Yesterday, I felt a tinge of loneliness. This how I describe it, a “tinge”. It wasn’t heavily present but it came and it went. It’s the seasons of Autumn and Winter officially known as CUDDLE BUDDY weather. If you have someone to cuddle with, great. If you don’t, then this could be lonely or it could be great lol. So, what do the singles in the crowd of singles that are not okay with this do? What do we do if we are not cool just having someone in our space for the sake of a season? I guess I don’t feel people are disposable and I don’t wish to be “used” and discarded after the seasons. I am also not interested into jumping into a relationship for the sake of having someone during this time. Yes, it does happen and I think it’s human nature. If you look at it, fall and winter bring about seasonal depression with it’s seasonal changes of darker ours.

So, back to the matter at hand. Two years ago, I experienced seasonal depression for the first time. It was not severe but very subtle and I noticed I could be okay during the day but as soon as the dusk began, I felt sadness and loneliness. I felt anxious and down. It dawned on me this is what it was. I worked in the healthcare field and I had some patience who experienced this in the fall and winter. This is different from sundown syndrome which is year round. But what happened yesterday was in the daylight.

Loneliness can strike at anytime for numerous reasons. Here are several ways I deal with it.

• Ignore it and go on with my plans for the day. Many times it disappears.
• I journal about it.
• I watch TV shows or a movie that has nothing to do with romance. It’s more comedy, drama, or action or podcast. If I feel romantic, which I am a huge romantic, I can watch those movies no problem. But if I am feeling lonely, I do not watch those movies. It does not improve my mood!
• Add in an extra meditation to keep me grounded
• I revisit what I want in a relationship. I look at my relationship manifesto (I don’t know why I just laughed at this). But, it helps me to remember that I am not single my force but, by choice. A healthy relationship is better than any kind of relationship of convenience. At least, for me.
• Hang out with family or friends
• Immerse myself in my crafts or hobbies
• I will take a melatonin before bed. I need to sleep and not think too much. If I know I have been avoiding this feeling or even if I have addressed it, acknowledged it, it can come back right before bed. Hello, my name is Nikki and I am an overthinker, a woman that deals with anxiety and depression. Intrusive, ruminating thoughts are not my friend.
• I tell myself it’s normal to feel loneliness. It’s not good to be lonely. That is a whole other thing.

Honestly, if you don’t ever feel loneliness, I am not interested in you telling me that. I don’t think any of us that feel lonely at times are interested in you not feeling it. We are more interested in you understanding or sharing how you move through it. Even if it’s something I have mentioned.

~Nikki