Sunday Morning Coffee Musings: Hello July and June’s Life Lessons for Nikki

It’s JULY and I am not going to say “ALREADY” because I am working on enjoying EACH day and EACH month and not focusing on “time slipping away”. Immerse yourself in the day and month and it won’t seem to be slipping away and moving fast. Just a thought.

So, June was what it was suppose to be for me. The energy it gave was the energy I tapped into and at times wrestled with.

June’s Lessons

  • Don’t let other’s negativity influence you in any way!
  • Get ahold of your finances!
  • God’s perception of me is never clouded even if my perception of myself is clouded and other’s perception of me is clouded
  • When I don’t know how I feel about myself I need to ALIGN with how God sees me.
  • Each moment, good or bad, ugly or beautiful, relationships, friendships, family-ships, have shaped me and given me identity. However, is that my true identity? Ephesians 2:10. It certainly makes me unique as we should be.
  • If I am feeling severe depression, it’s okay to sleep most of the day, watch TV and tell others I don’t feel like talking. Do stay hydrated. Do eat/snack healthily. DO NOT JUDGE MYSELF for having a dark day.
  • Heal and release self sabotaging THOUGHTS so I CAN BE OF SERVICE TO OTHERS!
  • Reach for my higher self. It will not always be easy.

~Nikki

Excerpts From My Coffee Time /God: Change Your View

How can I do my work without delay or hesitance?

Plan it. Do it. Discipline. Via time with God, I discovered my problem is, my root problem is a lack of confidence that stems from childhood. I was made to feel that nothing I did was good enough or right. None of the choices I made were the best or right per one of my parents. Although I have worked diligently through this there is still residuals of it that seep out in little ways. This is why I always say you will be working on yourself the entire time you are here. How on earth will you find time to fix, correct, and criticize everyone else “if” you are busy working on yourself.

Via God/Spirit: I tell you this; DO IT. Do your work and expect errors. Expect people not to like it or to like you but, you don’t have to be defensive about who and what people like. You don’t like certain people and you don’t like what they are talking about, teaching about, speaking of and the difference is you have learned that you don’t have to voice or write that unless what they are saying is filled with hate. I am not of hate, division, or things of that energy. And even then, you need to know when to speak and when not to.

Via God/Spirit: See mistakes as teachers and tools to help you grow. Ah, you are embarrassed and ashamed when you make mistakes. Yet, you always defend and tell others it’s okay if they make mistakes. You don’t give yourself the same grace and mercy. I know. It was never okay for you to make mistakes. And when you did, boy were you ever ridiculed merciless at times. Give yourself the same grace and mercy you give others. I gave you grace and mercy then, now, and in the future. Release that thinking. Let’s work on that.

~Nikki

Excerpts From My Coffee w/God: If You are Hungry and You Know It

Day 6 Excerpt

What you tell yourself or when you don’t filter the thoughts that enter your mind like, “EAT ALL OF THE POTATO CHIPS NIKKI”, the body will do. Explore your emotional eating habits because that is the root of your problem lately. Not discipline. Not because you like food. Why wouldn’t you like food? A tree has many roots. One root may be sugar and salt addictions or insufficiency. One root may be a craving for a nutrient or vitamin that causes you to pick chocolate or ice chips. Remember that time you could not stop eating ice and your iron was extremely low? The nurse called and wondered how you were still standing! It could also be genetic make-up but, right now it’s emotional for you. Explore those things and self-discipline becomes easier.

~Nikki

Excerpts From My Coffee Time /God: MOVE

Excerpt Day 5

MOVE. Move physically. Move spiritually. Take care of yourself. Eat healthier. Move your body. It helps to move negative and stagnant energy. It helps to move the energy of anxiety and depression. MOVE.

MOVE from thinking like you used to think or the ideals you once had. They aren’t working in this season. Some are no longer working at all.

MOVE away from what you used to do. Things have changed. It seems strange because you are between habits and new mindsets. SHIT has happened and hat the fan so SHIFT can happen. SHIFT has happened for you mentally but, emotionally, you need to catch up.

~Nikki

Excerpts From My Coffee w/God: When, Who, and How

Day 4 Excerpt

God knows WHEN, WHO, and HOW so I don’t have to worry about those things. It’s none of my business. I request. I give thanks when I think about the absence of things so the absence disappears. Therefore, the “thought” of absence disappears. It’s just an illusion anyway. When I think about when, who, how I remind myself that God, Infinite Intelligence, the Creator, the Universe, Yahweh, knows and I can be at peace.

~Nikki

Excerpts from My Coffee w/God: Did I Learn Anything?

