Sunday Morning Coffee Musings: Know When to Walk Away, Know When to Run

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It’s ironic that Kenny Rogers passed on yesterday and I was thinking of using the lyrics from one of his songs as a blog titled. First, let me say, Rest in Love to Mr. Rogers. I always thought he was handsome and enjoyed his music, his voice.

It’s been a few weeks since I’ve had another dating “lesson” (not fail). It really wasn’t much of a lesson. It was more like a blessing and a test. I am happy to report I passed the test with flying colors. EVERYTHING was going smooth. I was really digging this guy, but I was also holding back a little. I think that is what made the difference as far as not being terribly disappointed. Listening to my intuition telling me to hold back, slow down, no rush, was key. TRUSTING THAT INTUITION. The evidence, however, came from God’s revelation of showing me what was hidden, what I could not see. Once revealed and after an all day conversation, the individual dropped communication just as easy as he had began it with me.

Listen, you don’t have to have HUGE pieces of evidence, huge RED flags blowing in the wind, you don’t have to collect small pieces of evidence, you just need to KNOW what you KNOW with the evidence you have. Pretending that you don’t see it, feel it, know it, is one of the worse things you can do. Another thing we do is when talking to an individual and the “stuff” (I want to say shit, but I am being nice & Christian like today), they are saying doesn’t make sense or barely makes sense, IS TO ACCEPT THE BULL! Why would you accept it? Maybe, you really like the person or don’t want to be alone. None of those are good reasons and you need to do some deep healing and soul searching to find out why you want to hold on to thorns thinking you have a rose when you really have a cactus.

If you see the signs in the beginning, get a feeling in the middle, you can trust it’s something going on after you have ruled your own insecurities out. If it feels off it’s because it is off. There is no time for trying to figure out, who, what, when, where, and how. There is no need for debates and explanations. No need for the WHY ME Lord. Sometimes you’ve got to get out of there and hit the road. Walking or Running. Don’t gamble with your heart or life. Certainly, don’t let others.

You’ve got to know when to hold ’em
Know when to fold ’em
Know when to walk away
And know when to run
You never count your money
When you’re sittin’ at the table
There’ll be time enough for countin’
When the dealin’s done

-Kenny Rogers, Gambler

~Nikki

 

 

Last Friday Confetti: Gerald Chukwuma Art & Single In Memphis

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The amazingly, creative, mind blowing artwork of Gerald Chukwuma is on display in my city, Memphis, TN. at Art Village Gallery. The show was entitled Out of Africa: The Art of Fashion and was put on by the creative being, Khalifa Kofi. There was a fashion show, a live body art painting, and artwork on display. I cannot wait until she puts on more shows and to see the rest of what she has in store for us.

Ephraim Urevbum, is an artist and owner of ART VILLAGE GALLERY. We met her last Friday night and what a beautiful being! I can’t wait to bring my daughter to the gallery. As most of you know, both of us are artists.

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A Bird in The Hand

After the show, a friend and I walked across the street to Spindini’s for dinner. We didn’t know they had a live band that was playing some of the smooth jazz classics. The lady that was singing had a beautiful voice. I ordered the B.B. Queen cocktail and got the pizza I was craving. As two single ladies in Memphis, there was plenty to chat about. But, also plenty of other things to laugh about! There is plenty to do in Memphis and it’s time we all broaden our horizons and enjoy it.

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~Nikki

Valentine’s Night (I Think We Are Going To Need Back Up)

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I had plans! I vowed to not be at home tonight. I had cute dresses lined up to choose from. I was hanging out with singles. Maybe have a cocktail and enjoy great conversations. It turns out that my body had different plans. I’ve come to adjust to this most times and I know when to push through and when to stop. Rest. Yield. But I really, really, wanted to get out of this house!

I make chocolate covered strawberries every year. I’ve done this for almost 12 years. Yesterday, I had a very long day and lately I’ve become unusually tired in the afternoons. Yesterday was a day where things popped up left and right and put me behind on making berries. It also became an evening of pain with fibromyalgia and Rheumatoid. I did sleep sound but when I woke up it was hard to get out of the bed. My eyes were sore. I got up and got going. I thought my body would catch up with my mind and emotions but it never did.

