I crave stability. When I was younger and things changed it would really cause me to be in what the older people call a “nervous wreck”. As I grew into my teenage years, young adult years, I continued to be in a “nervous wreck” because my world collided with the real world and other people’s world and things seem to be always changing.

“Change is a part of life” is what I was told all of my life up until now, and it’s true. I heard it but I didn’t understand it and I never knew what to do about it. I didn’t understand why things, good things, had to change. This idea that things were going to constantly keep changing in my life and I didn’t know how to deal with it brought on more anxiety and depression (that I didn’t have a name for then) than I could handle. My “nervous wreck” constant state of the anticipation of change magnified anxiety. The thought that I could do nothing about these changes, I had no control of these random changes brought on depression. Especially, when big changes occured.

What I have come to understand is that while “change is inevitable and apart of life” there are some things you can do about it. I didn’t know that. Oh, I eventually adjusted but felt well, I had no choice and that left me feeling powerless.

• You can control how you respond to change.
• You can decide if this is something you need to fight because it’s not fair and it’s not right.
• You can decide if you have options or you can explore other options. You can become resourceful.
• You can give yourself time and space to process change.
• It’s okay to be concerned, worried, feel anxious, feel saddened, vexed, angry but, it’s what you do next that gives you back control. It’s how you respond or move next that dictates your mental and emotional stability.
• You could embrace the change and work with the change if it’s possible.
• You can get help. You can seek therapy to help you to process and move through changes.

I also recently came into the understanding that change is natural and it’s unnatural for things not to change. Staying the same is not natural. We grow and then we bloom and both are two different seasons in our lives. Then sometimes we die to ideas, relationships, jobs, physical changes, and yes even loved ones transition and it’s all change. Then we are planted again or sprout again and we live during the change (growth) and then we bloom. In the bloom there is beauty and wisdom. We then help others in their change and we awe when they bloom. And we all start all over again.

~Nikki