You don’t have to choose unhappiness just because you are used to choosing unhappiness or being unhappy. -God

God, life, the universe, or whatever you call Source, is teaching and it’s your choice to learn. I learned after all of these years, this year, I don’t have to make a choice that I know will make me unhappy simply because I am used to unhappiness. What am I talking about? I have not been so lucky in the dating arena (but I have definitely been blessed to have dodged some bullets!) and I only realized this year that some of the choices I made were choices that I KNEW would more than likely lead me to unhappiness but, I made those choices anyway.

You know like ignoring your intuition, your gut, the Holy Spirit, the voice in your head. I had more than enough evidence numerous times giving a person a chance or a second chance or third or…years would only lead to more unhappiness. I made those choices in hopes of a better outcome but, with this last relationship, if you can call it that, I was making it out of the habit of being disappointed.

As I look back, I can see where I made the choice out of hope in some of my past relationships and where I made it SUBCONSCIOUSLY out of unhappiness. Sometimes we have been disappointed, unhappy, or things have been delayed for so long we think we are never going to get them. Therefore, we self-sabotage or set ourselves up for failure unknowingly. I was doing this in various ways. I may have stop allowing certain brazing mistreatment but, I was still going against my gut, allowing mild subpar treatment, dragging things out just because I wanted something to be there, I knew CLEARLY was not there but, fearing I would make the wrong decision.

When I heard that statement, “You don’t have to choose unhappiness just because you are used to choosing unhappiness or being unhappy”, it wasn’t a light bulb moment. It was as if a light from heaven, like the sun was turned on.

~Nikki

Excerpts from My Coffee Time w/God: Do You Feel at Peace About It?

Photo by Nicole Jackson The Might Mississippi from Rooftop

I had an opportunity but the hours would be a challenge to me physically. You would think well that’s a no brainer. It’s not when you are trying to save money and take care of things around the house. I struggled for about two weeks in agony about what to do. How to sacrifice and what exactly would be at stake. I worried myself sick and stirred the hornets’ nest of anxiety. I asked God for an answer over and over on what to do. I thought I didn’t get answer until Day 2 of Coffee Time with God.

As I sat there in quietness, sipping coffee, I asked God, “Why didn’t you answer me about that opportunity?”

God: I did. Those times when you were silent internally, I asked you, do you feel at peace about it? I asked you several times. Sometimes you said no and at other times you kept worrying about it and what other people would think of you if you passed up such a golden opportunity. Once you said no you didn’t feel at peace about it, that was your answer.

Me: Oh.

I thought about all of those years I worked jobs and I didn’t like any of them. In fact, the last one I hated so much it made me ill. Why don’t people do what they love or “just find another job” you may ask. Well because it’s not always that simple. Would you believe some people don’t know or believe it’s possible for them to do what they love in life? Some are working jobs and careers other people chose for them or for the money it brings. Some of us are working jobs to take care of family, loved ones, children and to pay off debts. I looked for jobs to do what I love but I didn’t have the education and I didn’t have the ability to go back to school in another state with a child in tow. Who would watch my daughter? Online school was not a thing then. When it did become a thing, I did go back to school and received my Associates Degree only to become ill and unable to continue with my bachelors.

At that last job, I kept it because the hours allowed me to be a mom 4 days out of the week and I could work overtime. It was not for the pay. I also only had to worry about childcare and how to get her home from school 3 days of the week. My last two years on the job while I was ill, I searched for a job that could accommodate my illness. I did not find one job and the job I had told me they couldn’t either.

You don’t know people’s struggles or logic and I advise against flippant retorts such as, “Just find another job.” That job may provide them with the necessary benefits to cover for their family. YES, there are times people have to work jobs they don’t want to or enjoy until the opportunity presents itself or until they create an opportunity to do what they enjoy or to become what they always wanted to be. Maybe asking them if they have a plan to find or do something else is better.

This was the one time and first time in my life I could say no to a job that would hurt me physically and I didn’t know what to do. It was the one time; I could wait on something better or continue to create my own opportunity into better financial gains and abundance. Shortly after that, I sold 5 pieces of art.

~Nikki

Excerpts from my Coffee with God Time: I Don’t Fully Trust God

During my birthday month, March, I was led to spend 15 minutes of silence in the morning for 18 days. I could read or just listen or talk with God. I must say it was challenging the first few days because I didn’t know what exactly I was supposed to be doing or learning. I pray in the mornings when I wake up and give thanks. I now see this was more of a concentrated, intentional, consecrated time alone with God. It was meant to be a practice and habit forming. I poured coffee and sat there. I will share some of what I received.

It was brought to my attention on day 1 that I still have trust issues with God. I woke up that morning and I heard, “God cares about you.” So, I said it to myself, “God cares about me.” Say it 18 times for the next 18 days when you first wake up. This is when I got the rest of the instructions I mentioned above. I had my notebook of wisdom (this is where I jot down inspiration) and I sat in the chair by the window. This is what poured out:

“So many people think I don’t care about them but, I do. They blame me for the things they can’t control, things that happen to them. They blame me for things they can control. They blame me because they don’t understand life. There are ways to understand life that are simple.”

