My daughter and I can have some of the best conversations but, our communication seems to get crossed often. I knew it was because we kind of have the same communication skills and we kind of do not. Let me explain. She communicates with me like I communicated with others when I was younger. Vague. Without detail and sometimes pertinent information. However, we are detailed when it comes to other things. I had to learn how to give more information, less information, the right type of information. She is much better than she used to be. I mean, she’s a young adult and contrary to popular belief, she is STILL LEARNING and BECOMING an adult.

I learned today that she communicates more strategically on the job than she does at home. She said she still is communicating with me like a teenager instead of a young adult. And I was surprised! (This was said as we were discussing our communication problem on Thursday evening the following Friday morning). But when I thought about it, I got it because most adults still communicate with their parents like they are children instead of adults. In many cases we revert back to teens in our communication. But we do not do this in the world with other adults or other authority figures. I don’t (no longer) do this with my parents because I have established myself as their adult child and not their teen. I have established myself as an adult, grown so to speak. They have to respect the adult me and I respect the adult them. I don’t shrink in front of my parents. There is a level of respect, or should be, on both sides.

We also decided that mornings are NOT the best time for us to talk about any issues we have with each other. I am not a morning person for heavy conversations that involve problem solving and thinking. I am up but I am not “at it” yet. She is the same plus getting off of work in the morning from a stressful job adds to her moodiness.

“I do not copy” is when something comes over the radio or air waves and the person says “copy!” as if they got it. They understand. The morning we were having the discussion, the day it happened, neither one of us “copied”. It was creating agitation on top of agitation. Now that I am aware of this “teen” communication (facial expressions, attitude, aloofness) when I see it or run into it, I will stop and say, “let’s come back to this later.”

Copy?

~Nikki