Sunday Morning Coffee Musings: Pleasant Surprises

My first cup of coffee at my new home.

Happy Valentine’s Day to you! It’s a snowy morning here in Memphis, TN. and according to our southern-ness it will be a week where we will be snowed it. If we were up North this would be a regular work and school week.

All this week I have experience “pleasant surprises” from financial blessings unrelated to my chocolate strawberry hustle this week to coming home and finding flowers with Valentine’s Day Wishes.

There has been hustle and bustle in between. There has been restlessness and wanting to get it all done in a day. What I needed was all of the pleasant surprises to remind to stop, look, listen, breathe, and appreciate the gifts or blessings life offers in the midst of being busy. Everyone has been saying you can’t unpack in a day. You can’t do all of the home improvements and decorating in a day. It’s going to take time, they say. Life is saying through pleasant surprise, “Here you go. Enjoy this moment and put that other stuff down for a while. Organize. Say no. Relax. Rest. Sleep. And at a decent hour.” Pleasant surprises say you are being supported as I saw others support my chocolate covered strawberries that have never purchased them before. When I saw the flowers it was saying to me, “You are being thought of.” I haven’t received a Valentine’s gift outside of family in seven years.

I hope you take the time to enjoy the pleasant surprises that arrive in your life. I mean to really slow down and savor them.

~Nikki

Whatever Wednesday: Moving On Up

Good Morning friends! I have been busy busy as I closed on my home two weeks ago. It was indeed a rocky journey that finally ended with a blessing. The home that is now filled with boxes and bags that need to be unpacked, is a home that I grew up next to. It is the home of family friends.

So, I got a call in July with Mrs. Dorothy asking me if I wanted to buy their home. She was moving back home to get the help she needed from family to take care of her sister. I’d just finished working on my credit to get it in fair standing. I thought it would be difficult but, I had no idea the turmoil that would unfold for the both of us trying to get this house into my hands. I cried. I gave up several times verbally but, never gave up mentally. My faith was tested is an understatement. However, something inside of me kept saying “This is mine. This belongs to me.”

My anxiety reached new heights. My depression, new lows. Yet, I persevered. I let go when I needed to let go and I held on when I needed to hold on. AND I didn’t always get that right either! I had family and friends that encouraged me along the way. It seems as if they never gave up. They kept saying it’s yours. It’s going to be okay. It’s going to work out. It did. I couldn’t really celebrate on closing day because so many things had happened along the way I was bracing myself for another “We need this or that”.

While I was at the closing, the closing attorney asked if I would like a new Bible for my new home and I said yes. Also, I was gifted $100 that day. My realtor gave me a card at the end of my signing and when I opened it a $50 Home Depot card fell out. I was able to use this money to buy paint for my kitchen area, laundry room, hallway, and my daughter’s room. I am on a very tight budget and wanted to brighten up the home. It was truly a blessing. Plus, my brother painted it for me.

I will be blogging more about this journey soon. Until then, take care.

~Nikki

Hello February

My word for February is FAITH. I feel that it’s not so much about me having it but, about me USING IT! Last month my word was QUIET. I learned to listen to people and to be quiet. I learned to be quiet about things that were out of my control. I simply prayed about it as the solution. I learned to be quiet when I wanted to convince a person they didn’t have to put up with what they were dealing with if they would set boundaries. I realize they have chosen to deal with it in their own way. It is what it is. Be quiet and pray about it, Nicole. I told myself. It’s not your circus and they are not your monkeys. You are not the Ring Master.

So, I got my word by listening to Spirit. You can get your word by sitting quiet, reflect, and listen. It will come to you. I thought quiet was strange but, I rolled with it. Accept the word that come to you and roll with it. Why faith for me? I know I don’t use it properly in all of the areas of life that I should. The type of manifestation I want to see in my life this year is going to require FAITH WITH WORKS. It’s going to require BIG RISK TAKING FAITH. It’s going to take DETAILED and STRATEGIC planning FAITH. I’m must adapt the JUST DO IT and YES, YOU CAN attitude this month. I know I will be glad I did in the end.

What’s your WORD? Think on it. Share with me if you so desire.

~Nikki

Sunday Morning Coffee Musings: Keep On Ticking

We’d like to think we are like the watch that takes a lick and keeps on ticking but, in reality that is not the case. Some times we can only take so many lickings before we need rest or restoration or something repaired and replaced. This morning I was suppose to have a breakfast date. It didn’t happen. I was not surprised. I was not surprised because I just had “that feeling.”

As I started to make breakfast at home, I thought about the live session Iyanla Vanzant had yesterday via Facebook. The part that came up was “Say Yes.” Of course saying yes to things going your way or well makes sense but, saying yes to things not going your way or things that do not make sense isn’t easy. And well, it doesn’t make sense either. I am familiar with this line of thinking. So, getting the toaster off the shelf, I said, “I don’t like being stood up or ghosted for breakfast this morning, but yes to it. Yes. I can remove him from the list of possibilities. I saw he had removed himself from my friend’s list. Welp. But…not. 😀 One thing about life, it goes on.

