I know for some it may seem the chaos is not letting up. Where are you on your intentions or goals for the year? Spring is near and for me it’s the “new” year. I may have written my intentions for the year on the Gregorian calendar but, this is the point where I begin to re-evaluate as things become clearer.

What is it that life has been telling us since January? What in our action plan needs to be removed or tweaked? What needs to be a priority? Because priorities shift. I thought one of my actionable items was to find more spring and summer opportunities for my crocheting. Now, I am thinking, I really need to put more into my writing, into my becoming a best selling author. How do I become as focused as I used to be? Maybe one spring show and one summer show will be fine. Because if I spend all my time crocheting for spring and summer, when will I have time for my major season (fall and winter)? And when will I learn to sew? And when will I learn to swim? Is this the season? What’s going to happen now since my brother who was a minister passed away? Will I be called upon to come back to church and help? I don’t want to be under the rule of the current administration at church.

So, as you can see, maybe you, maybe I will need to rethink some things as life has been challenging us to alignment and different perspectives. Last night, I was in between awake and sleep. I saw my phone in my hand I was looking at the funeral program photos that were in my phone. I heard my brother’s voice say, “Look up top” and I almost jumped out of my skin!!! When I got up out of bed, I kept saying, “Look up top. Look up top.” What does that mean? Is he telling me to look at the top of the program? Is there a scripture that talks about the top of something? Look up top. Then it clicked! Look up the word “top”.

I did but what was he trying to say? I thought about the things you were supposed to think about when you have a dream. How were you feeling before or that day? How were you feeling during the dream? What were you thinking? And I realized I’d written the obituary that day. I had written notes to him and notes for him from my parents. I remember thinking only the best for Bobby as I picked up paper items for the repass. I remember looking at the final program and thinking, “This is so nice. It is perfect. I wish he was here though. I’d rather have you here than to be doing this.” I remember I felt like crying on the way home.

Look up top. Look up above what you see and what you feel to find a different perspective. Rethink what is happening and what you want to do in this season. Maybe it is a loss but, there are also gains. Maybe it seemed like a good idea but now things have changed and you need to pivot. Rethink. And get to moving.

~Nikki