I wrote my response to this:

Sometimes when things happen to me or things don’t go the way I think they should, when I don’t have any help, the first thing that comes to my mind is, “No one cares about me.” I say this when I feel lonely, too. This “no one” includes God. I use to say God doesn’t care about me. I have had the thought that God doesn’t care and No one cares growing up into my young adulthood. I stopped saying that once I developed a relationship with God. However, when I presently think or say, “No one cares about me”, God is secretly included sometimes. As if God doesn’t know when I mean him/her, too. I knew this was why it was being presented to me. Although I don’t say it often, from time to time, I will say or think, NO ONE CARES ABOUT ME.

But how can God love me and not care about me? God is telling me; I believe exactly that and that is contradiction. There’s no conflict in God. There are no conflicting thoughts, feelings, or emotions.

END OF EXCERPT

God cares about me. It really doesn’t matter what happened to me, what is happening, what will happen, God cares about me. It doesn’t matter what’s in my bank account, if my dreams come true, if the love of my life shows up, if I don’t have any help sometimes, God cares about me. Heartaches and heartbreaks, God cares about me. It didn’t go my way or I am in excruciating pain and I have no one to call on, God cares about me. I have gotten through every low moment in my life. God cares about me.

~Nikki

Hello June 6 Energy

Photo by Nikki’s Confetti Life-Rooftop overlooking the Mighty Mississippi River

May was one helluva rollercoaster ride for many but now that you are on the ground plant your feet firmly. Stay grounded and rooted in the TRUTH and not your negative thoughts, doubtful thoughts, self-pity parties, or feelings that do not serve your higher good. May was a MASTER CLASS and I hope you learned and grew from it.

June’s SIX energy:

Bring your HIGH ENERGY and your HIGHER SELF to the GAME OF LIFE. It’s time to UPLIFT, GATHER, and HAVE FUN. It’s time for the SHEDDING OF LIGHT in this darkness. Receive so healing and give some healing. Also, accept people for who they are and where they are in life in this present moment. Accept where you are and who you are. Maya Angelo said, “When people show you who they are, believe them!”

Now when you take the 6 energy of this month and add it to the 6 energy of this year you get 12. When you break the 12 down you get 3. We are working with a 3 energy as well this month.

The 3 energy:

This is a high energy for CREATIVITY. GET INTO IT. Express yourself on any level and with any medium you choose. Art? Blogging? Podcast? Speaking? Fashion? Spirituality? Let your voice and choice be heard.

On the flip: Balance. Don’t burn yourself out with all of this high energy and “doing” or “going”. On your to do list include NOTHING. Include rest. These energies can also cause you to be melodramatic. Don’t get pulled into drama and gossip. Don’t get caught up in seeking attention. Instead, love yourself. Accept yourself. Also, accept the fact that not everybody will not like you. It’s a fact of life.

MAKE TIME for the Creator. Make time to read something that will feed your soul. Make time to meditate.

This is the short of the energies for this month. Enjoy your JUNE!!!

~Nikki

Protecting Your Peace of Mind through Journaling and Therapy

It’s funny that I am typing this right before bed and I have my journal out because I need to write in it tonight. I am also starting a new journal practice called Morning Journaling. It’s when you write whatever comes to mind in the morning. This can show you so much of what you are thinking about first thing in the morning. It could be something silly or it could be something heavy. Knowing this can help you navigate your day.

Journaling helps get what’s in your head and heart onto paper. Once it’s onto paper, it aids in relief of whatever you are feeling. It helps you to see things more clearly. It can help you process emotions and be an indicator of inappropriate thoughts and feelings. You can also audio journal by using your recorder on your phone. Once it’s recorded you can play it back and hear what you are thinking and process what you are thinking. It’s up to you to keep it or erase it.

I think journaling helps our peace of mind. Especially, when you have so much on your mind. Clearing your mind is a huge help in fostering peace of mind. Sometimes before bed I am overwhelmed or anxious thinking about what I need to do the next day. Writing a list before bed helps me to worry less. If it pops in my head, I tell myself, “You wrote that down. Relax.”

Therapy helps protect our peace of mind. Yes, it does because therapy helps us to see patterns, interrupt those patterns, and even assist us in developing new patterns of thinking. Therapy can help us see where our thinking goes off the rails and help us to understand why and how to keep it on track. It can help us to make connections with how we think and our past or present, family environment, or if it’s based on trauma. I know this from personal experience and I am a huge supporter of therapy. Your mental health matters.

~Nikki