28 Days of The Self Love Project: Day 25 Save Yourself

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You need your own love to save your heart. -Rithvik Singh

You know that feeling you have when you are in love? That is the kind of love you need for yourself. That’s it. That’s the blog post.

~Nikki

28 Days of The Self Love Project: Day 24 Perfection is NOT The Goal

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You were born to be real, not to be perfect. -Unknown

The process of deepening the roots of self-love will not require you to be perfect. It will require you to be real. As the quote expresses, you were born to be real. Real means you are just as human as you are divine. In your human form you will always make mistakes. We have discussed forgiving yourself on this self-love journey. You’re going to need to do that often because there will be trial and error. Sometimes you will come out on top and sometimes you will not but, each time you will learn and grow. To learn and to grow is the VICTORY!

So, remember, you are real. Not perfect. No pressure.

~Nikki

28 Days of The Self Love Project: Day 18 It’s All in Your Mind

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What is mental health? Mental health includes our emotional, psychological, and social well-being. It affects how we think, feel, and act. It also helps determine how we handle stress, relate to others, and make healthy choices. Mental health is important at every stage of life, from childhood and adolescence through adulthood.

Let’s lift this out of the first paragraph, “It affects how we think, feel, and act.” If your mental health is not in check, it will affect the way you think and feel about yourself. It will affect the actions you take concerning yourself. Yes, it will affect others, too, but today we are talking about you and self-love. When you don’t take care of your mental health you may not be able to see yourself through the correct lenses. You may not make the best decisions for yourself. I know from personal experiences.

Mental health challenges distort the truth. It distorts facts. When I am challenged with anxiety, I have to first realize that I am anxious. I am anxious about my current situation or the future. I have to tell myself; I can’t trust anything I am thinking and saying right now because I am feeling anxious. It’s not until I start to build the momentum to pull myself out of anxiety or depression that I can trust what I am thinking and feeling. Feelings pass. “Thoughts” can change. It is especially important to remember that when you are going through something that affects your mental health. A loss of a family member, being fired from your job, the breakup of a relationship or mental illness.

Taking care of your mental health or mental illness is pertinent to your overall health but, it also is a sign of loving yourself enough to deal with the mental issues you have. You must be brave to face the facts. You must be even braver, to take the step to talk to your doctor and to seek out a mental health professional. It’s wonderful to pray about it but, your breakthrough comes when you accept the help available to you. For the super religious, God created therapist and psychologist. There is one of your race and culture and religion. AND God loves them and approves them just as much as he loves and approves you and primary care physician. They are walking in their calling, too. They are anointed, too.

So, my love, take care of your mental health. If you want to show yourself that you love yourself, take that step. I’m with you all the way.

~Nikki

28 Days of The Self Love Project: Day 11 Love with Benefits

A journey to true, deep self-love is the best, most rewarding, hard work you could ever do for yourself. There are so many benefits and these are some I have discovered.

It builds this amazing confidence and resilience.

It builds this relationship with yourself that is not built on lies.

It makes you better for those YOU love, those that love you and those who are yet to love you.

It makes you choose peace over pain.

It teaches you to be less judgmental and more mindful of your own business.

 It strengthens the law of attraction. It sets you up to receive the greater goodness of life.

It teaches you to let others be as free as YOU want to be. It’s a dangerous thing to be religious without self-love. It’s a dangerous thing to be spiritual without self-love. You know why?  It creates a self-righteous stench.

Self-love can illuminate your path. It can make your journey so much clearer. It can make your purpose so much clearer.

Self-love is dynamic; it grows through actions that mature us. When we act in ways that expand self-love in us, we begin to accept our weaknesses and own our strengths. We have less of a need to explain our shortcomings. We have more compassion for ourselves as human beings struggling to find personal meaning. Self-love helps us to create a more centered life. But you must do the work that brings gratification like no other.

~Nikki

28 Days of The Self Love Project: Day 9 Reflect and Modify

Self-love is reflecting on your behavior and modifying it. This means you must think about why you did what you did, said what you said, and allow what you allow. You might have to get some help from a therapist to help you to help yourself. Self-love is work.

~Nikki

28 Days of The Self Love Project: Day 8 Standing Your Spiritual Ground

Self-love is setting boundaries and enforcing them. SETTING AND ENFORCING boundaries is hard work. Especially, when you love that person. Especially, when people don’t understand your journey or your vision. And let me just say this, they don’t have to, and you need to learn to be okay with that. Self-love and setting boundaries are hard work. You must stand your spiritual ground.

~Nikki

28 Days of The Self Love Project: Day 6 What a Beautiful Mess

Self-love requires the excavation of your authentic self. Who were you before the pain? Before the heartbreak? Before the trauma and drama? Who were you before you were told what to do, what to think, what to be? What really makes you happy and brings you joy? Who were you before the events of life and your environment shaped you? Did you know you could shape and handcraft your own life? You are not bound by bad experiences. Ask the potter to shape you into the best you, the real you, the authentic you. But, ooo, it’s going to hurt sometimes remembering how happy, joyful, trusting, carefree, full of hope and dreams you use to be. It’s hard coming back to life. You know why? The you, you think you are must die first. Self-love requires you to dig deep, knee deep, get dirty, and to excavate your authentic self. It’s messy. It’s hard work.

~Nikki

28 Days of The Self Love Project: Day 5: Maybe, Uncomfortable HONESTY

Self-love is about being HONEST with yourself about yourself, and about others. You may have to admit that you are selfish, petty to the 10th power, maybe you do let people walk all over you, maybe you do think you are better than others, maybe you are lonely, maybe you do have insecurities. MAYBE they don’t love you or respect you. Maybe it is just about sex. Maybe you never wanted to be a physical therapist, nurse, warehouse worker and you really wanted to open a bakery. You may have to admit that you were wrong and that you hurt someone. The truth will set you free but only if you tell the truth to yourself and others. It is hard work.  

Please take a little more time and check out the link below about the power of introspection. I was vulnerable in that post. 🙂

~Nikki

28 Days of The Self Love Project: Day 4 NOT CHANGE! (Sarcasm)

Self-love requires CHANGE and CHANGE is HARD WORK. It’s easier to stay the same and say “What? This is just the way I am.” If the way you are is not a reflection of love or self-love, is it really the way you are or just the way you have grown accustomed to being and responding?

You might have to change and expand circles. You may lose a few friends or you may have to make new friends. You may be alone for a while. And though you are loyal, it means nothing if you are loyal to people who don’t respect or value you or use you. If they are using your mind, they are using you. If they are using your heart and emotions, they are using you. If they are using your body, they are using you. Change is hard work. Self-love requires change.

~Nikki

28 Days of The Self Love Project: Day 2 Put Some Respect on Self Love

There are many definitions of self-love and many philosophies. But today I want you think of it as this: SELF LOVE IS SELF PRESERVATION. SELF LOVE IS SELF PRESERVATION. SELF LOVE IS SELF PRESERVATION.

Self-preservation is the act of protecting, looking after, and caring for your being.

You cannot shop away sadness. You cannot massage away a bitterness. You cannot eat away dysfunction. You cannot MAC make up away the tears. Baby, you have got to do your work.

Self-love is not measured by how many pair of shoes or purses you have, but how much respect you have for your heart soul body and spirit. I urge you to put some respect on your mind heart body and soul. Self-love is reflected by what and who you allow in your life. Self-love shows up in how you treat other people.

~Nikki