Yesterday, I felt the pressure of taking on the responsibility of something I didn’t want anymore or at least, not under those circumstances. I answered the phone to negative energy Saturday, and had the displeasure of of this negative energy in my passenger seat Thursday. I had to have a conversation that was filled with negativity, frustration, and anger on Thursday and on top of that, my very sweet sister in law unexpectedly, tragically passed away. As I sat on my yoga mat Saturday morning, another phone call of BULL came through. I knew I should not have stopped my practice but, better mid practice than afterwards. At least, I could try to flush out that energy as well.

I thought to myself, “Dear God, you don’t have to show me anything else. I get it. I got it. I said I was departing and you know that I am. You don’t have to keep confirming.” JESUS! I felt my mood battling in my head and in my heart. I started to move about my home prepping to bake by cleaning the kitchen first. And then I thought, “I will not let them win. They will not ruin my day, my mood. I know what to do.”

I thought about affirmations but then it came to me, why not be happy about it all. This is not strange to me and as soon as I thought it, I was like okay. Let’s go for it.

“God I thank you for all of the drama and confusion. How can I be disappointed by people who constantly and consistently have let me down? Why should I be? Why should I be upset by people who waver under pressure, waver at the slightest wind, and who are unstable in their ways and emotions. Why would one expect peace and calmness on any given day from tormented souls? It’s foolish of me to do. It’s expecting different results from people who have not, will not put in the work to change. So, God I thank you for the confusion and the drama. I thank you for the dysfunction. I thank you because it has taught me so much about myself and the people closest to me. I cannot totally disconnect from them but, I can totally depart from them.”

“I thank you because the departure is not just physical, it’s mental, it’s emotional, it’s spiritual. I thank you because I finally know how to deal with those closest to me. At the end of the day, I am going to stand for what is right, and I am going to stand on your WORD. I like the truth and I thank you for showing me the truth even when it hurts. I am so glad I don’t have to force family relationships with people that don’t want them with me for whatever reason. God, bless them and bless me. I am now boarding a life that has been calling me since the day I was born. So glad I went through all of what I have been through because it has prepared me for goodness and greatness now and in my future.”

“I am looking forward and forgetting those things that are behind me. I am pressing, floating, flying, rising to the life I want to live. All of my life, I have been searching for a life of peace, prosperity, love and creativity. I move towards my purposes and I move with adventurous faith and a better attitude of gratitude. I am here to do what I love and not what I hate. I am here to love those who do not love me but also to focus on those who do love me.”

Sincerely, Healing Forward

So be it unto me as I have said

~Nikki