June Exploration: Better to Vent Than Repent

Here I am on my mini sabbatical, my month of “no thank you” and I was tested twice today. One in a major way and the other in a minor way. It’s weird because I held my peace in both but I vented heavily outloud to myself and my daughter in the major one. I had to call on Jesus to help work things out and help me to be okay with whatever the outcome would be. It worked out. But it highlighted more of the character, morals, and values of the person involved. I don’t know why I need more highlights because I already know how this person is. And in real time as I just typed that, it came to me WHY I need to know or will receive more highlights about this person’s mindset. It is because it’s not about them per se. It is about ME and my REACTIONS verses my RESPONSES.

I wanted to say all of the things I said in my rant and rave but, I held my peace. It wasn’t perfect because I simply hung up the phone. That wasn’t nice. However, that is something maybe grace and mercy can cover. Something I can work on not doing. It’s the equivalent of me going silent in person so that I can control my next response or the reaction trying to rise within me. It’s how I operate. I think I did a fantastic job not reacting to this major thing.

This minor thing? It irritated me. I researched and followed the proper steps to make a complaint. I also put my neighborhood watch group on alert. There. It’s finished for now. We remain vigilant in our neighborhood.

It’s been a spectacular day. I paid bills. Thank God for that. I worked in my yard for an hour as exercise and I will definitely have to soak and take a pain med as I feel my joints aching and fibromyalgia flaring. One day, I hope to have someone professionally take care of my yard as far as maintaining it. I have a friend who cuts and edges it and I am thankful for him.

~Nikki