My Top Lessons of 2022: Lesson #3 “Escuchame!”

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In March, I took some dedicated time with God and called it, “Coffee with God”. I posted my 18 days of 15 minutes with God as I either, prayed, meditated, read from a specific book, or just sat there listening. Sometimes I spent the 15 minutes in nature. I wrote in my journal what came from the time spent. I shared it with you as a series https://nikkisconfettilife.com/2022/06/05/excerpts-from-my-coffee-with-god-time-i-dont-fully-trust-god/

I still practice this “ritual” but with less restriction. I think from that whole practice of 18 days and 15 minutes, God was basically saying to me what my Spanish teacher use to yell or raise her voice in class when she wanted our undivided attention, “Escuchame! Escuchame!” It means, LISTEN TO ME!

LESSON #3; MAKE AND TAKE THE TIME SO THAT YOU CAN LISTEN TO GOD, SPIRIT, THE CREATOR, DIVINE. Take the time to deepen your connection to strengthen your LISTENING SKILLS. If you make it a priority, if you stay consistent, you will be able to hear before and during a situation instead of always being behind the 8 ball. (Hearing God after the fact).

~Nikki

My Top 12 Lessons of 2022: Lesson #2 Move Forward in Confidence

These are my top 12 lessons from my personal growth journey this year. I share in hopes to help someone or to give a different perspective to the human experience.

Sometimes, okay, many times, I feel as though no one sees me or hears me. I give friends and family the instructions and advice they need and they in turn get the same advice from others. It makes me feel as though I am not being heard or trusted. It makes me feel I am not valued because the person they get their information from may have more credentials, followers, or celebrity status.

God revealed to me that what I really was seeking is validation. We all want to be validated in some shape form or fashion or at some time in our lives. When they wouldn’t listen to me, I would feel like maybe they think I am a novice. When I post my beliefs, thoughts, revelations, wisdom, I would think maybe some of these other spiritually well-known people think I am a novice. Maybe because they never heard of me, they think I am a novice.

Here is what I NOW have come to understand, I am NOT a novice when it comes to God, the deeper things of God I have discovered or that have been revealed. I in fact DO know what I am talking about. I ABSOLUTELY have a deep connection to the Creator. I DO know what I am speaking of when God or Spirit, revelation, dreams, numbers, energy, speak to me. I DO know what I have learned from life, lessons, and experience. I am NOT a NOVICE. I DO NOT need to be validated by anyone except the one who created me, shaped me, fashioned and formed me in the womb.

LESSON #2; WITH THIS KNOWLEDGE, MOVE FORWARD HENCEFORTH WITH CONFIDENCE. I haven’t been sitting on a pew for 47 years. I’ve been connected, disconnected, reconnected, and strengthening the connection between myself and SOURCE. I have been studying, researching, reading, to show myself approved. I have been at many low points, valleys, and risen to the top of the hill with lessons. I have been in the fire, gone through the fire, and came out with fire.

IT’S OKAY TO KNOW YOUR STUFF AND TO BE CONFIDENT IN WHAT YOU DO. It’s funny because I am confident in my skills to make an excellent lasagna. I am confident in my crocheting. I waver in my art because someone once said it was not professional enough. Yet, I have sold my artwork. It’s the penetration of the words of others that I have allowed into my psyche that I must remove. I am a hell of an abstract artist. I am an amazing writer and author. I am a UNIQUE vessel of the HIGHEST and I walk in that DIVINE calling with confidence.

~Nikki

My Top 12 Lessons of 2022: Lesson #1″I’m Not the Problem”

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These are my top 12 lessons from my personal growth journey this year. I share in hopes to help someone or to give a different perspective to the human experience.

We always hear, “Work on yourself. Do the work. It’s an inside job. You’re only attracting what you are.” First let me say that the last one really gets under my skin. I am not a liar or cheater. I don’t play games. I’m not many of things I get in the people I attract. So, “I don’t believe we always attract what we are. Even moths and other insects are attracted to light.”-Nicole Jackson. There’s room for expounding the last statement “we attract what we are”.

Secondly, I learned that I was not the problem in a “relationship” and there was nothing holding me back from a healthy relationship. But it was the other party’s own lack of healing, growth, confusion, and lack of honesty within themselves and to me that was holding them back from having a healthy relationship with me. What a relief that was. When I stopped jumping through hoops, I felt free. As a creative that is an empath and subject to take this deeply personal, there was something within that said, “Hey. Don’t take it personal. This person has a right to not commit for whatever reasons and they also aren’t ready to be with anyone. So, don’t take it personally.” I didn’t miss a beat. I kept right on with my projects and my life and it happened 3 days before Valentine’s Day!

