I’m speaking of my intuition, the gut feeling or the Holy Spirit. I had a very challenging week and weekend. I have one more event to go to in hopes of selling some of my crochet pieces. I only should have did three as you may have heard me say but, I didn’t listen to that gut feeling or that voice. It was wiser than me and I have been paying the price.

When I arrived Saturday to the event, I knew things had taken a toll on me because I was thinking before I arrived, “I am ready to go home. I don’t want to be here.” Usually, I am much more upbeat or positive. And if not, hopeful. I was numb. I was simply ready to leave. And this week, I think I am only motivated because it’s the last one. I am not too concerned about inventory because I didn’t do well (and that is ok) last Saturday. I hope I do well this Saturday but, I don’t care if I do. I just want to get this over with. Of course, I will put on my smile and friendly comes natural to me. So, that’s not big deal. But, I hate not truly feeling into it.

Spirit knew best. I knew less. I am so wired to doing, pushing, this doing I couldn’t imagine only doing three. I would have been okay without more. I would have been okay with one. I would have been okay financially is what I want to say but, afraid to type. I am not wealthy. I am paying off debt. But, I didn’t have to sacrifice my body and mind. I didn’t know what all would occur or what this season would entail. I now think about giving it all up. The side hustle that is. This saddens me. But, I know this isn’t the time to make drastic decisions. It’s never good to make decisions when you are stressed, overwhelmed, in pain, or ill.

~Nikki