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Sunday Morning Coffee Musings: Too Much or Too Soon

Friday I decided to have a really good cheeseburger and fries combo with a diet coke for a late lunch. This was suppose to be it until dinner with the exception of a 15g snack. After the meal I was still thirsty. I was still a little hungry. That’s not a problem because I could have chosen something else to eat but, it needed to be healthy. I didn’t do that. I CHOSE some corn chips and a bottle of ginger green tea. That bottle of ginger green tea has a serving for 3 and guess what? I drank it all!!!

I am diabetic. In about an hour I began to feel really bad. I checked my blood sugar and WHOA! I’d never seen it that high before! I didn’t panic. I knew what to do. But boy, was I miserable for the next few hours. I admit I also had too many corn chips…and dip. WHY DID I DO THIS?

You may say it was a lack of self control. I think that’s a part of the puzzle. However, I took a closer look and I examined how I was feeling. I was feeling anxious. I was thinking about the vacation I had coming up and if things would be go well. I was thinking about the guy I am dating and if I’d made the wrong choice inviting him along.

I also wanted those chips and I wanted all of the tea. It was a deliberate choice and decision. I kind of felt like I deserved to have it. I mean after all, my thoughts at that time were on “Why can’t I have what I want in this life? I want what I want now. It’s taking so long to get there.” And so and so forth. FOOD can sometimes be a way to achieve the satisfaction you are lacking at times in life. I wanted to feel satisfaction that I was making the right decisions and that all was going to work out. I went the quick but, temporary route. I took a short cut with consequences.

Take a look at what happens when you have what you want TOO SOON or TOO MUCH? It can make you ill. It can be a disaster. It can not last. In life, we want what we want, and we often want it now. We may feel we have waited long enough and we deserve it. This type of thinking can lead us to make rash decisions and choices. It will lead to frustration and ultimately come to an end. If only I would have had the proper portion at that time. If only I would have gotten control of my emotions or thoughts and then I would have had control of my ACTIONS (DECISIONS). I would have been in a better frame of mind.

I don’t know what it is you want. I don’t know if you are tired of waiting on it to manifest. I don’t know if you don’t have the drive to make it happen and the proper patience as it happens. I don’t know if you are worried or have anxious thoughts. I do know that having what you want when it’s not time for it is not a good thing. I also know that too much of something, that you do want, could become a problem. And we circle back around to TIMING, BALANCE, PRAYER and PATIENCE. But might I add for those of us that struggle with anxiety, PAUSE and ask, WHAT AM I FEELING? WHY? and answer HONESTLY. Then do what you need to do to calm those thoughts and feelings in the least destructive way. Seek out therapeutic methods like exercise, something creative, something relaxing that won’t have a negative impact on you later.

~Nikki

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Clarity Calling

My spirit will not let up on “clarity”. It is calling me into clarity as of late August and into September. I have learned to NOT ignore this. So, I dive in wholeheartedly with most pulls of my spirit by the Spirit. Although, sometimes, I must admit I unwillingly give in.