My friends gathered around to coddle me but were surprised when I told them I was happy. I was relieved. I was glad this on and off again saga finally has come to an end. I was free. I was detached. No strings. I burned them. The individual and I remain associates. I had to remove our friendship dynamic as it was the bridge that kept us going back and forth. We are cordial and that is it.

TOP LESSON NUMBER ONE I LEARNED; I AM NOT THE PROBLEM. So many times, we try to figure out what is wrong with us and what we can do to make things work. It can’t work if the other piece is broken and doesn’t want to be fixed or can’t see they need some work.

~Nikki

Sunday Morning Coffee Musings: A December to Remember

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I don’t know about you but, it’s been a “doozie” of a year for me. I titled this A December to Remember because it’s a time, a month we should use to reflect on the year and to prepare for next year. You can’t get ready for next year, next year. Well, you can. No pressure. But I suggest taking a week or two to look at your goals and see where you stand. It doesn’t matter what you didn’t do because it can be tabled, removed, or moved to next year. It can be revised and revamped.

Celebrate what you accomplished. Show gratitude.

However, take a bird’s eye view of your life. Where are you? Where do you want to go? Are you on track or off track? How will you get there? You must write the vision and make things plain.

Also, don’t forget your spiritual journey. It’s of utmost importance. How did that go this year? What did you learn? Did you grow?

This month I will probably be blogging more than usual as I share my top 12 lessons and a combination of observations of my year. It certainly was my year of endings as I knew that in the beginning of the year but, I was quite sure how that would unfold. Let alone, how to prepare for it.

~Nikki

How do you feel about your year? Was it what you expected?

Sunday Morning Coffee Musings: Losing My Religion

Losing My Religion is a song by this rock/alternative group, R.E.M and the title of this song is the best way to describe how I felt last Sunday. I was annoyed, irritated about the circumstances at my home church and it felt like a pile up of emotions crashing down and around me. I felt a sinking feeling. I felt literally nauseous in my spirit. Sickening. All of this gave me a panicking feeling as I headed home from service.

I had never felt this intensity of what I felt. I felt like giving up on God. (I know the super-saints or super religious could never relate). I felt like giving up on my religion. I searched for something that explained how I was feeling. It wasn’t until the next day, and I was still feeling unsettled, that I heard a message from one of my favorite pastors that somewhat made sense of what I was feeling. Somewhat.

It wouldn’t be until yesterday morning it came to me. “Let nothing separate you from the love of God.” Don’t let the actions, a person, a situation separate you from the love of God. Don’t get so caught up in things you can’t control, people you can’t control, you become so agitated, frustrated, and angry that you give up on God. This made me see that I had become so engrossed with the “wrongness”, with the grotesque situation, I was becoming ill. I was also losing site of WHO was in control of the situation and that person IS NOT ME. I cannot control people. However, I can let my voice be heard. And there will be a time for that.

You’ll be happy to know that I am okay now and I decided to “Keep My Religion” (HA! THE REMIX). It’s my choice. It’s my freedom. I respect others choices and freedoms because it’s only right to do so.

~Nikki

What to Do When It’s a Friend or Loved One w/Anxiety or Depression Pt 7

Avoid minimizing

People face all kinds of unpleasant situations in life. Some of these challenges have a much broader or far-reaching impact than others.

It’s not for anyone else to say how upset someone should (or shouldn’t) feel about any given type of distress.

Comparing a loved one’s difficulties with problems faced by other people often happens inadvertently, as an attempt at consolation.

You might intend to cheer them up by saying things like, “It could be a lot worse,” or “At least you still have a job.” This denies them their experience and often implies they shouldn’t feel bad in the first place.

No matter how trivial you think someone’s concern is, avoid brushing it off.

Sure, maybe the lecture your best friend received from her boss wouldn’t have bothered you. But you can’t fully understand her experience or emotional response, so it’s not fair to minimize her feelings.

https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/emotional-support#avoid-minimizing

My thoughts: When I was younger and I was having these mood swings or thoughts, my parents told me to “pray about it”. I really didn’t understand the whole concept of God and prayer. As time went on, not only did I not pray about it, I did nothing about it for a very long time and it was just accepted behavior or “something is wrong with that one”.

