My heart is just filled with gratefulness and love this morning. Like up to the top. I even feel a little misty eyed. Thinking about how rich and wealthy we already are if we would take the time to stop and smell the roses. Totally immerse ourselves in the moment of a conversation with a friend without looking at our phones or immerse ourselves totally in the pleasure of a cup of tea or glass of wine. If we would look into the eyes of our family when we see them and hug them each time with all of our might. If we would reminisce about the fun times of childhood we would laugh and feel good about all of those good memories…rich irreplaceable moments with friends and cousins. Wealthy in our small homes and apartments surrounded by objects we adore and that are priceless and meaningful to us even if we got them from a dollar store or if it were passed down to us or given to us by a friend. Wealthy in the events of accomplishments big and small, public and private. Wealthy in nature. Yes, money cometh. Yes, wealth and riches is in your house. But just know, we are rich and wealthy in the now. -Nicole Jackson
It seems as if everyone else is whizzing right past you as you “mosey” along or perhaps you are not moving at all. Maybe, you are stuck. Well, I have goals because I set goals. I have dreams and new dreams, new visions, things I want to see happen in the face of Rheumatoid Arthritis, Fibromyalgia and all of that other noise that seems to slow me down and sometimes get the best of me.
In the effort to lose weight, to achieve my other goals as well, it seems as if the well abled bodied people are just flying right past me. Soaring to their goals, and I, I am left behind in their dust. Me? I’m struggling to stay motivated. I can’t walk that fast, like I use to. I can’t use my hands very well today, I can’t stand as long as I use to, the fatigue…it’s what some call excuses, but it’s a reality for many of us. We are not who we use to be and oh if we would have known this was coming, we may have did the 5K or went back to school sooner.
Q: Dear God, Universe, Creator, Self, Spirit, how do I deal with all the feels of being left behind?
A: Take your eyes off others and put your eyes on me. Keep your eyes on “your” prize. Stop the comparison. It’s unfair and foolish to compare yourself with well abled bodied people and it’s unfair to compare yourself to the old self. You can’t be in the past and present at the same time. This is why you are not progressing as fast or at all.
So, with that revelation, I invite you to meditation and prayer. Center yourself during the times when you are “feeling” so much despair and disappointment. If I keep watching others I will fall. If I keep comparing myself to others, I will fail. If I keep living in the past, I can’t work in the present to prepare for my future. All eyes on the Creator. All eyes on the scriptures, affirmations, practices, that center your heart and mind.
Looking through the lenses of a pastor’s child, you see the ends and outs of ministry. As a child I remember going, sometimes being dragged here, there and everywhere with my parents and the church. It was like a vagabond experience when I was young, you know, wherever I laid my head on a pew was my pillow for that service! We were visiting different churches, he was doing revivals, in and out of town, there were evening programs, there were conventions and congresses to attend. I remember it and I grew to understand it. I grew to respect it. I grew to enjoy many of these things as I started to participate and comprehend these things.
As I see some in ministry, even the ministry of helps, running themselves raggedy in the name of Jesus, I see worn out human beings running on Jesus Juice and Holy Ghost Caffeine. Some are stretched and stressed. Some are broken. Some can’t be still because to be still means you are not doing anything and well, that’s sort of kind of the point. Some, when they are still, there is no “peace” in their peace be still. Their minds are like a broken wind up toy…still going. And some can’t be still because they are trying to prove themselves worthy and move on up the ladder of ministry. They can’t say no to “whatever” others in ministry ask them to do and they certainly can’t say no their leaders, because well, they may lose their position or it’s like saying no to God himself! (dangerous territory). Oh the guilt and shame of being…tired. The shame of growing old and saying: “Here, let someone younger take the wheel” before the wheels fall off. The reluctance of some leaders to designate roles to their disciples. I don’t think Jesus set the table, prepared the food, washed dishes, made the campfire, pitched the tent, etc. just because he could if he wanted to. I mean what was the point of having a crew if you were going to do all the work. And could you imagine one of them telling Jesus “I have been cooking every night. I am tired. Get Peter to do it.” No, you can’t. I can. It probably would have been me. I don’t think I would have been fired either. I think Jesus would have understood.
Side note: I think Jesus was the kind of leader that could read his disciples. I think a good leader would never abuse the willingness of his staff to serve.
Jesus walks. His steps were ordered. I don’t read of him frantic about everywhere he went. It’s almost as if his directions were calculated, orchestrated, and obligated. I do believe he also had some leadway as to where he went and wanted to go. Why? Because I don’t believe God is into micromanaging us. And even in all of that, he rested and went on a sabbatical. He went to sleep on a ship. We think he stayed up the entire time he was here on the planet. We think he did those things we read back to back to back to back…one chapter after the other. There was time and space in between those things.
Mood: Nam myoho renge kyo: To connect to the Universe, to bring empowerment. Yesterday the universe orchestrated my vibrations and brought forth a very negative situation. I am glad that it happened so that I can learn a very prominent lesson for this year as it is my goal, my soul’s goal to be liberated and I guess that means liberated from everything that holds me back, from everything that causes me not to be in alignment with my destiny and from everything that hinders me and my soul’s evolution. This is my year of liberation and a year of legendary moves and growth. So many lessons from yesterday for this journey. Sometimes peeling back that final layer hurts, but helps us to leap into another level.
Seek ye FIRST to understand AND THEN, to be understood. -Steven Covey
I had an awesome morning and just as awesome as my morning to mid day was, my evening fell apart emotionally and mentally. I missed all the big signs from the Universe, God, that led to a big blow up and verbal altercation. Immediately after words of war were exchanged, I knew I was not angry about what was happening at that moment I was angry about several things that had NOTHING to do with the current situation. I also knew intuitively, the other person was having a bad day. Needless to say, when I made it home I was fighting all sorts of emotions, curse words, and even threw my purse! (Whoa!). I don’t like to get upset because it takes me a long time to calm down. I am more upset at myself in situations like this because I pride myself of self control and then I realized…just now, as I type, that self control is a PRACTICE. Practice makes mature and you have less of these experiences, BUT you are not exempt from emotional outbursts. At least, I am not. I may never completely be able to never have a “moment”, as you see I am not striving for perfection or denial of any emotions. I am only striving to be the best me, not the perfect me. However, what happened today cannot happen again…EVER.
Here is an article that I wanted to share for those who are empaths or those who are interested in knowing what one is. I could relate to all but number 6. I just want to add this is probably one reason why it takes me so long to rid myself of the impact of negative energy or too many energies. I have to forgive myself for to day and let the energies of the day seep out like a deflating balloon.