  • Get quiet. Meditate.
  • Pay attention to the SIGNS. If you are a person like me that loves “signs and wonders” and is interested in symbolism (these things are Biblical as well FYI), then PAY ATTENTION to what stands out to you. I saw a Cooper’s Hawk perched on my neighbor’s mailbox in direct sight. We’ll talk about that Sunday but, look up what things mean that capture your attention.
  • In this journey of clarity, clouds will roll away and clouds will roll back in like the weather pattern. When Spirit dropped this in my Spirit, I was like “Oh, no. How long will this journey last?” Let’s get this over with is my thoughts. But, Spirit explained by bringing into my remembrance that this is LIFE and this CLARITY leg of the journey is to prepare me to SEE and understand better myself and others. So, when clouds, the cloudy mental moments come, I will understand where the confusion, anxiety, or depression is coming from. I will be able to navigate the mental fog BETTER. So this is TRAINING is necessary for my growth and my journey. Still, “ugh. okay.”
  • The process of clarity are keys to clarity. What’s the process? Well, you will find your process through therapy, hearing directly from Spirit, or GOOGLE. Yes, really. Google Gaining clarity and what resonates with you, go for it. For me thus far, it’s to get quiet. Guided meditation on clarity. PRAYER and after prayer, LISTEN for a response and be AWARE of any SIGNS sent my way. Also, do something I love or something that brings me joy and peace while I wait for the “clouds to roll away.”
  • And PATIENCE is required in the clarity process. I used to tell people, “I only have patience with the elderly and children.” I am much better NOW and getting better with being patient with others and myself. So, you will have to be patient as the cloudiness rolls to clarity.
  • Clarity gives insight to YOU, the situation, the people involved and helps you to construct a plan or a response. It’s your next move. Even if that move is to do nothing or let it go.

This is all I have learned in this “Clarity Course” so far. I am currently putting some of these things into practice.

What have you learned about clarity? How do you access clarity when your mind is cloudy or there is confusion in your life?

“In all your ways (decisions, steps, actions) acknowledge Him (see if what you are about to do is alignment with God, Higher Power, the Universe, Your True SPIRIT) and He shall direct (guide you) YOUR path.” – Proverbs 3:6, The Bible

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You Already Know

Intuition can be described as a “knowing” or a “feeling”. Sometimes you “just know” and sometimes your body gives you a “feeling”. I don’t want to dive too deep into intuition, but I am here today to say a few things to us.

Sometimes we search for advice when we already KNOW the answer. Even if we get advice contrary to what we “know” deep down inside or how we “feel” about the situation, the answer will remain that which you ALREADY KNOW. You can’t (I mean you can but…) talk yourself into it or out of it, it will still be what you already know. You can go in circles asking friends and wise counsel. You can do all of the things such as pray, meditate, wait, listen, search and research but, when you know, you know. And yes, you should do those things to a certain extent except for the RUNNING YOURSELF in circles, turning the situation over and over in your mind. It’s not good for you mental health. It creates stress. Why do we do that? Seek and seek and seek? I believe it’s because we don’t want to be wrong. We don’t want to be right. We don’t want to mess up. However, we have to make a decision sooner or later or life will make the decision for us. It is far better that you make the decision within a reasonable time frame.

Yes, we will wrestle with some decisions in life because some decisions are more complex and have lasting effects. It’s okay to be right about something and it’s okay to be wrong. I am learning to TRUST my intuition, forgive myself if I make the wrong move or decision, and to listen more to the KNOWING and the FEELING.

Recently, I met a nice guy that seemed to check most of my boxes but, each time he did or said certain things, it didn’t make me “feel” good. I would cringe. It was off putting. I tried to ignore it and we talked about it but, the off putting feeling was still there. There was nothing wrong with him per se, it was that our personalities did not click. It’s just that simple but, I began to think TOO MUCH and that made it more complex. How important is it that personalities match or compliment each other at least? What if I don’t find those qualities in him I like in someone else? Am I being superficial or shallow?

I was beginning to think people were thinking I wanted someone perfect. I know that’s not true because I have accepted imperfection and I know it comes with dating, relationships, friendships, and marriage. As I said to one friend, “It’s not about perfection. It’s about who’s the mature choice for me.” So what was my problem in listening to the KNOWING and adhering to the FEELINGS? I wanted to be wrong. So, I held on longer than I should have. I asked around. I prayed, meditated, listened…REPEATEDLY getting the same answers. I asked anyone that would listen, and got conflicting information and confirmation. I created CONFUSION. I also didn’t want to be right because I thought it meant, “You can’t seem to get it right when it comes to men, AGAIN.” It’s like all of the circling around the KNOWING and FEELINGS creates a centripetal force that will have you going no where. But, oh when it stops (when you are forced to make a choice or life chooses for you) you’ll be flung across the room! BAM!

