The Separation of Self, Church, and Relationships

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I don’t know what I would I do if I were  married to a person that was not motivated or disciplined enough to achieve their dreams and goals. What if you wanted a better life and they were okay with just getting by? I would be so miserable in either situation. I have known marriages to break up over one not wanting to advance, while the other one did and I have seen another break up because one was content just getting by. I’ve seen hardworking men and lazy women, hardworking women and lazy men. I’ve also seen Churches command people to say in these marriages and I’ve seen people encourage others to stay in misery. I mean yes, try, try as many times as you can, get counseling, etc. but at what point do you walk away? I guess only YOU can be brave enough to make that decision and that is the way it should be. You should be able to make it without judgement and without guilt. You should have the support of friends, family, and your God. After all, God is like a Father and I wouldn’t think any loving, caring, father would want you to be miserable in any relationship. And just remember, back then and even now in some countries, women had no say in who they would marry. I don’t think that was of God either! I think it was more cultural than anything.

Well, what about those of us that are dating, in a relationship, living with a significant other? If you see they are not motivated or disciplined enough to pursue their dreams and goals how does that make you feel? Are you slowing down to be their 24/7 cheerleader? Are you doing things for them they could do for themselves? Filling out applications and calling to see if someone is hiring? Googling and researching how to start a repair shop? These are things they can DO FOR THEMSELVES. We can get so involved in helping others we neglect our own dreams, goals, and visions.

Listen, I am about to say something to those of you that are NOT  married. You need to continue to go after your dreams with all of your might and heart while you are not married. Especially, if you have a partner that seems to be lethargic. I mean if your fire doesn’t light their fire, if your encouragement is not enough, if your support and help is not enough, it never will be. I’d rather see manifestation before I say I do, than to see it after and the person lives off of my success. I don’t think there is enough love in the world for me to marry someone that wants to struggle, makes crazy decisions about finances, or that is unstable in employment. I guess in the past, I may have been so blind and so in love, I would have. BUT now that I am more mature and have a better understand of myself, I couldn’t. I wouldn’t. If it’s a strain NOW it will be a BURDEN later. The same stands for me spiritually. If I am in a spiritual place they are not in, if our souls are not aligned, I must say good-bye. I don’t have the time for them to play catch up at my age (44). I mean to be 3 miles behind is different than being 30 miles behind. Our ideals, hearts, minds, souls, have to line up somewhat, close I would think. Not perfectly, but certainly not miles and miles and ideals apart which leads to and unequally yoked environment. Personalities and temperaments matter! Comprehension levels and upbringing matters. Maturity levels matter! No relationship or marriage is easy or perfect and I get that. But, should I be sad, mad, 5 days out of 7? Should we be pretending to be okay at church, in front of friends,  and on social media?

I don’t know what the other person is going to do if they are not trying to build a stable life, live out there dreams, or grow. I just know that I have chosen to go forth, full steam ahead, making stops and slowing down to help those that are trying to help themselves as far as dreams and goals are concerned. I don’t want to be bound by Church to stay and I don’t want to be bound by a relationship. I have a right to peace and happiness. Contrary to popular belief, God does care about my peace of mind, my happiness, and what I am called to do. I don’t know if I will ever marry, I hope so. I want to. But, I would have to be 100% certain. In the meantime, I will continue to wait on Divine Intervention. 🙂

~Nikki

 

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Morning Self Pep Talk: You Can’t Turn This Train Around

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Illustration by Megan Hess

Morning Pep Talk to Self: “Ain’t no turning this train around. Where you gonna turn it around at? On the side of some mountain (problem/situation)? To turn this train around in the midst of adversity would be disastrous. To lose faith, give up, right now, right here would be a major set back. Power through baby. Full speed ahead.” -Nicole to Nicole

 

 

See The Sign. Take Action.

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If you are waiting on God, God just may be waiting on you. God, the Universe, the Creator, the god within, just may be waiting on you to take action. The sign you are looking for may not be broadcasted as breaking news but, it just may be hearing what you were thinking about on a radio talk show. It may be reading it on someone’s post. It may come to you in a dream where you see yourself doing what it is you want to do.

Now that you see or hear the sign what are YOU going to do? Take a step or jump of the cliff, big or small, take action. I am in the fight of my life and money is scarce. It takes money to make money but, it takes an idea to generate money and create wealth. Once you have the idea then you have to DO SOMETHING. Read about it, research, take a class, save up, write the plan, write the idea out, or create a vision board. Start small and grow. Look into new ideas. Pray and meditate that the right people show up to help you. Be open to change and new directions. Treat failures as a lesson. Be okay with not being able to do some things well and capitalize off what you do with excellence. Remove those that hinder your progress or go around them. Create a positive space in your mind, body, soul, and heart and just go.

