It’s been a while since I have been blocked creatively. I didn’t know what to do at first. I just didn’t have the energy to create and I was not feeling inspired. It feels more like a creative mountain range than a creative block. One moment I am inspired and the next moment, I am not. So, what have I done about it?

I didn’t fight it. Well, I should say, I stopped fighting it. I decided to not take as many vending opportunities as I normally do. This was the hardest part. I had to admit to myself; I don’t have the inventory and I don’t have the capacity to overwork myself to catch up. I can’t do it because of increased caregiving duties. And that too, is something I am trying not to resent. I will miss out on money I need and it really frustrates me. I also have to turn down more custom requests because I am too busy trying to prepare for other in person events. It does make me sad.

I try to watch videos or read books to inspire me or help my healing and understanding. I listen to podcasts and sermongs or channels that are about what I am dealing with and it helps me. I look at videos about artists or crocheting. I look at videos and read things that are relevant to my current situation.

I take breaks. I step away. I tell myself this is not a time that you will catch up and exceed by overworking yourself. This is going to be a time where you have just enough and that will be good enough. It has to be for my sanity. I am used to making great sacrifices and paying with my body and mind. But no, not this time. I can’t afford it healthwise.

I am mindful and gracious. I remind myself that God has always provided for me. I have always found a way. I remain grateful for what I have and I acknowledge my accomplishments great and small. I have had some small victories this year and instead of being down about not succeeding in leaps and bounds, I count my small wins. I despise them not. I remind myself, given the circumstances, I am doing okay as far as production for the shows I will attend.

I have set a routine and made dedicated time to projects for the most part. This helps to keep me moving along. When I don’t know what I am doing for the day, I waste time on the wrong things. As I am typing this, I have not scheduled my day! It’s evening time and I have had a rough time this morning with my dad who has Parkinson’s. My morning was throwed off. And I am certain, more drama is coming this evening. Yet, I will block out 2 hours for intense work. I will ask them to refer all questions and requests to my other siblings.

I take power naps from 30-60 minutes when I have been up the night before caregiving or when I simply don’t get proper rest because of insomnia or pain-somnia. I take a nap if I was up the night before working. I have to give myself permission to do that. I have to see it as taking care of my body and mind and not laziness. Being run down doesn’t help me overall. It doesn’t help me create and it doesn’t help me to be a kind human being (I get grumpy!). I am already fighting caregiver burnout. There is no awards for setting yourself on fire and burning out just to prove to yourself or others how committed and dedicated you are. I have to ask are seeking validation or praise from others? I was. I was trying to live up to, “You’re such a hard worker. I don’t know how you do it all.”

This is what I have learned during this year about my creativity wanning. I have not painted this year at all! I have baked. I am crocheting now. I have learned some new things and tried some new recipes. That is another thing, try something new or learn something new. It helps with your creativity and inspiration. So does proper REM sleep!

~Nikki