The Divine will give you all the confirmation you need but, only for so long. Trust the KNOWING. The FEELING. Be willing to be wrong, again or sometimes. Be willing to be right even if it’s not what you wanted to be right about. The ability to do either is part of vulnerability. Vulnerability is being willing to feel the depth of being. It’s also a wonderful teacher.

In her new book, Daring Greatly, Brené Brown describes vulnerability as “uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure.” It’s that unstable feeling we get when we step out of our comfort zone or do something that forces us to loosen control.

~Nikki

PS: YOU ALREADY KNOW.

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Friday’s Flight & Fright

You’re still a rose

Guess what? I had a healthy breakfast. I prayed, meditated, affirmations. My mood still hasn’t stabilized. I ate chocolate chocolate chip cookies and milk. My snack for tonight so, I can’t have that tonight again. 😩 What’s wrong Nicole? What’s the matter, Pooh Bear( family Nickname…don’t you call me this lol)?
I’m frustrated. Why? Because there is too much to do, too much happening in my world and the world, I can’t keep up, and I can’t seem to get all of what I want in a man and things (people, men) keep showing up that are almost what I desire. I’m sure I have somethingto do with all of this. Plus, another trip coming up and while I’m cool with going as the fabulous third wheel, would be nice…(stares in singlehood).
Listens.
1. Take him or leave him, you’re going to have a wonderful time.

2. You don’t have to accept who shows up, remember? And if you choose “almost” you’ll “almost” be satisfied. Plus, I’ve given you several signs that this is not the time for a relationship. Remember? Either relax and enjoy the company or enjoy your own company. Breathe deep.

3. Yes. You have something to do with most of this but, not all of this. You have nothing to do with the events you have no control over like Afghanistan and the passing of your godmother. Your part, to pray, was and is done perfectly.

4. You can organize. You have lacked discipline. It’s true. You have procrastinated. It’s true. Why? You have been ill. You have not wanted the responsibility of some things. You haven’t enjoyed a particular environment. You haven’t done the ONE major life thing because of fear and THIS is what is clouding your mind. If you want clarity to come easily, DO THAT FEARFUL THING.

5. Make no commitment to any man right now. I repeat, it is not time for a relationship. It is time for your soul’s purpose.

6. Take one step. I’ll take two. Move towards destiny and I’ll create waves of manifestations. We are a team.

I shall be with you always. Even until the ends of the earth.

~Nikki

PS: Stop saying yes out of obligation to things that I’ve disconnected you from. Stop inserting your help where you have not been lead to help. You cannot help everyone or every cause. You can’t sign up for every thing and then say you don’t have time for your own soul purpose, dreams, goals, duties. That’s fear. Explore that fear of success. You can’t want and not want success. Love, Spirit. 💋

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August’s Energy Commands Some GUSTO

gus·to/ˈɡəstō/noun

  1. enjoyment or vigor in doing something; zest

Do you have the “gusto” for August? I sure hope so because it seems to be starting off with fireworks or fire and work. I mentioned in Sunday’s blog, Wrong, But Right (https://nikkisconfettilife.com/2021/08/02/sunday-morning-coffee-musings-wrong-but-right/), how my day started in chaos. One thing after another. I have seen post after post since Sunday of other people “going through it” as their day unravels. Well, what does the energy of August bring us other than challenges? Let’s see!

August is a 4 energy and 2021 is a 5 energy. It would take some time to explain this. So, if you are new to this you may have to do your own research. If you are wise, you know how to tap into what is presented before you and use it as a guide with your chosen religion or spirituality. Go!