So, instead of having a blog about my fabulous outing, here is one about my FUZZY night in.

I soak my hands in warm water and Epsom salt. They hurt from dipping berries. I order from the wing place literally one light away from my home. I decide to make this night a guilt free, indulge in web surfing, TV watching, anti lovey dovey watching movie night. I take a hot shower, get my FUZZY socks, and I chat it up online with whomever wants to talk. Whomever is home just like me. I’m in a few of my groups chatting and cheering up folks. I don’t answer the phone for anyone that is energy draining, complaining, disagreeable, or argumentative. Sorry, not tonight, I am in chill mode. I’ve got my incense burning and the name of the scent is Blessed Rest. And DEAR GOD do I need it! I’m bypassing the glass of Stella and opting for baked chocolate chip cookies and milk.

This…is PLAN B.

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~Nikki

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Shop Closed for Repairs

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I could give up. Quit. Become bitter. And the people that have hurt me or disappointed me will keep on doing what they do. So instead of giving up completely on love, the option is to take a break. It’s time to heal.

~Nikki

2019: Soul Lessons

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I look at 2019 like a game of chess. It was long and it ended in a stalemate. However, I’ve got the lessons, the diamonds, the nuggets, to prove I am still the champion of my life! I know the importance of counting my blessings in life and looking on the brighter side of things! Let’s start with the BIGGEST lesson.

  1. Listen to your GUT, INTUITION, THE HOLY SPIRIT above all other voices of advice. It’s good to seek godly counsel and good advice, but at the end of the day YOUR intuition is what knows. In fact, you already know the answer most of the time you are seeking “what to do” advice. You just don’t want to do it. You don’t want to be wrong. I didn’t. If you must look, look for confirmation to what your SOUL is saying.
  2. YOUR SOUL is where your intuition is. It comes from deep within. Your brain is your logic. Your heart (emotions) is your feelings. BUT your soul is what knows. So when it comes to matters of the heart, relationships, your heart and brain may be at war, but your SOUL knows. I have to listen to my soul more. MY SOUL WAS SCREAMING, but I was trying to rationalize and feel my way out of a bad situation.
  3. PEACE of MIND, a re-enforced lesson this year, IS EVERYTHING. What can you do without a peace of mind? Well, you may be able to function and get things done, but how much easier it is with a peace of mind. I am a creative being that requires a peace of mind to work. I know it’s my job to protect my peace of mind, but what I learned is that the wrong person in your environment can disturb and destroy your peace of mind. I feel so sorry for those who are linked up, living with, in a relationship, and married to a person that wreaks havoc on their mind and heart.
  4. IT WON’T GET BETTER. Them pretending to do better, do right, etc…nah…You’re not their JESUS (savior) or their THERAPIST which they so desperately are in need of both. Mental illness is real and comes in all shapes and forms. If you have a Narcissist or a Habitual liar on your hands, get them out of your hands, mind, heart, and life. They are only sowing hurt and harm into your life and reaping it in their own lives. It’s a big cycle of UNNECESSARY PAIN AND DRAMA.  Which leads to…
  5. TAKE CARE OF YOU FIRST. If you have a mate that only wants to eat junk food, fatty food, overly seasoned food, you may find yourself at the same table and in the same situation health wise they are in. You can nag all you want, but you can’t control other people’s habits. So literally, TAKE CARE OF YOU. Exercise by yourself or with friends. Buy healthier food. Meditate and seek a REAL spiritual connection daily. Actually, that REAL DEEP SPIRITUAL connection may be the thing that helps you move a way from an unhealthy relationship. BACK TO….
  6. MENTAL HEALTH. Go to therapy and don’t discuss what you discussed in therapy with a crazy mate. They will only try to discourage you and manipulate your sessions. It’s like the parable about seed being sown into the right type of ground. “How did your session go? What did your therapist say about us? Did you talk about us?” These are the questions they ask. They want to CONTROL your emotions and thoughts. They want to throw it back in your face and make you feel bad. They will even compare it to you sharing business. They will justify their conversations with other people. Namely the opposite sex. Don’t fall for it. The people they talk to aren’t professionals. Your response: “It went well. I have work to do. I don’t want to talk about my sessions. It’s personal. It’s private. Respect that. I am speaking with a professional. Why don’t you try therapy? I am sure they can refer you to someone.”
  7. TIME RESTORED. It’s just like reclaiming your time. I wasted a big portion of my year on a relationship. I felt bad until God reminded me that time can be restored by the Creator of Time. Time can be added. God has a RESET button. Hallelujah for that! I can get on with the business of dreams and goals like I never missed a beat. Keep it moving.
  8. YOU DIDN’T LOSE WHAT YOU NEVER HAD. You just created space for the RIGHT ONE. THE GOD SENT ONE or OPPORTUNITY.
  9. “IN THE DARKEST HOURS OF YOUR LIFE, USE YOUR NIGHT VISION”-NICOLE JACKSON. One of my favorite quotes dropped in my spirit from me.

