Sunday Morning Coffee Musings: What About Men? What about Me?

I usually reflect on Women’s History Month reflecting on women who are not highlighted as much or those whom I admire. This year I have been thinking about my own history and legacy. You know, man or woman, we all have a history and will leave a legacy famous, infamous or not.

I recall twice in my life where I was questioned about my calling which leans heavily towards helping and empowering women. I have had two men to ask me, “What about men?” One in particular asked about single fathers and the other I am sure wanted me to include men in my mission. The one whom asked about the single fathers gave me something to think about as I could actually see both sides. I have brothers. I have brothers who have been divorced and struggled to gain access to their children. The other seem to want me to broaden my scope to include men. I asked him why does he not start something to include both men and women. I never got an answer and I have not seen any action or organization from him.

Yet, these things stayed stuck in the back of mind and have caused me to try to include men in spaces where women only felt comfortable or needed to be addressed. Now that I think of it, where are men not taking up space and dominant on this planet? Always controlling the narrative of women and their bodies, roles in society. Always seeking to be superior in intellect, knowledge, education, and wisdom. All of the books written by men about women, all of the science studied on white men and setting health science around it is…intelligent? Is not enough? Women had to sneak to wash clothes at wells and rives to have conversations about life and children. Men, always wanting to know what you and your girls are talking about. They don’t want you to get any “ideas”. Seems to me, since we are not all that bright per them, they wouldn’t be concerned about any of our ideas we might get among each other.

Whew. Take a breath Nikki and come back to center. Moving forward, I will lean heavily into where I feel I am needed the most without second guessing myself. And speaking in areas that involve men from my perspective and experience, research, etc. per usual when I am called to do so. I honestly prefer more of a unified approach to bridging the gap between men and women. We are equal but, different. And yet the same in many ways. I think when men or women empower the same sex people tend to think you must hate the opposite sex. I think that can only be true if you are bashing the opposite sex.

~Nikki