What is success to you? Do you get to define success for others? Who defined success for you? I mean really think about where you got YOUR ideas of what success is. Did you get it from your parents? Friends? TV? Social Media? Society? Religion? Yes. I said religion because some of us were taught incorrectly about being wealthy based on the lack of proper explanation of several scriptures. So, I encourage you to take some real time to define success for yourself without comparison to other people.
I recently out of frustration thought “I should be further along than I am.” And then a friend said it too about herself. And an associate said they felt they should be further along. But this is what was given to me when I said it: “By who’s standards? In comparison to who? You? Observing everyone around you and comparing yourself? Maybe by your own nice, little, neatly mapped out plans of your life on a whiteboard or in a notebook? Perhaps in your mind? Further along?”
I thought about this. I honestly was thinking about where others were and my own plans. I couldn’t be further from my plans if I intentionally diverted from them. This is why I wrote the affirmations in the blog yesterday: https://nikkisconfettilife.com/2023/05/24/where-are-you/ . But what was expressed to me about this statement was some of what I wrote in the above paragraph and also what is in the next few paragraphs.
You are where you are supposed to be. You are where you need to be. You are where you are however you think you got here. If hearing you are where you are because you made the choices you made seems too lofty or a dump reasoning, then hear this: “I am where I am because of some choices I made and some choices I did not. I am here because of myself and others whether I consciously or subconsciously (willingly or naively) allowed certain things to take place. I take responsibility for that but I do not take responsibility for the things I could not control. I take responsibility for my healing and I choose to make better decisions and choices.” I wrote all of that because it’s more complex than “You are where you are because of the choices you made.” And people never stop, nor do most care to see that. It requires thought, rationale, comprehension, and compassion and who has time for that today?
Feel the difference in “I should be further along” and “I am right where I need to be for change. I am right where I need to be for growth.” Say it aloud. Feel it. Remove the weight of “I should be further along” and see that feeling as an indicator that you are ready for change or growth. “Oh! I am ready for change. I am ready for a new adventure in life. This is getting boring or old.” You feel much lighter. You are more apt to take action for the right reasons after you FIRST define success for yourself based on YOUR internal dialogue. Not what the world or people say success is.
The heart of a human plans their course but the Lord guides their steps. Proverbs 16:9
Many plans are in one’s heart but the purpose of the Lord will prevail. Proverbs 19:21
Have you defined success for other people? Why? What is success to you?