Reflect on your 2019 and Release anything, everything, that hindered you or hurt you. Open up your heart to 2020 so that it may be filled with GOOD, PEACE, REAL LOVE and PROSPERITY.

~NIKKI

 

 

 

You’ve Been Played. Or Have You?

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This year I got played. Fooled. Bamboozled. Played. As smart as I am, as careful as I am, it happened. I think the worse thing you can do when it comes to matters of the heart is lie to a person. But let’s face it, it happens to the best of us. I sit back and I reflect on how things unfolded. I looked at my role: Trying to give chances where I should have CUT ALL TIES. Ignoring my own intuition, gut, Holy Spirit. But, to my credit, I took my Loss, turned it into a Lesson by finally CUTTING ALL TIES and bounced back. After all, you haven’t learned anything if you remain in a situation with all of the evidence and facts. I’d question YOU (and what it is in you that makes you think you deserve that type of treatment) at that point and not the behavior of the perpetrator.

So, I was thinking about the thought “Nicole, you got played” and how attached to that statement, true or false, are feelings of shame, stupidity, and inadequacies. The WHY ME and WHOA IS ME sagas. After all, I was familiar with those thoughts and feelings. It’s a stagnant lake of negativity that has a stench of reality and self pity. Just when I was about to dive in, Spirit kicked in. “No. They played themselves.” Oh? How so?

Think about it. What did I lose? Several months out of my life. Wasted time. Yes, that’s pretty bad in my mind because I cannot STAND to have my time wasted. Why did I try, why did I hope, why did I believe? I did it because I believed in love. I took a chance and a gamble and I lost time in the form of months. What’s my karma for that? Nothing bad or negative. I sowed hope, love, faith, trust, forgiveness and while I didn’t reap it in that relationship, surely I can reap it in another or blessings. (I mean that is a blessing to get the love you give).

How did they play themselves? What did they lose? They lost the opportunity to love, to trust, to build, to grow, to be blessed. Hell, they lost me. They lost a gem. But, I was never theirs and they were never mine. They can miss what they could have had, but I can’t miss what I never had. It wasn’t real anyway. What’s the karma for playing with a person’s heart? I can’t answer that specifically because that’s none of my business. That’s between them, God, and the Universe.

So, my loves, you haven’t been played, so to speak. The other party has played themselves. You’ve got a whole lot of goodness coming your way. Believe it.

~Nikki

I like goodness. 🙂 The majesty of it all!

HELLO BEAUTIFUL and then what?

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After they tell you how beautiful you are, send you a billion messages, then what? Then nothing if they never take the time to see your true beauty that lies within. Then nothing if they take for granted your beautiful spirit. And definitely nothing if they abuse your beautiful heart.

~Nikki

Just standing here with my beautiful spirit…with my lamp and my oil.