I had the displeasure of meeting a person last night and the hostility in the air was so foul we chose to leave rather than to stay and be TOLERATED. I was glad the choice was made because you could choke off the energy in the air. I am really proud of myself and how I am handling the aftermath of the situation. I was prepared because I realize the opposition I am facing being the NEW as the OLD fades to black. I realize it’s a ride to paradise, but not without turbulence! So, had some helluva turbulence last night. Still headed towards my destination.
One thing I have learned in life is to go where you are CELEBRATED and not where you are tolerated. The quote by Maya Angelou above also popped into my mind. It’s funny when you are experiencing a quote, wisdom, or the truth in real time. I won’t forget how I was made to feel. REJECTED. It’s not the first time and even though it’s a negative feeling I also know that I am ACCEPTED by so many others. Why let the negative ride? I won’t. I came home, poured my water, hugged my friend, and lit the Gardenia scented candle that reminds of my “Big Mama” and my childhood. It reminds me that I am well loved, I am beloved, I am accepted by those that matter.
I don’t know if I will master the art of suffering, but I know that I have suffered a lot in this lifetime. My suffering is not to be compared with others. I don’t believe in who suffered more because as I have said my whole life, “We all have our own personal hell(s) to live through.”
Speaking of hell, I had a migraine last night that could be considered and EF4 if it was a tornado. It was a 9 on a scale of 1-10. As I lay on the couch in darkness, a lavender candle lit, I thought to myself, “Why do I have to suffer so much? I have suffered my entire life physically and with matters of the heart. I want this suffering to be over. I deserve more peace, love, and joy the rest of my years.” And then I said to myself, “You can endure this. You can get through this. This pain will not last forever. You just have to wait it out. You’ve done everything you could in the natural and spiritual. Wait it out. Think of things that bring you peace and comfort.” It took seemingly forever, but after a migraine that started with a suddenly stiff neck around 4pm and turned into a full blown migraine around 7pm, after 11pm I could finally sit up without the feeling of severe nausea. I got up from the couch and went to bed.
When I woke up this morning I saw this quote. How true I thought. Even though I get tired of suffering, it is better that I work with the suffering, instead of against it. Working against it only makes it worse. I get upset about the migraine, start to go into why and my heart rate raises. Blood pressure goes up and the pain worsens. I go into panic when what I am doing is not working fast enough. It only makes the pain worse. I let go last night and just endured. I have decided not only to not compare my suffering to others, I have also decided to not accept that I suffer more because I am stronger than others. Hell, I get tired of being strong. I am also weak in my suffering many times in private, but it is my God that is stronger during those times. God sends angels and earthly angels to help me through my sufferings. I am thankful and grateful for them. I may never know why we suffer more than others. I accept that it just is and this is why I cherish the simple things in life as if they were the most valuable because many times those are the only things I can focus on in times of suffering.
Pray, Meditate, Coffee-nate. Yes, emotions are temporary BUT at that moment you’re feeling every bit of whatever you’re feeling. You’re struggling to overcome them means YOU’RE FIGHTING, PUSHING, PRESSING and sometimes you just have to float because you’re tired. Float or Fight but once you get through, put your big girl panties on or your big boy boxers, Hell, go commando and get back to work, life, love, living. Trust, I fought yesterday and I’m floating today. I’m working as well. These dreams are not going to come true on their own.
Show up as your higher self this morning and remain him or her throughout your day. You’re better than mean, rude, disrespectful, and petty. Why sow those seeds only to be surprised when you reap a greater harvest? Tap into your higher self through your spiritual practices & practice what you preach/know.
Wealth and riches shall be in my house.
Everything I lay my hand to succeeds and prospers
I prosper, my health prospers, my relationship prospers
The more I give the more is given to me
The more I love the more I am loved
My loyalty is returned 100 fold
Hello again blog readers! I began my day with two guided meditations from the app Insight Timer. I woke up at 4:03 and again at 5:03. I was up for a while and debating on if I should try to go back to sleep. I think the first meditation session set the tone for my second one. It was about setting your intentions for the day. She had us to repeat: “My life is good today” and she even addressed if we had resistance to this very thought.
My second session was really powerful about limited beliefs. It addressed all kinds, but what came to mind for me was a personal religious belief. I can’t say if I was formally taught this belief, but I think it was implied. This belief has held me back at times. I can’t quite decide if it’s wrong or not even a matter. In life, and in religion, sometimes we put a weight on things we shouldn’t. Sometimes, well many times, I find my religion majors in minors. But, society does this, too. We focus on the speck in others eye, instead of the log in ours. I really wanted to be free of this limiting belief. So, I sought out something from the Universe…also known as the Deep.
I will continue to eradicate this limiting belief about myself. It blocks my root, heart, and crown chakra. I know it’s crazy to hear a Christian talking about chakras. But, we are energy. Deep calls unto the deep and if you can’t understand then the deep is not calling you right now. You feel things (energy or emotions) in different parts of your body. Some say I had a “gut” feeling or I felt it in my “heart.” Some may feel it in there “head” or “forehead” and to me these things are just like chakras.
Well, after the meditation I gained a better perspective of my limiting belief and I am able to carry out my mission for the day without this negative belief about myself handed to me by religion.