The Nerve! Regulated or Healed?

Some people and scientists believe you can never heal the nervous system but, you can regulate it. I believe you can do both. But I believe healing the nervous requires a mindset that you can still have the memory of something without it affecting you as if it’s happening to you right now (or at least lessen the times that happen). I believe healing requires a shift into a different paradigm with alternative practices that become lifelong habits. I believe you can pair regulation and healing for a winning combination so to speak. Think of it as producing the optimal outcome.

Traumatizing actions and situations causes the nervous system to respond. And in return causes you to react. Might I remind you the situation or what happened to you are not always big things. It can be the way you were conditioned to believe and behave. These things, big or subtle, condition the nervous system. We talked about this in previous posts. The ways recommended to regulate the nervous system are:

CBT (Cognitive Behavior Therapy) CBT is a widely used therapy that helps individuals identify and change negative thought patterns and behaviors that fuel stress and anxiety. By reframing catastrophic thoughts and learning coping skills, patients can dial down the sympathetic “alarm” response.

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR): EMDR is a specialized trauma therapy that has been proven effective for PTSD. It involves recalling traumatic memories while engaging in bilateral stimulation (like guided eye movements), which helps the brain reprocess traumatic memories and integrate them properly. After successful EMDR therapy, many people report that triggers which once caused intense panic or dissociation no longer have the same power. 

Mindfulness-Based Therapies: Mindfulness practices are strongly evidence-based for stress reduction. By practicing mindfulness, individuals learn to observe their thoughts and body sensations without judgment, which can interrupt spirals of worry and calm the nervous system. Therapies like Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) incorporate mindfulness and have been shown to improve emotional regulation in people with intense mood swings.

Personally, I am with a therapist that practices CBT and on my own, I practice mindfulness. I have begun to listen to EMDR music as I sleep or binaural beats. I don’t liste every night but, as needed.

When it comes to healing the nervous system, I like to think of it as training the nervous system. These things are considered alternative and holistic. I would like to add prayer, journaling, recording your thoughts on a recording app or device and meditation to this list.

• Yoga and Gentle Movement: Yoga is a mind-body practice that combines movement, stretching, and breath control – making it ideal for nervous system regulation. Yoga has been shown to reduce cortisol and ease anxiety over time. The gentle physical postures also release muscle tension that accumulates from chronic stress​.  Learn more about mental health benefits through exercising.
• Somatic Experiencing and Body Awareness: Outside of formal therapy, you can incorporate somatic (body) practices on your own.
  • Somatic experiencing techniques: pay attention to where you feel stress in your body and then release it by shaking or relaxing your muscles.
  • Progressive muscle relaxation: systematically tense and then release each muscle group, which can activate the relaxation response. 
  • Grounding exercises:  place your feet on the floor and sense the support of the ground or use your five senses to get out of your racing mind and back into your body.

(Associated Clinic of Psychology)

I have discovered somatic yoga and I do enjoy it. It helps to understand where you are feeling discomfort and stress. This weekend I had to sit through uncomfortable moments and I also had to watch myself explode and implode and sit with the aftermath. Even as I sat through uncomfortable moments, there was an aftermath of feelings, emotions, and thoughts. One stung to badly I am still dealing with the residue of it as I type. There are moments in which nothing will soothe the uncomfortableness of hurt, pain, negative thoughts and actions and you will have to sit with them and through them until the body and mind are more pliable and things settle or wash out. What do I mean?

On my way home from the event on Saturday, I had to continue to process what happened. I tried to find a meditation or affirmation but, what I was lead to do was to turn on my recording app and speak! I did. But as I made it home and prepared dinner I could not get out of my head and body the way I was spoken to. The seemingly way people were coming against me but really coming against my perspective was a surprise to my system. I was not expecting such an uproar and in concert with the uproar and upheaval of my life was a recipe for disaster. I shut down to protect myself, to protect my mind and heart. I shut down to protect others from my verbal bullets and actions, and to conserve my precious energy. I was not going back and forth with anyone. The way I shut down now is not a defense mechanism as it was before. It is a way for me to control me and to observe me.

You know, the one who is triggered is always being asked to be responsible for their triggers. But rarely are the ones pulling the trigger asked to reshape their own behavior that causes triggers and damage. I have inflicted pain on others unknowingly and knowingly. And let me say this: I have learned that what I feel and what actually is happening don’t always align. Yet, the feeling must be acknowledge and in society we skip that part mostly. We say, I apologize for the action but, we don’t say I am sorry I made you feel that way. We can argue that we are not responsible for other people’s feelings. But if you kicking me made a bruise on my leg then you are indeed responsible for the bruise that does hurt. If you bruised my heart or mind, you do have some responsibility in the cause. BUT it is MY responsibility to tend to my wound whether you take responsibility in your part or not.

So we may have to ride out emotions and then healing solutions and clarity will come to us. I was able to find the perfect affirmations and message to help me get through the evening and the next day and today (Although, I slept terrible that night). I also gained clarity and insight about myself and that is what is helping me along with other tools. You need some tools in your toolbox of life to help you get through and grow through things. Tools and weapons of self preservation, nurturing, self love and so much more.

~Nikki