Notes from Orange Beach: I have regrets. I regret inviting my guest.
Notes from Orange Beach: Every sunrise and sunset are different and it never gets old.
Notes from Orange Beach: Stingrays and their symbology are me. The Stingray spirit animal symbolizes maneuverability. … The Stingray meaning speaks about sensitivity, and the need to blend into your environment create peace and harmony. You don’t always need to react to situations, because sometimes it’s better to step back and not engage.
Receiving a surprise bouquet of flowers for Valentine’s Day felt amazing
Witnessing the death of my oldest brother was devasting and heart wrenching. At that moment what did I feel? I felt that it was over. I felt that it was his will because he was suffering tremendously. Lesson: His will, the will of the person ill, be done and not my will.
Grief can severely affect others to the point it becomes unhealthy. It becomes an obsession. It’s best to go to grief counseling if it gets to this point.
While we all experience grief in different ways, the burden is easier to carry when you understand death. We are spirits. We are not our bodies.
I am only empowered in the NOW. Not in the past or not in the future.
Jealousy ruins everything. Including the person, it resides in.
People will back wrong doing and support unholiness because it’s family.
The actual saying is “the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb”. The meaning of this saying is actually the opposite of the way we use it. The saying actually means that bonds that you’ve made by choice are more important than the people that you are bound to by the water of the womb.
Can’t rush time or growth. It takes time to grow all though you may get the water (lesson) today.
Be quiet. Go to or create quiet spaces and just sit there and look intelligent or stupid. Quiet the mind. Be quiet and work. Less responding and more observation.
Have a good relationship with the people you say you love. And remember, that relationship doesn’t have to look like other people’s love. They may give more money and you may give more time. They may give better gifts and you may give more thoughtful gifts. They may call every day and you may show up to run errands for them. It doesn’t have to look like their love language. You may have boundaries with that person and others may have none.
Noisy, chaotic, toxic, loud, high energy is not a beautiful relationship to me. I like peace. I like calm and I have to that kind of environment. I like spiritual guy. I like a guy with some class and manners. I don’t mind the good ol’ country boy. I just need him to be able to dress up and mix in any environment.
Too much going on in your life can cause a stagnation in creativity. My flow was “damned” up by things happening around me and directly to me. Most of the year I was uninspired.
A salt body scrub (lemon, mint, or peppermint) can help you wash away physical connections. A good chakra cleanse or rinse continues the purging of a person and help you break all ties. It can help you get rid of the remnants. Christians have a hard time understanding this but, it’s like fasting or eating certain things to help the body purge. Basically, we are energy and the heart is energy, the mind is energy, etc. When Christians say they felt it in their “spirit” or in the “belly” it’s an energy. You can feel good and negative energy. I don’t care what your religion is.
Whomever my twin flame, soul mate is, I know I am loved deeply and eternally.
28 days no contact with a person is a detox. You can jumpstart your healing this way.
Keep making room for the RIGHT person until you no longer have to make room for them. In other words, when they show up you won’t have to make room for them. They will fit and you can grow together. Sometimes, at different rates. Oh, well. It’s never going to be perfect but, it darn sure has no resemblance of hell or purgatory.
For the next twelve days I will be sharing SOME of my many lessons and reflections from 2021. Without further delay, let’s jump right into it.
I don’t why I had to go through the agony and the turmoil to become a homeowner but, I did go through it. It was hell. I would have appreciated it even if was easy to get because of the things I went through in some of the rentals. Nevertheless, I am now a homeowner. I really had to dig deep into faith and it wasn’t an unfamiliar process because I’ve had to dig deep into my faith and stand firm in it many times. Here I sit victoriously typing this in my own home.
It’s important to have a strong mind. Some naturally have it and the rest of develop it through life’s experience. However, it happens, you really need a strong mind in this life.
It’s okay to take a day and feel whatever you are feeling to try to get through it. Understand it.
Some conversations and relationships must die. How long, how many years are you going to talk about it or deal with the person? Life is too long for rehashing the past at every holiday dinner, every time you see the person, or when you are in a bad mood because of a bad day. Or just because you THINK of it. And life is too long to drag a person through your whole life that obviously shouldn’t be in your life.
I found out on my nature walk that a well-known rapper, from my city was murdered today in my city and not too far from my house. Breathe (saying to myself). I am really saddened and angry concerning his death because of what he does for the city and in particular his community. I am really saddened by the loss of life and violence in my hometown. There have been 5 murders in this city spanning several hours. I feel angry that people, PEOPLE do not care about life. I feel sad for friends and family of the victims. Sometimes, I feel fear when I leave my home and when I am in my home. I have to remind myself, first the natural then the spiritual. First, do my duty to ensure safety and to remember I am protected by my Creator. I ALWAYS pray for safety.
