Sunday Morning Coffee Musing: “IT”

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I had every intention of going to church this morning. Sunday School included. But, it’s not happening. I am not afraid to say I think it’s mental, emotional, and physical fatigue. Waking up to hip pain didn’t help but really it wasn’t a factor. I think it’s depression, I think it’s the blues, I think it’s boredom. I think it’s been a long time coming because I have seen it before. The snowball of EVERYTHING and here is the strange thing, I still feel the Christmas spirit in the midst. It just so happens that the past few months have caught up with me…I think. I guess. One day isn’t going to fix it. And the truth be told, for the first time ever, unrelated to being single during this time, I can’t wait until the holidays are over. There. I said it. But…I don’t even know if it’s holiday related or if the holidays have exasperated it. This “it.”

I know I am not the only one. Many get like this. It’s just too much of everything and it could be seasonal or it could be totally unrelated. So, what will I do today to get through it. I think I shouldn’t try so hard, push so hard to get through it. I think I should just ease through it. I am getting that this is not the time to barrel through. I feel in my own spirit that this is a delicate time. It’s going to require some honesty about some monumental things in my life that people may not be able to handle, but I can’t die spiritually to make others happy.

~Nikki

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