August brings:

  • Constructive freedom.
  • There is cause and effect. You can get out of the effect if you find and address the cause. Get to the root.
  • Amp up the energy and get things done. It’s August for crying out loud. It’s time to muster up the energy (or just go to bed at a decent time and slack off social media) and do what needs to be done.
  • Boost your immune system starting now.
  • It’s all about hard work this month BUT, DO NOT FORGET TO PLAY! Nobody and no body is good when it reaches burn out. Take care of your mental and emotional well being!
  • Speaking of emotions, a 4 energy will have you to close off emotionally. It can want to shut down and shut out because of all the to do’s and things going on in our lives and the world. Instead, open up. Be honest about what you want, what you don’t want, who you want, and who you don’t want. Be clear. Don’t say yes when you mean no and reverse.
  • The energy is all about rules and regulations but, you will need to be flexible.
  • Get clear and clear things up and clear things out of the way. In every way. Toss it. Donate it. Got to therapy about it. Forgive. Talk about it. Apologize. Change your behavior.
  • Think outside the box.
  • Audit your life.
  • Expansion. Where do you need to expand? Your thinking? Your heart? Your ideals and ideas?
  • Prioritize. Eliminate things, relationships, etc. that are wasting your time, effort, and energy. Your time, effort, and energy can go to where it’s needed. You’ve spent long enough. Reevaluate and focus on what and who really matters. Look around. There are people that love and care about you. Look around. Your dreams are right where you left them. Get to it.

I think you can find yourself somewhere in this list or perhaps something on this list will come to your mind when needed.

~Nikki

Hello August. Enjoy.

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Sunday Morning Coffee Musings: There Comes A Time Again and Again

My granddad holding my daughter. A precious memory.

“There comes a time” and that time will come again and again in your life if you choose to GROW and CHANGE. It will also come whether you choose to accept things or not. There comes a time when loved ones transition and transform. You either accept it or not or fall in between. That time will come again and again. There comes a time, you may have your heart broken or break a heart. That time comes again and again for some.

I have chosen to grow, develop my higher self until I choose to leave the Earth school, and to change for my good. My current “there comes a time again and again” is the fact that I am becoming aware of what a love for yourself and others can do when it comes to choosing or accepting a mate. When you embody love, or even attempt to embody a deep love for self and others, it’s difficult to accept unloving behavior in your own personal space. Therefore, if it’s not love, if it’s not love reciprocated, in your own personal space, it falls away. I’m speaking of a romantic love. Eros.

When you understand the importance and the depth of equally yoked, of being in synch, being on the same page or at least in the same book, it’s almost impossible to accept or remain in a relationship that is vastly a contrast to what love looks and feels like for you. For me, it’s not perfect but, it damn sure isn’t habitual cheating and lying. It definitely isn’t 80% hell and 20% peace. It isn’t stale or a settling. There is no chase for me but, a meeting up. A linking of energy and chemistry. It can happen quickly or it can happen over time. I like a steady pace. There is acceptance and likeness when it comes to spirituality and religion. There is an atmosphere of “team work” and making dreams work. There are disagreements to be expected but, no one is ready to jump ship for rain or storms. And prayerfully, the storms are far, few, and in between.

I’m still in this evolving, “there comes a time again and again” when it comes to love and I am starting to think (Okay. I know.) it’s a HUGE part of my journey and evolution. Some days I willingly accept the assignment and other days, I rebel.

~Nikki

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Sunday Morning Coffee Musings: Fragile

It’s not so funny how you think that what you and another person have is solid but, it turns out to be quite fragile. What’s really going on here I asked myself (and God) until I received an answer. Make it make sense. The simple answer is you may have been way more invested in it, the friendship, relationship, partnership than they were. It may have been layered with somewhat equal exchanges but the EMOTIONAL investment for you was much greater. Therefore, you feel a bigger let down and may have difficulty “wrapping your head around” their ability to move on as if it was nothing. I’m not saying they didn’t care. I am saying it was just not as much as you did. The bond was only on your end and your “deep” connection was more than likely a one way thing.

