Yesterday, I was at a fall festival. It was really nice and the weather was perfect. The rain didn’t come in until later that evening. I let my siblings know I wouldn’t be available to care for my parents Saturday and Sunday. I still had to go over in the mornings for a few moments and my daughter went over some as well. Overall, it was better than me not saying anything. Maybe one day, I won’t have to go over at all and they can take care of everything. Or, we could hire someone to do that. I would like for this to happen whether I am out of town or not. I need full days to myself. And I feel like I shouldn’t have to leave the city for this to happen.

I met some really nice human beings, from different backgrounds. Nothing new about that in my city. Although, the media would have you to think otherwise. Today, I am fatigued and last night, I was in quite a bit of pain (back spasms) and other pain associated with Rheumatoid and Fibromyalgia. So, today it’s rest. No cooking dinner. No way was I cooking after the festival either! So, it’s been TV watching, nodding off, and under a blanket on the couch or in the armchair with my feet up. No crocheting. No thinking about serious stuff or my schedule for next week. I will do that tomorrow. But definitely yoga, hydrate, snacking (guilt free but back on track tomorrow) and surfing the web for inspiration and just until I am bored. I go back to my regularly scheduled program tomorrow.

After seeing my therapist last week, I am also implementing some new strategies to save my mental and emotional health, my dreams, and goals. My role as the main caregiver must have boundaries. And I have to think in fast forward as the future of my parents are approaching. At some point, and we are almost there, my father and mother will need more care than I can provide. Watching them age has me thinking about my own health and how I can continue to change my habits for the better. It will not happen without determination and a plan. It will not happen without intention.

It’s a late post but, I am here with my resting Sunday face. Rest is spiritual.

~Nikki