What is equanimity? mental calmness, composure, and evenness of temper, especially in a difficult situation.

“she accepted both the good and the bad with equanimity“

My father with Parkinson’s went to the E.R. last Sunday and ended up staying seven days. He was released this past Sunday. Last week I was supposed to be working on finishing up three major crochet projects for my very first spring show and it’s a huge festival. They expect at least 6,000 people. It is my biggest event to participate in ever. I’d plan to have the major things done but what a whammy!

What we thought was nothing ending up being a TIA. A mini-stroke so light it barely registered and then he had an afib problem. Suddenly, he need a procedure on his heart. I was running point guard. He had a reaction to the anesthesia and then they gave him a med no elderly person, let alone a Parkinson’s patient should have. It was a nightmare. It was scary. I was sad. I was afraid. I was strong. I was there. He seems to be on the mend but, it’s rocky.

I did not complete my projects but, I probably got 60% done. I am finishing today. I was trying to avoid a meltdown like the last time that resulted in a total shutdown. I am trying now to avoid becoming anxious instead simply being nervous. I don’t know how it will go. You never know how these things will go as a vendor and I accept that. But if things do go well, one would want to have more than enough.

I will be up a few nights but, I have decided to just do the best that I can. I have decided not to overdo it. I pray my body holds up and my mind. I am going back and forth between my home and my parents. My siblings help but, it hasn’t even out yet. Not that it would ever be even. I mean everyone hasn’t received their assignments, their “things” to do. We are figuring it out as we are down two siblings.

I think I displayed some equanimity. I accepted what was happening calmly and I did the very best I could do with both things. Good things happened like a dinner for my niece who graduated high school. We went to her graduation as well. I got to see some people on her other side of the family I haven’t seen in a while. It made my heart smile in the midst of the bad. It was also good he got to the hospital in time. It was good that he had the procedure and now seems to be more like his old self. It was a battle in my heart and mind. It was no easy to keep my composure last week. Yet, it was kept.

Wishing you a very good week.

~Love, Nikki