I took a lick. I stopped ticking but, shook myself and poof…ticking again. In life, in love, in dating, we take licks of various sizes, distances in drops, even spills and we continue to tick. Fascinating. Aren’t we.

~Nikki

Whatever Wednesday: TIME KEEPS ON SLIPPING…

Time management. I know you have heard it as a student, employee, or employer. It’s your time and you decide what you want to do with it.

Do you want to achieve your dreams and goals? Use your time wisely.

Do you want to get more out of your day? Organize and Prioritize your day and the week on Sundays.

Say no to distractions and get back on track. Make it a habit of putting yourself on track each time you get off and remember if you derail the day, tomorrow is a NEW DAY! DO OVER!

If they ask you to do it today and you don’t have time, TELL THEM THE TRUTH. People expect you to drop what you are doing and put them at the top or add them to you’re already loaded day. It can wait along with their attitude if they get one! Also, explaining to them it will be best to ask and make arrangements with you ahead of time. Constant last minute requests wreck havoc on your day and mind. Tell them so.

Don’t overload yourself. You can’t do it all in one day. You can’t do a week or a month’s worth of activities in a day. BREAK IT DOWN and it will get done. It will get done properly and in order.

~Nikki

Whatever Wednesday: Pep Talk on Actions, Commitment, and Change

You can write your goals, map out your plans, and dream about traveling the world. But unless you put some ACTION to your goals, it’s not going to happen. Create an action plan to each of your goals. How will you travel the world? How will you be healthier? How will you create a podcast? How will you be more active on your blog? It’s in the how!

I exercise better in the mornings but, I would rather watch CBS Morning News. It’s a 2 hour show and I am usually doing other work while it’s on. I also have my breakfast. It comes down to what am I committed to? I have three options: I can exercise before it comes on which will require me to get up earlier. I can take the first 30 minutes of the show to exercise since, there will be a recap anyways and I won’t miss much. I can exercise afterwards which means I would have to change my routine. I have options that require actions and commitment.

I have discovered that I need to “do” something thing different in order to achieve my goals. I have to make some CHANGES to my thinking and my routine. I have become comfortable in my routine. It has to change. Change is also an avenue to making achieving goals. Changing plans, changing actions, changing your mind about the direction your going in, changing your routine. What’s going to help you change what is not working or what may serve you better is the ability to ADJUST YOUR ATTITUDE. I have to adjust to the new routine for exercise and understand that this is better for me. I have to adjust my thinking that CBS Morning news is not more important than my opportunity to exercise.

Oh, and being a person with a illness, I have to remain flexible in my schedule. Some nights I may not get much sleep and that affects my plans. Some days, I may be in too much pain to exercise. Some days I may not be there mentally due to brain fog, anxiety, or depression or all three (quite the roller coaster). Some may have a family or work obligations that come up. So we all must have that FLEX in our plans and ADJUST. I like that: FLEX and ADJUST.

~Nikki

Sunday Morning Coffee Musings: Setbacks & Perseverance & Birth

It seems as though this week, this year has been filled with setbacks. Individual setbacks and when you look at it, setbacks across the nations. It seems as if we take a step forward and two steps back. It’s a push against some invisible force. It’s what I talked to you about in the beginning of the year. It’s the tearing down and building up. What’s it going to take to clear the debris of this year, or the last four years for some, is perseverance.

Perseverance

noun

  1. persistence in doing something despite difficulty or delay in achieving success.

I know you must rest. You must rest and get adequate rest in order to clear the debris. This is hardcore labor. This is blood, sweat, and tears, It’s ugly and you can’t be cute or handsome with this. You are going to need some perseverance. You need determination. Make up your mind and set your face like flint. This means: Whatever comes your way, don’t change your mind about the outcome. Don’t change your mind about the business. Don’t change your mind about education. Don’t change your mind about your goals and dreams. Set your face like flint. Get it done in the face of the harsh winds that may blow.

I was worried about my big birthday plans. I was worried about not being able to travel. I was worried about my business and not making money. I was worried about not being able to gather with friends. I HAD PLANS! BUT…

Thank God, I knew how to adapt. I knew how to adjust. I knew how to accept. IT WAS HARD. BUT I DID IT. YOU DID IT. AND NOW IT’S TIME TO REMOVE THE DEBRIS. I also learned what and who was really important in my “plans”.

I found out who I was this year. I found out who others weren’t. I found out what I was made of and I found out what I wasn’t. And now it’s time to clear out the debris. It’s time to wash away the losses and look at what has been born. What did you birth? What came out of this? What can you do with what’s left and what can be toss? What can you clear out?

