Can We Be Friends If You Can’t Understand Rheumatoid Disease is a DIS-EASE?


When Rheumatoid Arthritis was in remission, yes, it is a disease that can go into remission, I was living it up! Going going gone! A whirlwind of endless fun and good times. My energy was unbelievable. People would say “You are always on the go” or “You walk by so fast it’s like a blur!” Working 10 hour days 5 days a week and then getting all the overtime I wanted. At one job, working 12 hour days and filling in days and nights. It was nothing. I would rest later. I was a mom that was full of energy and I thank God I had that time when my daughter was very small and RA didn’t come until here tween years. Yet, I often feel guilty that we aren’t out and about as much as I would like and often I get tired or hurt before a day of fun is over.

I’m okay with who I am and how I have to operate to preserve my body and my peace of mind. I have found that others, strangers, friends and family are not. I have pretty much embraced that RA has returned and it brought along some of it’s friends; fibromyalgia, osteoarthritis, and diabetes to ensure my demise. Epic fail indeed! I am still alive, well, and kicking. Albeit, in a different and new way that I am getting use to.

If I go home because I can’t go hard is that a strike against me? Am I the party pooper? If I need a break, a nap, or choose to chill when we are on vacation, am I boring? How so? What you eat doesn’t make me poop! So what I do shouldn’t make you constipated. What people like me want is your understanding, not your criticism. We don’t really want your sympathy, but your empathy and really I don’t need that. I prefer you to understand and keep the party going without me. True, I am the life of the party (haaaaaaa!!!!!) when I am in party and wilding out mode but, in reality the party goes on. So you don’t have to talk about us behind our backs and you can keep the rolling of the eyes, too. If you can’t adapt to the new me and yet I am the one carrying the load and I have adjusted my new crown, then I don’t think we can be friends.

Do what I do. Enjoy those moments when I am riding high. Cutting up and laughing. Enjoy those times that I can pull an all niter, when I am on the floor dancing (something I love to do) and I am hosting a party on my feet making sure you enjoy your night. Note, I will have to pay dearly for the physical things I do later and for how long and how bad is anyone’s guess. It’s a sacrifice willingly made. Google Rheumatoid Arthritis Disease, Fibromyalgia, etc.  to understand what your friend or person you love is going through and HOW it IMPACTS their life. Heck, (really wanted to say hell), talk to them and LISTEN. It impacts everyone differently.

In all your gathering of information, cures, judgments, undocumented medical advice and unsolicited advice, get an understanding by caring enough to understand the needs of a person you call a friend or family member. Know that I am always grateful and appreciative of natural remedies, exercises to help me, or even friends that call to tell me about a medication. I know that they are thinking about me.





RA BLOG: A Blow to the Jaw


I remember a dream I had before Rheumatoid Disease returned to my life. It was a dream about losing my teeth as I was floating down a tunnel. I woke up horrified and started to pray. I thought it may be related to wisdom…I was wrong.

I’ve had a few cavities in my lifetime but, I have not had as nearly as many as I have had since RA. In fact I have had two teeth crumble and cavities in my wisdom teeth. They had to be removed yesterday and let’s just say it went down hill.

I have a great dentist with an amazing staff. Upon extraction both teeth split. The dentist had to cut around the gum also to loosen the teeth. I had to have gas to help keep me calm since I have developed anxiety (or finally got a diagnosis). It was still a nerve racking ordeal. And I had a very difficult time getting the socket to clot. I had to sleep in an upright position and that was impossible to be comfortable with RA, Bursitis in the hip and fibromyalgia. I had insomnia. Pillows were sliding and my mind was all over the place. Eventually, it clotted in the wee hours of the morning. I was up changing gauze and using tea bags. ROUGH.

I am 42 and I am ashamed to open my mouth as a speaker, a friend, a mother, a family member, and potential date. I would love to have implants, and I plan to, but at $4400 out of pocket this is not possible. So, what’s my next option? A partial. It’s obtainable. And if I wait a year insurance will pay some of it. I am not replacing the wisdom teeth of course, but the other two that crumble. Twice I have experienced TMJ.

This blog is an open and honest blog. So, here it is: I think I am pretty. I love my smile and now I don’t love to smile. I am insecure about my appearance and as a single girl I feel as if dating just got even more challenging. Even if I do get the partial, how will the person I meet feel about me not having all of my teeth? They may think it’s because I didn’t take care of my teeth. I did. I flossed. I brushed. I rinsed. What else can you do? I am not even that big of a sugar addict. Though I do have my moments.

Some say there is a link to RA and gum disease, dry mouth, or Sojourns disease and some say it is not. My dentist doesn’t think it’s RA but, it could be the medication that causes dry mouth and fosters the progression of cavities. I just found out that I do have dry eyes and my Rheumy prescribed over the counter dry eye drops. Sigh…I feel that I am falling apart at 42. And yet, I still have hope that all will work out for my good.




RA Blog Week Day 4: TGF Hobbies

Birthing Autumn by Nicole Jackson 

Are hobbies important? You bet! Especially, when it comes to having an illness or disease that can zap the life and joy right out of you IF you allow it to. I don’t know if my hobbies are hobbies, so to speak. I mean since RA has taken a turn for the worse in my life I would like to think what may be considered as hobbies are really my lifelong passions that have been buried underneath the hustle of life and the bustle of a job. Most of my hobbies center around things I wish I would have done a long time ago or pursued.

