Would That You Might Pray?

“You pray in your distress and in your need. Would that you might pray also in the fullness of your joy and in your days of abundance?”- Kahlil Gibran.

As I slept last night a pain woke me up. It was like a shock through my left foot moving upward and landed in my left shoulder. I knew it was fibromyalgia. Still half asleep I felt pain in my shoulder blades and in my wrists. I realized they had gone numb and I reached for my braces for the carpel tunnel. I wanted to take some pain medicine, but I just couldn’t seem to get out of bed. I dozed off and on until the wee hours of the morning. I knew if I would have taken the pain medication, plus I’d already taken a sleep aid, I would be no good in the morning. When I did get up….I was still no good this morning. I could not push through the tiredness like I did yesterday.

After breakfast I sat down on my bed and when I woke up it was almost noon. I felt so bad about needing rest and so guilty the Holy Spirit must have felt it necessary to whisper “It is okay to need the rest. It is okay to rest. You are not lazy. You are tired from the pain.” I prayed and I thanked God for strength, energy, rest, for my body. I thanked God for my creativity and for the ability to write my first two novels.

I got up from my nap and I read the next chapter in the book I am using to help me excavate my authentic self:

“You pray in your distress and in your need. Would that you might pray also in the fullness of your joy and in your days of abundance?”- Kahlil Gibran.

I wondered if I had prayed the right thing as my mind went immediately to “I don’t feel joy and now is not a time of abundance.” Then I thought wait, let me think. Oh!  Yes it is! I don’t have to wait until money rolls in to know I have abundance or for my books to become best sellers or movies to have joy. I already have these things. So yes! Yes I can pray in the fullness of my joy that I once almost died on an operating table and I am still alive! I can pray with thankfulness and gratitude in the fullness of the joy that I have shelter, food, and clothing. I have family. I have friends that care. I have creativity and I love it sooooooooo much! I have a beautiful daughter and I love her soooooo much! So yes…I might pray also in the fullness of my joy and in my days of abundance…right now.

~Nikki