Poem: On the Verge

Photo by Dziana Hasanbekava on Pexels.com

I am exhausted from being a daughter, a mother, a teacher, a preacher, a sister, a friend, a shoulder to cry on, a listening ear

A sounding board, a punching bag, a punchline, a woman, a black woman, an adult, a spiritual being having a human experience, can you hear?

I don’t care what you need from me, I don’t have it to give

Take your blame, take your shame, take my name out of your mouth

I could care less than a damn what you are talking about

Is that harsh? And so are your demands on my time and my mind

I have lost myself and the rage is making me blind

I am on the verge of depression

Miles from a much-needed therapy session

I’m having thoughts about wishing I never existed

Thoughts of why I ever enlisted

To come to this place called earth

Whose idea was it for a rebirth?

I’d scream my head off if I didn’t need it

But I’ll just say I am fine and you’ll believe it

Because nothing can ever be wrong with me

As if you are the only one that needs to be free

Free from responsibility and tasks and drama and reality

I am going to escape this place and dive into fantasy

I’m packing my bags. DO NOT DISTURB. DO NOT WAIT until I get back

Solve it or seek a professional as a matter of fact

I’m on the verge, the verge of change and evolution

I am on the hinge of a permanent solution

I’m going to cry a river and set sail

Inhale, exhale, and wail

by Nicole Jackson

Sunday Morning Coffee Musing: I Rise with Power

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I am grateful for another morning. I rise with power (after coffee lol but really I rise with power before coffee). Power to do right. Power to love right. Power to get wealth. Power to be my authentic self in a world that wants me to “do me” but not unless I do me like them? Power to be soft and bold. Good Morning. Don’t know where all of that came from but I flowed with it.

Sunday Morning Coffee Musings: Flawed Diamonds Do Shine

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My Coffee Mug, Crochet Hook, Yarn

Flawed Diamonds Do Shine by Nicole Jackson 7/27/18

Flawed diamonds are very common A perfect diamond is rare

These situations, tribulations, burdens, pressures of life are things WE ALL SHARE

For who can travel this life unscathed?

A girl is born, but a woman is often made

They say what doesn’t kill you makes stronger, but there are times I feel as though I am being buried alive!

Abba! Abba! Father! I have cried. Under these circumstances how do you expect me to thrive?

It’s dark in here!

And the Master Jeweler replies: “Yes, it is my dear.”

And it’s hot! I can’t breathe! And I am falling apart again!

And the Master Jeweler replies:

High temperatures and pressures you may crack, but you will not break, I need the light to get in.

Trust me, the Master Jeweler. I am expertly skilled in my trade. I formed you. Designed you. Carefully, with great detail, you are wonderfully made.

I cut, repair, adjust, and inspect. I heal, I cover, I lovingly correct.

I have prepared this season. I have set forth this time.

A diamond is a diamond and flawed diamonds do shine!

~Nikki

My poem may be shared, but not copied, printed, or altered without my permission. Thanks.

 

Poetry Confetti: Untitled

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The heart wants

The heart needs

The brain taunts

Action proceeds

I’m getting nowhere and I am getting there fast

Nothing comes easy and when he does it doesn’t last

It’s an endless cycle. I hardly can cope

Letting go feels like giving up hope

As I struggle with how to keep hope on a respirator

The light in my heart is being supported by a generator

Love wails

Romance sails

Off into the distance

Against the tears of resistance

~Nikki 3/19/2017

 

 

soul Scattered

 

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Soul Scattered ©2016 by Nikki aka F.Y.E

When the soul breaks it shatters into infinite pieces

You see the heart can be mended but the soul has to me recreated

I felt the burdens weigh me down

I saw the tears form an ocean on the ground

More on me than I could bare

And now I am broken.

Hopeless never was my destination

Yet it pulled on my mind like a magnet

I wonder why I was made like this

In a world of oxygen I still find myself breathless

I’d cry if it didn’t make me look as weak as I feel

I’d tell you all about it but my sadness will make you ill

 

I hold on. They tell me I will survive

I search endlessly for a way to thrive

My heart is unearthed

While waiting on my soul to be re-birthed

©2016

~Nikki

 

Lesson. By Nikki

 

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Lesson. By Nikki aka F.Y.E ©2014
Bury your heart deep in me
I will keep it safe with me
She may have loved you
But she never loved you
She was thinking of him
Never thinking of you
I can’t pay for another woman’s
Mistake
I can’t pay for your pain
But if the student is ready
I can teach you how to love
Again

 

~Nikki

Quiet. The City Rain Speaks.

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Quiet. The city rain waters down the hustle and bustle of city life

Hush. I’ll silence the never ending to do list and lower the notch of the hype

I’ll wash the leaves of trees so you’ll notice they’re alive and thriving

As you rip and run merely surviving

I’ll soak the earth to soak your feet

Reminding you to remember me

Slow down. Pay attention to the NOW time

As the rain drops tap the pavement and ease your mind

I’ve been chatting all day and well into the evening

After midnight I’ll be leaving

But not before I tell you a bedtime story while resting on your window seal

About how all your dreams can come true and how wounds can be healed

Quiet now Dear, The City Rain Speaks of peace.

-Nikki aka F.Y.E the Poetess

Brought to you by the letter Floral Letter _Q_ Art Print by Christennoelle _ Society6