From Breakdown to Build Up

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When I gave birth to my daughter, I suffered from post partum depression. Suddenly, my worst fears took over and I felt incompetent as a mother. I felt she would be better off without me because of the things that happened to me in the past. No one protected me and I couldn’t protect myself. I thought there is no way I could protect her. I had an irrational fear that the same things that happened to me would happen to her. I was on the verge of a serious breakdown. As a matter of fact, I was having a breakdown.

As I was getting the help I needed, the doctor asked me what is the one thing you gained from this ordeal, the one thing you feel about yourself? I thought for a second and out of my mouth came these words “I am stronger than I think.” She looked directly at me and said “Yes you are. You are stronger than you think.”

I have used those words throughout my life to get me through some serious tough times and some pitch black moments. I use those words often when I feel as though too much is happening and I am losing the battle. I use those words to push through. I also have realized I am smarter than I think. I am also braver than I think. When you say these things to yourself over a period of time, even at what appears to be the worst time, they take root in your core. And it’s as if the Creator or angels take hold of that anchor in your soul and help pull you through. I have learned if you just try a thing, learn a thing, you can do it. Especially if it’s your calling or your gifts and talents. I want you to know today…

You are stronger than you think or believe. You are smarter and you are braver. Look at all that you have survived and now it is time to thrive. You survive by living your best life, by walking in your destiny with confidence and becoming the beautiful being you were created to be. You are more than a conqueror. The build up is in what you tell yourself in the dark times to get you back to the light. The build up is in what you say and not what you feel at the time…you say it until you feel it and you recall the other times you pulled through to give you strength.

~Nikki

Mood: Strong

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