Make way for the new. Take off the sackcloth and get on with your “it” in a NEW and PROFOUND way.

~Nikki

We’ve Got This and If Not, That’s Ok, Too!

Sometimes I go to bed feeling defeated. Sometimes I rise with power and sometimes I rise with a press in my spirit. I do not know why some of our lives have more obstacles than others. It’s not because we are special as we have been told (I don’t believe that). It’s not ALL because of the choices we make. But it’s always about the response. I believe it’s simply because this is our lot. This is our path. This is our journey and everyone’s journey is different. That’s it. I got this today with the weight of the world on my shoulders and tears in my eyes. I got this.

~Nikki

Sunday Morning Coffee Musings: A Clean Slate

Photo of the Mississippi River and Sun by Nicole Jackson

Now is the time to empty yourself of all of the negative energy, trauma, and drama. Why? Because Winter really is coming. The Winter Solstice, or the First Day of Winter is December 21. In order for us to have winter, the Earth and the Sun must shift and we should follow suit. These are the signs in the sky the Bible and other books speak about. Often times in Christianity we ignore these things although, the Bible speaks of and suggests we pay attention and seek the deeper things of God.

It will be a time, on that day, we will experience the longest period of darkness and the shortest period of light. Now is the time to understand and to sit with your own darkness. None of us are all light. We have parts of us that need work, that we hide from others (or think we do) and ways that manifest itself in public. I’m talking about our ugly and our weaknesses. These things are like our shadows that follow us around even in the light and seem to disappear into the dark. They disappear as we ignore them or we push them down into the subconscious. We pretend we don’t see them or it’s not there or make excuses.

It is time to sit with your darkness because when the light comes, the season changes, and it will be time to move forward WITHOUT all of the baggage from the dark. It will be time to do a new thing and to have a CLEAN SLATE all the way around, in every area. So what good will it do for you if you drag your baggage of darkness with you onto a clean slate? It will do you NO GOOD! It’s time to do some shadow work.

The ENERGY if winter is about going within. Are you ready to go within and to do the work? Are you ready to face your darkness, understand it, so that you can walk in the fullness and greatness of who you are? Understand your sadness, anger, meanness, uncomfortable feelings about yourself and others. Face the residual emotions of the divorce, failed relationships. Explore your connection between your behaviors, reactions, in connection with your childhood. Go within. Don’t worry about what THEY are doing or what THEY did. This is your path through darkness into the light that awaits us. Call it enlightenment or a spiritual awakening but, neither one can happen with darkness. Welcome the dark (the unknown, the knowing it’s not right, the negative feelings, emotions, and behaviors. The ignorance (not knowing). Bring it on fear! Get ready to work! It’s the way to light.

I’ll share with you one of my shadows I want to address. It is the one that gravitates towards the emotionally unavailable (sometimes emotionally unstable) relationships. I have been shrinking this shadow for years. But now I want to get rid of it for good! It’s not as dominant as it use to be. It use to hold on to the pain and suffering those relationships offered. It mimicked the pain in suffering of childhood. While I now seem to be able to avoid and detect these traits, I am still appalled at the fact that I still attract these people. So the work is what is it in me that is leftover. What are residual thoughts and emotions I need to address and heal?

SO there. I let you in on one of my shadows. It took courage. It took vulnerability. You can’t have success without either one.

~Nikki

Sunday Morning Coffee Musings: Struggle Faith

You know that unwavering faith? Yeah, I don’t really have that ALL the time. However, I do have it in “certain” areas. You may wonder why don’t I have that type of faith ALL the time in ALL areas. You know, like you. Well, I have seen God work as far as finances in my life over and over again. I can be certain that it will work itself out and I have learned that I also have responsibility in that area as well. I know that God is a healer and that God’s grace is sufficient where a thorn may be. I know that God will protect me. I have been protected and delivered from many situations.

My faith WAVERS in the area of love and relationships. I have not seen God faithful in my life, in this area. Now, let me clarify. I have seen God REMOVE. I have been responsible to remove. I have yet to see love arrive in the form of my mate, my soul mate, my twin flame. So, pardon me if I am a little “iffy” and doubtful for I have been toiling for years (Toiling is something they say in the olden church days and I recall hearing that as a child). It means you have been laboring heavily. For a long time and sometimes without harvest. This is how I feel. Some years nothing. Other times weeds. Quite a bit, looks like harvest, just a new weed. All the time, I am sowing GOOD SEEDS in the wrong ground it turns out. Well, I sow those same seeds in my own ground so why haven’t they manifested outside of me? I don’t know. Other than the classic answer, “My dear child, it’s not your time.” Head down or side eye?

Well, how long is the line before my time? I’ve missed the window to have more children. I’d at least like to be able to travel and enjoy the rest of these years with someone worthy of my presence and presents of love and loyalty. Hold on…tides coming in.

~Nikki