I am soon to be 43. I have no concern about age and creating the life and space I want to live in for the rest of my years. I never cared about age even at a young age. What is old? What is young? What is too late? It’s never too late to be happy. It’s never too late to be loved. It’s never too late to live your dreams. It’s never too late to make money. I got rid of two pages I was managing on Facebook. I linked my blog to my new page Nikki’s Confetti Life on Facebook. I changed my Instagram page to a Business Profile and linked it to the Facebook page. I promote my pages and posts with every extra dollar I save or make. I learned to crochet and I am learning to sew. I have written three books and I am just waiting for the right time and opportunity to launch them full throttle. I am thinking of more ways to get them to the masses. The are e-books and one in print. I sit at the feet of a published author helping others to reach their goals. You see, I am afraid. I am unsure. I don’t know what I am doing. I am making mistakes. I am messing up. I am getting my feelings hurt. BUT, I am doing. I am going. I am learning some things are business, some things are part of the process, and in conscious when you have not did anything to warrant bad reviews or opinions, or the lies told on you, you can shake the dust off your wings and keep flying. I fight Rheumatoid Disease, Fibromyalgia, Depression sometimes, Anxiety sometimes and I am worn and tattered but, God sews me back up when I lay my weary head and body down at night. A warrior will never come out of the battle without a scratch but, we can come out of the fire without smelling like smoke or being burned.

Go. Take Action.

~Nikki

 

Your Master Passion

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Okay, so, I am just going to tell you what happened to me the other day. I know what the Creator told me to do this year, so what do I do, I do that, BUT I decide I’m going to do something else in the process to get the money flowing (I’m unable to work a regular job right now). Well, I bought all of this stuff and after I created the product, I was like…that was soooooooooo boring and such a waste of my time..and the little money I’d save! I started to feel bad about wasting money. Then I heard the Spirit/God say “Don’t worry about the money you wasted. I have more. It’s okay. It’s never a waste when you are trying to invest in yourself and create rivers of income.” I felt better. It was a “bought lesson.”

I saw this quote yesterday in the book, Simple Abundance by Sarah Ban Breathnach. I was not being loyal to my soul’s desire(s). I abandoned working on the things that stir my soul, my soul’s passions, to do a “right quick” thing. It’s not part of the plan. The plan is to prepare for the opportunities that are coming my way. This is all that God instructed me to do. My plan didn’t come with a side hustle or hustles. Even though, everyone is saying get you a side hustle. If the side hustle comes it must be presented as an opportunity and not something I do “right quick.” Especially, if it bores me to tears. I mean I had enough of that working at the jobs I had for 14 years. If there is a side hustle in the midst of preparing…it must be interesting and fun, hard work is fine, but I must enjoy the fruit of my labor. After all, it’s called fruit, not rocks of my labor (ha ha ha!).

~Nikki

Sunday Morning Coffee Musing: Patience

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Patience, beloved. Every piece of the puzzle will be put into its place. This is the message that came to me as I dreamed about 1000 and 3000 piece puzzles I saw laying on the table. Before this, I’d visited with our second family in Iowa. We went there to pick up my nephew from college. In the home was a big puzzle laying on a table. I sat down and tried to match pieces and quickly was reminded how tedious this could be.

Well, all week long I’d been anxious, irritable, not feeling my best, and just ready for things to smooth out in my life. It was a Thursday night and I dreamed about puzzles on a table. I heard a voice in the dream saying, “Patience, patience.” As I saw a second puzzles in progress, the words were repeated again. This was a simple message. I want to rush a particular process I am going through. I am ready for it to be over so I can move on with my life. I am ready for it to be over so I can build and have more independence. This part of my life is the biggest stressor!

So, there it was. God, the Divine, sending out a message to my psyche. “Patience, beloved. Every piece of the puzzle will be put in its place.”

~Nikki

How I Feel About Turning 42. It’s my Birthday!

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When I think of the number 42 I think of Jackie Robinson. Iconic. Breaking barriers. Bold. Brave. Outspoken. Skilled. Hard-working. And last but not least…legendary. 42 is a good number. It’s the number of a legend. In the spiritual realm it’s about pursuing your passions and life purpose, doing the things you love and putting your heart and soul in them as angels readily assist. I want to make it legendary. And in the words of Jackie Robinson “A life is not important except in the impact it has on others.” You see, most of all I want it to impact the lives of others in the most positive, inspiring, and mind shifting way. It is going to require discipline, bravery, skills, dedicated hard work, the breaking of barriers, boldness, and to be outspoken when necessary. My # last year was #40and1, but now it shall be #42Legendary. Today is my birthday! Hello 42!

~Nikki