If you think in the terms that everything has to be even then no, there is no such thing or balance is rare when it comes to life. I once tried to explain this to a guy that was “spiritual” but, I now understand he hadn’t reach that understanding of what it means to be balanced in the spiritual realm. It’s not a scale or a chart divided up into equal parts. When your life is balanced it’s not because you give 8 hours to working and 8 hours to family. It’s not when you spend 2 hours at a place of worship and 2 hours meditating. It’s not about numbers, a scale or a chart having equal parts.

To me balance is understanding centering and extending out from that center in a spectrum that has moving parts. For example, at the heart of my life is God, myself and my family. In no order. There is not one, two or three. I know you find that disturbing but I believe “God” flows through me and my care, love for family and myself. If my daughter is ill and I have to choose between church that Sunday or my daughter, I will choose my daughter. If God had to choose between a religious activity and me in need, I believe God would choose me. But God doesn’t have to choose. God is omnipresent. I am not. If I had to speak but, I had a terrible flare up with pain and swelling, I would press to make it. But, if I ended up in the hospital, I would not try to leave the hospital to get to an audience that could not give me grace, prayers, mercy, and understanding.

Balance to me isn’t about a rigid order of things. It’s about the flexibility of priorities and activities. It’s about some non-negotiables and even those change. It’s about quality time and sometimes it’s just about time. I give the proper time to prepare for Bible Therapy Study. I give time to exercise. I give time to teaching. I give quality time to my daughter or family gatherings. I am present. Sometimes I just give time to people in my life and it’s not necessarily quality time but it’s time and time is a gift. If a friend and I are chatting, it could just be time. If we meet up for cocktails and dinner it could be time or quality time. Either way, I am present. When I was at work it was I had to give. It wasn’t quality time. But my work was quality, sufficient, excellent depending on what I was doing. The job, the company, was not important in a sense of it was my dream job or career. It was important and necessary to take care of me and my family. It was necessary to survive and to do some of the things I wanted to do. It’s necessary to work and to have a retirement income.

I see balance as not giving one person or thing all of my time or attention for extended periods. I see it as not becoming consumed by any person or thing. I think of it as I can’t work 10-12 hours a day and never take off work to spend time with myself, my family, go on vacation or sit at home and do not one thing. I don’t and never have thought in terms of “I could have been making money instead of taking this paid day off to go on a field trip with my daughter.” I never thought of it as, “I could have been making money instead of calling in because they have worked the hell out of me and I need a day in my pajamas and silence or TV or reading or taking care of things I can’t take of because I am always at work.” I never thought I couldn’t work at my dreams and goals and not make time for fun and foolishness. I always thought work and play went together. There are some times in life you will work more than you play but don’t forget to play. There will, hopefully, come a day where you can play more than you work. Or even better, work is play! But in the meantime, work and play respectfully.

~Nikki