People are seemingly out of control as they use the city streets and highways as race tracks. They rob, break in, and murder over the most insane things. I dare say, where is the march for CRIME and VIOLENCE PERIOD. Yes, there can be two, three, four dynamics to “protests” and “marches” but, what I want to figure out is HOW do you get people to change their hearts? It’s a collective effort and not a “religious” or “governmental” effort only.
Breathe, Nikki.
I walked nature’s path today with so many conflicting thoughts and emotions but, as I observed nature itself, I felt a sense of “peace that surpasses (all of my) understanding” of the time I am alive in. “What a time to be alive!” my dad said last year in the middle of a pandemic. I wondered why he said that. He explained it’s a time for faith and hope. I thought about that on my walk. “What a time to be alive!” A time to offer hope, encouragement, solutions, and change.
Friday I decided to have a really good cheeseburger and fries combo with a diet coke for a late lunch. This was suppose to be it until dinner with the exception of a 15g snack. After the meal I was still thirsty. I was still a little hungry. That’s not a problem because I could have chosen something else to eat but, it needed to be healthy. I didn’t do that. I CHOSE some corn chips and a bottle of ginger green tea. That bottle of ginger green tea has a serving for 3 and guess what? I drank it all!!!
I am diabetic. In about an hour I began to feel really bad. I checked my blood sugar and WHOA! I’d never seen it that high before! I didn’t panic. I knew what to do. But boy, was I miserable for the next few hours. I admit I also had too many corn chips…and dip. WHY DID I DO THIS?
You may say it was a lack of self control. I think that’s a part of the puzzle. However, I took a closer look and I examined how I was feeling. I was feeling anxious. I was thinking about the vacation I had coming up and if things would be go well. I was thinking about the guy I am dating and if I’d made the wrong choice inviting him along.
I also wanted those chips and I wanted all of the tea. It was a deliberate choice and decision. I kind of felt like I deserved to have it. I mean after all, my thoughts at that time were on “Why can’t I have what I want in this life? I want what I want now. It’s taking so long to get there.” And so and so forth. FOOD can sometimes be a way to achieve the satisfaction you are lacking at times in life. I wanted to feel satisfaction that I was making the right decisions and that all was going to work out. I went the quick but, temporary route. I took a short cut with consequences.
Take a look at what happens when you have what you want TOO SOON or TOO MUCH? It can make you ill. It can be a disaster. It can not last. In life, we want what we want, and we often want it now. We may feel we have waited long enough and we deserve it. This type of thinking can lead us to make rash decisions and choices. It will lead to frustration and ultimately come to an end. If only I would have had the proper portion at that time. If only I would have gotten control of my emotions or thoughts and then I would have had control of my ACTIONS (DECISIONS). I would have been in a better frame of mind.
I don’t know what it is you want. I don’t know if you are tired of waiting on it to manifest. I don’t know if you don’t have the drive to make it happen and the proper patience as it happens. I don’t know if you are worried or have anxious thoughts. I do know that having what you want when it’s not time for it is not a good thing. I also know that too much of something, that you do want, could become a problem. And we circle back around to TIMING, BALANCE, PRAYER and PATIENCE. But might I add for those of us that struggle with anxiety, PAUSE and ask, WHAT AM I FEELING? WHY? and answer HONESTLY. Then do what you need to do to calm those thoughts and feelings in the least destructive way. Seek out therapeutic methods like exercise, something creative, something relaxing that won’t have a negative impact on you later.
My spirit will not let up on “clarity”. It is calling me into clarity as of late August and into September. I have learned to NOT ignore this. So, I dive in wholeheartedly with most pulls of my spirit by the Spirit. Although, sometimes, I must admit I unwillingly give in.
Get quiet. Meditate.
Pay attention to the SIGNS. If you are a person like me that loves “signs and wonders” and is interested in symbolism (these things are Biblical as well FYI), then PAY ATTENTION to what stands out to you. I saw a Cooper’s Hawk perched on my neighbor’s mailbox in direct sight. We’ll talk about that Sunday but, look up what things mean that capture your attention.
In this journey of clarity, clouds will roll away and clouds will roll back in like the weather pattern. When Spirit dropped this in my Spirit, I was like “Oh, no. How long will this journey last?” Let’s get this over with is my thoughts. But, Spirit explained by bringing into my remembrance that this is LIFE and this CLARITY leg of the journey is to prepare me to SEE and understand better myself and others. So, when clouds, the cloudy mental moments come, I will understand where the confusion, anxiety, or depression is coming from. I will be able to navigate the mental fog BETTER. So this is TRAINING is necessary for my growth and my journey. Still, “ugh. okay.”