~Nikki

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Sunday Morning Coffee Musings: A Total Gut Job

I watch a great deal of HGTV and I know what it means when they say, “It’s going to be a total “gut job” for this room. It means heavy demo. Everything must go. It means this will cost much more money than they estimated. The definition? It means completely removing everything in a building down to the studs and can include removing the floors and all interior walls as well.

Imagine a gut job being done on you. Completely removing everything inside of your being down to the (heart, mind, spirit) soul and can include removing polluted belief systems and people, and all interior negative thoughts or energy. Gut jobs are a lot of WORK. They go into the space and tear it down with sledge hammers, jack hammers, drills, and all sorts of tools. It takes manpower to get the job done. It’s noisy and messy and sometimes dangerous. You may find rot and mold in the walls and underneath the floors. Sometimes, old wiring is bad or configured wrong and not up to code.

So what about us? What about all of the things that are in us that need to be uncovered and removed. You know they say Jesus of Nazareth was a carpenter so this should sit well with some Christians as well as those that claim spirituality (I claim them both. Don’t worry. God and I are at peace with this choice.) So, I found in the Bible, like you may find in other books, scriptures about removing “factious” people from your life after the first and second warning. (Titus 3:10). WOW. This is exactly what has unfolded before me. I am on the second warning and I have decided to remove it completely. A total gut job. Ouch!

But this goes for any factious (divided, schismatic, contentious, argumentative, quarreling, tumultuous, rebellious, seditious) person. You would be wise to remove them with the first and second warning (if you missed it the first time).

Do you think a spiritual and mental gut job feels good? No. It doesn’t. But it’s necessary for the remodel. It’s necessary for the NEW. The book of Ezekiel talks about God, the Creator removing detestable things and abominations from the people of Israel. I’d like for you to see this as some of the old, antiquated, biased and prejudice belief systems you have being removed. Demo is in full effect and here we run into rot and mold. Hazmat suit up and allow spirit to remove by guiding your thinking into current times. It’s time to gain a greater perspective with all of the information we have available to us now.

It’s all coming down and being torn apart. Nothing but the bare bones will be left. Breathe. It will get you through the demolition and the installation of the new. The Creator will bring your inner being up to code. But, you are the manpower. You have to get it done with the power of choice. You get it done with prayer and some deep meditation. You get it done with exercise. I really prefer yoga or tai chi. While walking you can focus on nature. Nature is healing. You get it done with wise counsel and a therapist. Yes sit and ma’am. I said therapist. Pretty soon, you will be whole with a completely new outlook on life, love, dreams, and relationships. Your path will be brighter and clearer. And the reveal will be stunning! The before and after you will amaze the world and you may even shock your self!

~Nikki

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Oh Yeah, In March I Had a Birthday

Although March was a rocky road, I did enjoy my birthday month when I was with friends. I wasn’t in the mood to do all of the things I wanted to do, neither did I have the energy or finances but, as usual I made the best of it and I remain grateful for all that God has provided and will provide.

Oh, yeah. I am 46 and loving it!

~Nikki

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Sunday Morning Coffee Musings: Trusting Yourself

I accept the challenge to grow in this life. That being said it’s not always easy or simple. Apparently, it’s difficult letting God work out the LOGISTICS because I “secretly” am afraid that it won’t work out to my vision and what I hold deep in my heart. There…I said it. And I LOVE BEING HONEST WITH YOU ABOUT LIFE, THE JOURNEY, THE PROCESS. I have to share my struggles to encourage you, shed light, to free myself, and to…GROW and to help us. So this secret fear is rooted in FEAR itself and the lack of TRUST. FEAR of abandonment. Fear of making the wrong choice again. Trust God? Ok. Trust myself concerning this particular situation…uh given my track record, not so much. I’M GOING TO WORK THAT OUT TODAY. THAT’S A DEEPER WAY OF WORKING OUT YOUR OWN SALVATION (FREEDOM).

Affirmations to get me through the day (from my friend Alicia):

I love you, God.

I trust you, God.

I thank you, God.

~Nikki