Sunday Morning Coffee Musings: A Note to Those Dating/Detachment

I’ve been working on understanding the detachment and the power it can give one to move on, to heal, and to put things in perspective. We often think of detaching as painful or cold but, not really powerful or healing. It can be painful, cold, uncomfortable and all of those things but, that’s just the first step. The first step is awareness (Ah, I need to detach from this). The next step is I feel this. I don’t like this. This is making me uncomfortable. Then you move yourself to the next step, “What is this teaching me? What is this saying to me about them/it and me?” It could be letting go and moving on. It could be, “Hey, you need some healing work” or “You have just sharpened your intuition for the next time something like this comes into your space.”

All of that above works for dating maturely. Especially, if you are the only healed or mature adult in the room. The power of detaching yourself from the outcome or unpleasant experiences keeps your energy field, your aurora clear from the debris of disappointments. I used this over the weekend. It’s refreshing and a sign of growth when you can see things for what they are and see people for who they are. Maya Angelou said it best, “When people show you who they are, believe them.” And I say, after you do that, “govern yourself accordingly.” That is your task.

You can’t control other people’s reactions or responses or actions. You shouldn’t have to force, chase, put in more effort than they are. It should be mutual. And when it’s not, you have the power to detach. I have been duped by the best of them and here I am still standing tall, free from the debris of disappointment. I can’t and you shouldn’t, keep what doesn’t serve you or deserve you. You need to be as clear as possible in your energy because when the one comes along that is clear in their energy, serving good intentions along with great action, you won’t be stuck in the muck of the ill feelings of what didn’t work out.

~Nikki

“Attachment is the great fabricator of illusions; reality can be obtained only by someone who is detached. ”
― Simone Weil

“Take any emotion—love for a woman, or grief for a loved one, or what I’m going through, fear and pain from a deadly illness. If you hold back on the emotions—if you don’t allow yourself to go all the way through them—you can never get to being detached, you’re too busy being afraid. You’re afraid of the pain, you’re afraid of the grief. You’re afraid of the vulnerability that loving entails. “But by throwing yourself into these emotions, by allowing yourself to dive in, all the way, over your head even, you experience them fully and completely. You know what pain is. You know what love is. You know what grief is. And only then can you say, ‘All right. I have experienced that emotion. I recognize that emotion. Now I need to detach from that emotion for a moment’.”
― Mitch Albom, Tuesdays with Morrie: An Old Man, a Young Man, and Life’s Greatest Lesson

“Detachment does not that you should own nothing. But instead that nothing should own you.” —Energy Yoga

“Detachment is a direct path to inner peace.” —Energy Yoga

“Detachment is not indifference. It is the prerequisite for effective involvement.” —Mahatma Gandhi via Medium

• “Sometimes you have to walk away from people, not because you don’t care, but because they don’t.” —Energy Yoga
• “Detachment is not a rejection of love—it is a reclaiming of peace.” —BuddhismPageFB
• “What falls away was never meant to stay.” —BuddhismPageFB
• “The root of suffering is attachment.” —Buddha Energy Yoga