My Top 12 Lessons of 2022: Lesson #1″I’m Not the Problem”

These are my top 12 lessons from my personal growth journey this year. I share in hopes to help someone or to give a different perspective to the human experience.

We always hear, “Work on yourself. Do the work. It’s an inside job. You’re only attracting what you are.” First let me say that the last one really gets under my skin. I am not a liar or cheater. I don’t play games. I’m not many of things I get in the people I attract. So, “I don’t believe we always attract what we are. Even moths and other insects are attracted to light.”-Nicole Jackson. There’s room for expounding the last statement “we attract what we are”.

Secondly, I learned that I was not the problem in a “relationship” and there was nothing holding me back from a healthy relationship. But it was the other party’s own lack of healing, growth, confusion, and lack of honesty within themselves and to me that was holding them back from having a healthy relationship with me. What a relief that was. When I stopped jumping through hoops, I felt free. As a creative that is an empath and subject to take this deeply personal, there was something within that said, “Hey. Don’t take it personal. This person has a right to not commit for whatever reasons and they also aren’t ready to be with anyone. So, don’t take it personally.” I didn’t miss a beat. I kept right on with my projects and my life and it happened 3 days before Valentine’s Day!

My friends gathered around to coddle me but were surprised when I told them I was happy. I was relieved. I was glad this on and off again saga finally has come to an end. I was free. I was detached. No strings. I burned them. The individual and I remain associates. I had to remove our friendship dynamic as it was the bridge that kept us going back and forth. We are cordial and that is it.

TOP LESSON NUMBER ONE I LEARNED; I AM NOT THE PROBLEM. So many times, we try to figure out what is wrong with us and what we can do to make things work. It can’t work if the other piece is broken and doesn’t want to be fixed or can’t see they need some work.

~Nikki