Since I have become older and I finally started to not only get the help I need but, also to understand what it was I was dealing with, my parents seem to have grown as well. They have somewhat of a better understanding and acceptance that praying is necessary but, so is self-help (meditation, reading, exercising, etc.) and therapy.

I figured out who I could talk to and who I could not by the responses of those in my circle. If I was minimized, if anxiety and depression was minimized, if they stared at me as if I had a unicorn horn in the middle of my forehead, or the pompous, “Sorry, I don’t have anxiety. So, I don’t know what to tell you”, I never opened my mouth to those people again. When they ask me what’s wrong, I say, “Nothing.”

~Nikki

What to Do When It’s a Friend or Loved One w/Anxiety or Depression Pt 6

Build them up

Times of personal difficulty, especially ones involving rejection, can bring people down and make them doubt themselves and their abilities.

If you notice someone you care for seems to be a little low, harder on themselves than usual, or going through some self-doubt, a sincere compliment or two can go a long way toward improving their outlook.

When offering compliments, you’ll want to keep a few things in mind:

  • Keep them relevant to the current situation. For example, you might remind a friend who’s upset about a mistake at work about their usual pattern of success.
  • Choose compliments that highlight specific strengths over empty compliments that might apply to anyone. Instead of simply saying “You’re so thoughtful,” pinpoint what makes them thoughtful and share your appreciation for that skill.
  • Don’t gush. A well-placed compliment can make someone feel great. Overdoing it can make people skeptical of the compliments, or even a little uncomfortable (even when you do really mean them).

https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/emotional-support#positivity

~Nikki

Sunday Morning Coffee Musings: Big Mad

I decided to give up asking for a mate and looking for a mate. I am not happy about this but, I have a feeling God is delighted. I feel God was waiting on this decision so that we can move on. While God and all of heaven may be rejoicing, I am not. I made this decision Thursday and my mood has not been good to say the least. However, I was informed that God does not need my feelings to be in tune right now, he needs my ears. He needs me to listen. He does not need my feelings. He needs my obedience.

Ever since Thursday, the day I made the decision, God has been speaking to me in various ways. As I sat on the porch and that night, I heard, “I am here” over and over. I saw the numbers, 3333, 33, and 333 Thursday night and Friday. I listened to a prayer Friday morning and I know God was speaking to me via that prayer and certain scripture. I know God was speaking to me as I read. I know God was speaking to me as I listened to a sermon. My mood was dry. I was in a funk. I was feeling afraid, angry, and confused.

But God was not concerned with my feelings. Oh, God cares about my feelings but, was not alarmed or concerned. God didn’t need my feelings to line up with what was being said. God just needed to know I was listening. God is requesting my obedience to what I am hearing. God knows my feelings will subside and different feelings will arise.

God reminded me that this is evolution. For the most part, it will not be easy and it will not feel good but it has its rewards. In the end, I will want for nothing.

Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.

But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.

James 1:3-4, The Holy Bible (that word perfect in this text means mature, whole)

~Nikki

What to Do When It’s a Friend or Loved One w/Anxiety or Depression Pt 5

Skip the advice

You might think you’re helping someone by telling them how to fix a problem. But, generally speaking, people don’t want advice unless they request it.

Even when you know you have the right solution, don’t offer it unless they specifically ask something like, “What do you think I should do?” or “Do you know of anything that might help?”

If they’ve moved from “venting” to “talking through the problem,” a better approach often involves using reflective questions to help them find solutions on their own.

You might, for example, say something like:

  • “Have you been in a situation like this before? What helped then?”
  • “Can you think of any specific changes that might help you feel better?”

https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/emotional-support#avoid-advice

I know you know everything or maybe you know exactly what to do BUT, SKIP THE ADVICE UNLESS YOU ARE ASKED!

~Nikki

What to Do When It’s a Friend or Loved One w/Anxiety or Depression Pt. 4 You’re a Judge?

Avoid judgment

Nobody likes feeling judged. Someone facing a difficult situation as a result of their actions may have done some self-judgment already.

Regardless, when seeking support, people generally don’t want to hear a critique — even if you offer constructive criticism with the best of intentions.

When offering support, try to keep your opinions on what they should have done or where they went wrong to yourself.

Avoid asking questions they might interpret as blaming or judgmental, such as, “So what made them so mad at you?”

Even if you don’t offer any direct judgment or criticism, tone can convey a lot of emotion, so your voice might share emotions you didn’t intend to say outright.

Take care to keep notes of disapproval out of your voice by focusing on feelings like sympathy and compassion when you speak.

https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/emotional-support#avoid-judgment

~Nikki