Contrary to popular belief, the free spirit does abide by rules and understands the need for rules in society and other entities. However, I can’t tell you how difficult it is when those rules confines your spirit, puts out your fire, and makes you reel with anguish. Almost, on the verge of quitting or ending a commitment. I think about quitting church quite often. When I make this statement, religious people go nuts and the conscious crowd cheers. I think to myself, hey, I’m not too fond of some of your rules either.
I don’t think I am without some biases. I don’t think I am perfect. I think I am just myself. I’d rather worship God in spirit and in truth whether that be in a building or nature or at home. However, a free spirit needs community and community needs the free spirit. If only to set others free. I am labeled not a free spirit but, a rebel of some sort most of the time. I can see that! I own that. Especially, when I challenge a rule or break a rule. I am “making trouble” they say. I say I am just trying to “make sense” because you are really cramping my style, productivity, freedom, well being, happiness, and creativity.
Some rules should never change and some rules are meant to be changed as society or an organization changes or supposingly grows. I often think the reason a church or business may not see growth is because they are stuck on outdated rules (principles) and this is the way we have always did it. But heck, if it’s putting us to sleep or the competition is doing better…what in your mind doesn’t prompt you to CHANGE THE RULES OR CHANGE METHODS? Pride for the church and holding on to positions. Mindset of those in charge for businesses and holding on to positions. Change is good they say but, change can be slow and painful and some changes will not take place in my lifetime on Earth. And some changes make no sense s we have seen on a job coming from the higher ups that seem to be high when they make these “changes” the workers no will not work. Obviously, they are too high up to consult with us lowly workers (rolls eyes here). No way we could be smarter than they are due to our position.
So, here I am on a Sunday morning debating on whether to go to church or not. And it’s not just the church I attend (I have to state that because some people read my blog are members and ex members and they like controversy). I get a phone call in the middle of this post asking if I can bring the highlights of Sunday School. Well, let me go get dressed.
Morning Pep Talk to Self: “Ain’t no turning this train around. Where you gonna turn it around at? On the side of some mountain (problem/situation)? To turn this train around in the midst of adversity would be disastrous. To lose faith, give up, right now, right here would be a major set back. Power through baby. Full speed ahead.” -Nicole to Nicole
Being Single is a status, becoming WHOLE is the part that requires WORK. But, the benefits of being whole allows you to SET FOLKS FREE & SET YOURSELF FREE without so much drama & trauma. Sometimes it hurts and sometimes it’s a “gtfoh” epitome. -Nicole D. Jackson
If you are waiting on God, God just may be waiting on you. God, the Universe, the Creator, the god within, just may be waiting on you to take action. The sign you are looking for may not be broadcasted as breaking news but, it just may be hearing what you were thinking about on a radio talk show. It may be reading it on someone’s post. It may come to you in a dream where you see yourself doing what it is you want to do.
Now that you see or hear the sign what are YOU going to do? Take a step or jump of the cliff, big or small, take action. I am in the fight of my life and money is scarce. It takes money to make money but, it takes an idea to generate money and create wealth. Once you have the idea then you have to DO SOMETHING. Read about it, research, take a class, save up, write the plan, write the idea out, or create a vision board. Start small and grow. Look into new ideas. Pray and meditate that the right people show up to help you. Be open to change and new directions. Treat failures as a lesson. Be okay with not being able to do some things well and capitalize off what you do with excellence. Remove those that hinder your progress or go around them. Create a positive space in your mind, body, soul, and heart and just go.
I am soon to be 43. I have no concern about age and creating the life and space I want to live in for the rest of my years. I never cared about age even at a young age. What is old? What is young? What is too late? It’s never too late to be happy. It’s never too late to be loved. It’s never too late to live your dreams. It’s never too late to make money. I got rid of two pages I was managing on Facebook. I linked my blog to my new page Nikki’s Confetti Life on Facebook. I changed my Instagram page to a Business Profile and linked it to the Facebook page. I promote my pages and posts with every extra dollar I save or make. I learned to crochet and I am learning to sew. I have written three books and I am just waiting for the right time and opportunity to launch them full throttle. I am thinking of more ways to get them to the masses. The are e-books and one in print. I sit at the feet of a published author helping others to reach their goals. You see, I am afraid. I am unsure. I don’t know what I am doing. I am making mistakes. I am messing up. I am getting my feelings hurt. BUT, I am doing. I am going. I am learning some things are business, some things are part of the process, and in conscious when you have not did anything to warrant bad reviews or opinions, or the lies told on you, you can shake the dust off your wings and keep flying. I fight Rheumatoid Disease, Fibromyalgia, Depression sometimes, Anxiety sometimes and I am worn and tattered but, God sews me back up when I lay my weary head and body down at night. A warrior will never come out of the battle without a scratch but, we can come out of the fire without smelling like smoke or being burned.
Dear Late Bloomers, Don’t be deterred by your age. Hold on to the promise and the Promise Keeper-Hart Ramsey
As a very late bloomer when it comes to doing the things I love and learning the things I have always wanted to do, it can be disheartening to hear and read all of the YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE BY NOW posts, blogs, and lectures. Or to tell someone what you are doing and they look at you sideways or even chuckle. At your age? Well, I thought age was just a number. I thought it was okay to “do me” I mean after all, I’ve done what everyone else wanted me to do and things I never wanted to do…so….
Listen, we late bloomers have already figured out why it took us so long or we wouldn’t be doing what we are doing. We have already analyzed, reflected, and are continuing our education on our life as you should be on yours (just saying). So let us bloom and get out of our sunlight. Help us weed with good advice. Water us with encouragement and support. We are planted and rooted and we are now sure of ourselves and what we want to do. Applause. We have arrived and we are working towards our dreams and goals.