The process of clarity are keys to clarity. What’s the process? Well, you will find your process through therapy, hearing directly from Spirit, or GOOGLE. Yes, really. Google Gaining clarity and what resonates with you, go for it. For me thus far, it’s to get quiet. Guided meditation on clarity. PRAYER and after prayer, LISTEN for a response and be AWARE of any SIGNS sent my way. Also, do something I love or something that brings me joy and peace while I wait for the “clouds to roll away.”
And PATIENCE is required in the clarity process. I used to tell people, “I only have patience with the elderly and children.” I am much better NOW and getting better with being patient with others and myself. So, you will have to be patient as the cloudiness rolls to clarity.
Clarity gives insight to YOU, the situation, the people involved and helps you to construct a plan or a response. It’s your next move. Even if that move is to do nothing or let it go.
This is all I have learned in this “Clarity Course” so far. I am currently putting some of these things into practice.
What have you learned about clarity? How do you access clarity when your mind is cloudy or there is confusion in your life?
“In all your ways (decisions, steps, actions) acknowledge Him (see if what you are about to do is alignment with God, Higher Power, the Universe, Your True SPIRIT) and He shall direct (guide you) YOUR path.” – Proverbs 3:6, The Bible
Intuition can be described as a “knowing” or a “feeling”. Sometimes you “just know” and sometimes your body gives you a “feeling”. I don’t want to dive too deep into intuition, but I am here today to say a few things to us.
Sometimes we search for advice when we already KNOW the answer. Even if we get advice contrary to what we “know” deep down inside or how we “feel” about the situation, the answer will remain that which you ALREADY KNOW. You can’t (I mean you can but…) talk yourself into it or out of it, it will still be what you already know. You can go in circles asking friends and wise counsel. You can do all of the things such as pray, meditate, wait, listen, search and research but, when you know, you know. And yes, you should do those things to a certain extent except for the RUNNING YOURSELF in circles, turning the situation over and over in your mind. It’s not good for you mental health. It creates stress. Why do we do that? Seek and seek and seek? I believe it’s because we don’t want to be wrong. We don’t want to be right. We don’t want to mess up. However, we have to make a decision sooner or later or life will make the decision for us. It is far better that you make the decision within a reasonable time frame.
Yes, we will wrestle with some decisions in life because some decisions are more complex and have lasting effects. It’s okay to be right about something and it’s okay to be wrong. I am learning to TRUST my intuition, forgive myself if I make the wrong move or decision, and to listen more to the KNOWING and the FEELING.
Recently, I met a nice guy that seemed to check most of my boxes but, each time he did or said certain things, it didn’t make me “feel” good. I would cringe. It was off putting. I tried to ignore it and we talked about it but, the off putting feeling was still there. There was nothing wrong with him per se, it was that our personalities did not click. It’s just that simple but, I began to think TOO MUCH and that made it more complex. How important is it that personalities match or compliment each other at least? What if I don’t find those qualities in him I like in someone else? Am I being superficial or shallow?
I was beginning to think people were thinking I wanted someone perfect. I know that’s not true because I have accepted imperfection and I know it comes with dating, relationships, friendships, and marriage. As I said to one friend, “It’s not about perfection. It’s about who’s the mature choice for me.” So what was my problem in listening to the KNOWING and adhering to the FEELINGS? I wanted to be wrong. So, I held on longer than I should have. I asked around. I prayed, meditated, listened…REPEATEDLY getting the same answers. I asked anyone that would listen, and got conflicting information and confirmation. I created CONFUSION. I also didn’t want to be right because I thought it meant, “You can’t seem to get it right when it comes to men, AGAIN.” It’s like all of the circling around the KNOWING and FEELINGS creates a centripetal force that will have you going no where. But, oh when it stops (when you are forced to make a choice or life chooses for you) you’ll be flung across the room! BAM!
The Divine will give you all the confirmation you need but, only for so long. Trust the KNOWING. The FEELING. Be willing to be wrong, again or sometimes. Be willing to be right even if it’s not what you wanted to be right about. The ability to do either is part of vulnerability. Vulnerability is being willing to feel the depth of being. It’s also a wonderful teacher.
In her new book, Daring Greatly, Brené Brown describes vulnerability as “uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure.” It’s that unstable feeling we get when we step out of our comfort zone or do something that forces us to loosen control.
Nikki's Confetti Life 