goals and achieved without much hindrance. We should have enough common sense to realize and comprehend that we all start our journey from different points with many things to factor in from the supporting parent to the non supportive parent. From a prestige education to surviving an environment where a parent didn’t care if you made it through school or not. It’s clear to me how these things and many more things affect each one of us differently. This blog is for those of us whom have had a series of unfortunate events.
Overcoming a series of unfortunate events in your life is not an easy feat. I have learned not to expect it to be. I can’t tell you why some are born and seem to have things knock them down back to back to back with barely enough room to catch a breath. I can only offer my philosophy like anyone else. I do recommend taking a philosophy that helps you to become stronger and to persevere verses one that teaches you to blame yourself without forgiving yourself. I can tell you what I did that probably brought Rheumatoid Arthritis out of remission but, I can’t tell you for sure why I developed Juvenile Arthritis in the fourth grade. I could say it was my lot in life. I could blame myself for the Rheumatoid but, that would only keep me in a state of stagnation. You could blame yourself, God or others for what happened to you or where you are but, that will only keep you in a state of stagnation. In other words, you won’t move or progress. Even if you manage to achieve great things in the realm of education and career, you will still be stagnant emotionally/mentally destroying relationships and self carrying anger or resentment.
During unfortunate events in my life, here is what I have learned so far in no order:
Cry. Don’t cry. Be upset. Be angry. Yes, feel and then make a deliberate decision to take the necessary steps to heal.
Do I need to know why? Yes. I find my why. I decide to acknowledge it. Learn from it. Sometimes I feel bad about it but, I move on into a productive action. Sometimes swiftly, sometimes eventually. If I am stuck I seek help. From God, friends, therapy, meditation, a book on what I am going through, etc.
Do I need to know why? No. Just keeping going I tell myself. The why will come later or it may never come. I still must keep going.
It just is. Deal with it now or later but, you must deal with it.
Do I know better? Then I must do better.
Helping others go through what I have experienced makes me feel good.
Survive the ordeal first then thrive.
Baby steps can turn into a brisk walk then a jog, then a run and then leaps and bound and now you are flying!!! This is thriving!
Dang, I’ve been through so much. I am still here. I am strong.
I don’t have to be strong all the time.
To love myself and to love others after what I’ve been through, going through is what being strong really is about. Bitterness makes me ugly. It makes me vulnerable to hate. I can hate what happened but, I can’t let hate reside in me.
Eat, Love, Pray, Meditate, Create.
Pain is energy. Energy can be transformed.
Let go. If it’s negative, bad for you.
Hold on. To yourself. To your children. To God. To Peace. To laughter.
Healing hurts. But letting a wound go unhealed hurts worse and could kill you dead (ha).
Some unfortunate events can lead you to a fortunate journey.