Hobbies not only occupy your time, but should expand your mind and it should be something you enjoy. When I tend to my blog, one of my hobbies, I enjoy it. When I thrift and put outfits together, I enjoy it. When I find odds and ends, repaint them or repurpose them, I enjoy it. I get a great deal of satisfaction out of my hobbies. The things I don’t consider hobbies are writing (author), painting, crocheting and sewing. These things are more than hobbies to me. I view them as possible way to establish a new life since I have been left with me the remnants of my old life. Life, before RA. The core of who I am is still there. And to be honest, if RA had never came along and blew my old life out of the water, who knows when these gifts would have been reborn.




RA BLOG: Just Not Tonight


Sciatica nerve, joint pain, fibromyalgia and pinky finger falling asleep along the side of hand up to the elbow, makes for a “hades” of a night. I had to get up and get an ice pack for my back. I did get up and I made it to church. There were some hard hitting pains there, too and in RA Warrior fashion I answered “I’m fine.” The pain for me has been on off today but now it seems like I am going to have a fibro and RA flare. They both move around the body. So, as I prepare to wrap up my night and prepare for a bumpy ride, I hope you know that in those nights, midnights, early mornings, you are not alone in your suffering. Some warrior, of some illness is suffering, too. Someone is praying for the subsiding of pain, too. I pray for them, too.-Nikki

Does Weather Affect RAD(Rheumatoid Arthritis Dis-ease) and Fibromyalgia?



The hurricane is influencing the weather here in my city. I can feel it and it doesn’t feel good at all. I really need my hands today. You can’t tell me weather doesn’t affect joints or muscle. I don’t understand after all the research and patient information, discussions about humidity and barometric pressure, why doctors have yet to admit this and state it as fact. What more evidence do you need? It may not affect everyone, but it is a fact for many of us.

Yesterday, I took every unnecessary item out of my purse and I still could not put my purse on my shoulders very long. Switching it back and forth I felt like throwing it across the store. But, that may get the attention of security and brand me a “crazy lady.” I don’t want to be the talk at the table of employees of my local grocery store.

As I pray and donate to the victims in Houston, I put my pain in prospective. I think of all of the autoimmune warriors there who are experiencing a stress I pray I never have to feel. And today we pray for New Orleans. We do not want it to be Deja Vu. As for me and my unpredictable, growing pain in my hands, wrists, forearms, feet, and ankles today, I sit aside many things on my “to do” list and whatever I accomplish today will be enough.


RA Blog: What’s For Dinner?


One of my favorite, simple, and easy things to make for dinner is pizza. We all know cooking with RD (RA) or any other autoimmune disorder can be tough and almost impossible. We want it to be quick, easy, and as healthy as possible. You want it now as well if you have had a prednisone dose (most of us are extremely hungry because of this steroid for pain)!

Well, this may or may not be healthy depending on what you put on it and what type of crust you use. In the one above it’s a veggie pizza. You can buy veggies already chopped or chop your own. You can look in the fridge and just throw whatever veggies you have on the pizza. Think outside the box and take a chance with veggies like carrots and cauliflower. You can buy any type of crust you like or even make your own with cauliflower. I used a flatbread crust for mines. You can choose your sauce and add cheese. The one below is a buffalo chicken pizza topped with bacon. Pizza nights for us are usually on the weekend or it can be whenever you are just not feeling up to cooking a big meal. Add a salad and enjoy.


When making the buffalo chicken pizza, I bake a boneless chicken breast (season it with Tony’s seasoning), cut it into pieces (slices or chunks, most of the time my daughter does this because of my hands), and let it soak in a buffalo sauce. Any buffalo sauce will do. I let it soak for about 10 minutes and then I toss them onto the pizza. Baking times are usually on your crust package. Once it’s done, I top it with bacon (optional of course) immediately so it can stick to the cheese as much as possible ( I cook the bacon while I am baking the chicken).


Sunday Morning Coffee Musing:RD/Fibro Blog: I Want to Play, Too


You remember what it’s like to get sick as a child and friends are outside playing. You hear the laughter, you see them running around playing a game of hide and seek, or playing with their superheroes or dolls. You say to your mother, “Mom, I want to go outside and play, too.” She says, “I know honey. But, you can’t. You’re sick and you have to get well first.” So, there you go. Back to the window to watch your friends play. Until you feel well again.

This is exactly how I feel many times as I watch the events of family, friends, and other events that play before me live and in living color on social media. I sorely wish I were there, too. Creating memories. Laughing along. Right there in the moments captured forever. Especially, the very big moments and events. I and so many others who live with chronic pain also live with unpredictability of the symptoms. And there we are. Trapped in the house, until the symptoms subside enough for us to go out to play again with everyone else. You may be disappointed and you probably understand. But no one, and I mean no one, is more disappointed and upset or even as angry as we are. We are many times at the mercy of a body we cannot control. And, for the record, many of the other times you see us out living it up, selfies and all, we are smiling and playing through the pain. Tough guys and gals we are indeed!

It makes me happy to see others happy and enjoying life. I know I will be there in the moment soon again. When you realize it’s not about others or you and your pain all the time, but it is collectively about sharing in the joy and laughter of others lives that fills your heart whether you are there physically or through videos, listening to the stories behind each memorable moment and looking through photos. Energy is energy and sometimes you have to experience it at different frequencies. Accept and embrace. Sad that I can’t be there? Yes. But the happiness that you are there, friends and family are there, enjoying life is greater than my sad moment…that shall pass.