I was in a tailspin. Sometimes in life you have to spin out. Without delay here is what has helped me organize the chaos. None of this is in order. Sort of fits the chaos. 🙂

1. If you really want to know what the hell is going on in your life, you have to answer the question. List all that is going on in your life and don’t forget to list the good no matter how seemingly small it may be. I am reminded of the prophet Elijah who was on the run from Jezebel and found himself in the desert by a small brook. Not much probably came down that brook but, it was water to drink. One can be grateful for that. Also, I think of the bird that delivered him food as the first drone doordash (LOL). Maybe all you are getting are a few blips here and there of what you deem to be good. Nevertheless, notice it. Be thankful for it because often times gratitude gets you through the chaos. So look at what is going and then you will KNOW what you are dealing with.
2. Problem solving, finding solutions may seem obvious but let’s be honest. Many times when the heavy stuff hits you or the “stuff” hits the fan, you’re either stunned or busy trying to get things off of you. Once you get some breathing room or maybe block off some time, think of how you’re going to deal with what is going. I suggest being prayerful about it or simply asking for wisdom, solutions or whatever it is you think you need. Ask for patience and clarity. Ask and wait. Yep. It may not come immediately but, help is on the way.
3. Therapy. I have a therapist and I have Jesus. I have God. I have a few good friends. I am open to strangers with wisdom. With all of that being said, your faith is what you need lean into hard and heavy. And I am glad we are entering into an age where therapy isn’t taboo or a sign of weakness, “crazy” as some generations may think, nor is it a sign of a lack of faith. If you have a friend that has been in the same boat you are in, maybe they can offer support if not advice.
4. Journal. Blog. Blog it out in a filtered way. You don’t want to put all of your business out there but, sometimes connecting with others who can read your about your struggles is therapeutic for you and them. “Oh, I am not alone in this dark time” or “Oh, thank you so much for keeping in your prayers” are words that help you to carry on another day. Journaling unfiltered is what I do. Journaling or writing your true, pure, uncut feelings and thoughts is a release. You get it out of you! And you make space for solutions to come.
5. Getting honest about how you feel. I am angry. I am sad. I am confused. I am tired. I am not feeling motivated or inspired. I am depressed. I am anxious. What can I do about how I feel? Feel it and let go. Feel it for two days and move on. See someone that can help you process these feelings. Look up how to move through negative feelings. I know eventually you will have to address the root of the problem. I am just saying it’s okay to not be okay. And when people are not okay, sometimes they just need to FEEL what they are feeling. Give them some space. And ask for space if you need it. Time and space is everything when you are going through something heavy. Oh and scream and cry and throw pillows. I am so serious. LOL. Oh, and I have told people I don’t want to be cheered up. I want to be sad and leave me be. And I have pushed myself to spend time with family and friends. I never regretted it. It helped me to connect to people I care about and love.
6. Hearing and Reading things that feed your soul. Hearing and reading things that are about what you are dealing with. It keeps you nourished.
7. Eating as healthy as possible and exercise. These are the things you don’t want to stop doing in the midst of your trials and tribulations. The mind affects the body. But the body still needs to be taken care of. I sure did emotionally snack. Yes, I ate comfort food. But I also kept eating healthy and I kept doing some form of exercise.
8. BOUNDARIES AND CONSEQUENCES. I had these in place but, I needed to create new ones for what I was dealing with and the people involved. I am still working on figuring out this part.
9. STANDING UP FOR MYSELF. Saying NO has been so liberating. Saying I can’t do that today. Saying I can’t do that at all. Saying I won’t do that. Saying this is your problem to solve. Saying I need space. Saying don’t call me unless it urgent. Saying this is my day. Going a vacation and letting go was difficult the first day but the next morning, I felt free. I had to trust the Divine to take care of things while I was away. I realized I was not “God”. Meaning I am not in control of everything and everyone. It’s like you know that but sometimes when you are in a situation you don’t realize how much you are trying to control. In fact, we call it juggling but those balls are bound to fall. And what can you do about it?

I hope this helps someone. I am still figuring things out and yes, I know I am not alone.

Love, Nikki