Letting Others Choose What Makes Them Happy, Even if it Makes You Less Than Enthused



I do believe in doing what makes you happy and there are times that what makes you happy will not make others happy and well, vice versa. You have to remember this when people choose to do what makes them happy! It may be our children, a relative, a parent, a sibling, or a close friend. Even if we know, the outcome may not be good for them. We don’t have to accept it or we can accept it. Either way, we should respect it.

We cannot control others lives even if their lives are stressing the hell out of us. As a matter of fact, we have to learn not to let their lives stress the hell out of us! It’s not my job to choose a person’s path to learn lessons in this life and it’s not their job to choose my path on how I learn in this life. We may be allowed to provide light and water, fertilize, but we do not choose how they will grow, when or if at all! As I get older, I start to focus more on doing what makes me happy, lining up what makes me happy within my faith’s standards and understanding that God gives us all some lead way based on our own personalities and desires. Making doughnuts may make you happy. Teaching a women’s bible study may bring you great happiness. Having a wine tasting party may make you happy. Witnessing to others, going to a prison ministry, etc. may make you happy. Traveling the world may make you happy. Choosing the one YOU love and adore may make you happy. It is your choice and your consequences. It is not mines. Have no need to make others enjoy your happiness.

You argue it’s a sin! They are wrong! They are headed down the wrong path! Speak your peace when you need to in an effort to guide others, not to control others. Try to reach them yes…control them no. Quote your scripture to guide others, not to control others and then be at peace! I know it’s not that simple…but it can be.

NOTE: We are not talking about evil and maliciousness. We are talking life choices. Although, so do choose a path leading to death, unhappiness, and prison. Even in those people’s lives, I believe someone tried to reach them, guide them, shed light and water their souls. I hope.


The Language & Attitude of Believers:Oh Ye Tares!


The language and attitude of a believer in the body of Christ should be a language and an attitude that reflects Christ. It should be evident that you are absorbing the teaching and preaching going forth in that church. You represent Christ. You represent your church. You should want to represent the best version of yourself.

If your language and attitude is baptized in negativity it is because you have heartened your heart and the Word of God can not penetrate your rocky, stony heart! Every time the church or others want to do something you open your mouth to speak: “That will not happen. They don’t want to advance. They will never be able to do that! This church is not going anywhere!”

Dear, tares of the Church, don’t you want to be a wheat? We are going to grow up around you and God will remove your negative, bad energy spirit. How God will do it? I am not sure. But it will be done.

I wonder why these people sit in a church with such a terrible attitude and such language of gloom and doom. And as I mentioned it is because their hearts are hardened, they do not allow the Word of God to penetrate their heart, they are tares! Either you are going to continue to speak this way and produce this in your own life and in your church making it difficult for the church to advance or you are going to do the WORK of changing your stony heart and funky disposition. Don’t be a HINDERANCE to the body of Christ, be a HELP!




There is an appointed time for certain things and no matter how bad you want it to hurry up and arrive, no matter what you try to do to speed up the time, it’s not going to get there any faster. God, the Universe, has a set time for certain manifestations, destinies, freedoms, and victories.

I remember wanting to be free from a certain contract and it took almost a year because the person refused to sign a release form. It was hell waiting it out. Until, I decided it would get here when it got here. I went on doing the best I could to live my life, focus on the good times, and being a mother.

A few days ago I received the exact court date of my hearing for disability. I didn’t know how I felt about it as I was hoping the judge would approve without me going to court. It’s been 2 years and 6 months. The proof is before him. I opted to have a neutral feeling about it until I could process my emotions. I’d already talked to my therapist about my feelings. So, the next day, I decided to claim it as a day of victory and not obsess over it. It’s the set time, an appointed time, that I cannot change. I have to remind myself that I and my legal team have done everything in the natural. It is up to God to do the supernatural at the appointed time.


Knowing Right, Doing Wrong


Remember, it is sin to know what you ought to do and not do it. -James 4:17

Even if you are not a Christian, and I say this because some can’t respond to truth unless it’s under their faith, you could read this scripture and understand it. Recently, when correcting someone about doing something wrong, I was told by them that they were grown and could do what they wanted to do. I immediately noted the immaturity in this statement because grown as in size and age, is no indication to grown as in maturity. We use all kinds of excuses to continue to do the things we want to do whether it is breaking our own spiritual laws or the laws of the land in which we live. I guess for some it is the only way they can feel powerful, but in reality the need to violate spiritual laws or laws of the land to feel powerful is a sure sign you are not. At the end of the day, per my religion, when we have full knowledge of right and wrong, and do not do what is right…it is a sin.


Sunday Morning Coffee Musing: Jesus Walks



Looking through the lenses of a pastor’s child, you see the ends and outs of ministry. As a child I remember going, sometimes being dragged here, there and everywhere with my parents and the church. It was like a vagabond experience when I was young, you know, wherever I laid my head on a pew was my pillow for that service! We were visiting different churches, he was doing revivals, in and out of town, there were evening programs, there were conventions and congresses to attend. I remember it and I grew to understand it. I grew to respect it. I grew to enjoy many of these things as I started to participate and comprehend these things.

As I see some in ministry, even the ministry of helps, running themselves raggedy in the name of Jesus, I see worn out human beings running on Jesus Juice and Holy Ghost Caffeine. Some are stretched and stressed. Some are broken. Some can’t be still because to be still means you are not doing anything and well, that’s sort of kind of the point. Some, when they are still, there is no “peace” in their peace be still.  Their minds are like a broken wind up toy…still going. And some can’t be still because they are trying to prove themselves worthy and move on up the ladder of ministry. They can’t say no to “whatever” others in ministry ask them to do and they certainly can’t say no their leaders, because well, they may lose their position or it’s like saying no to God himself! (dangerous territory). Oh the guilt and shame of being…tired. The shame of growing old and saying: “Here, let someone younger take the wheel” before the wheels fall off. The reluctance of some leaders to designate roles to their disciples. I don’t think Jesus set the table, prepared the food, washed dishes, made the campfire, pitched the tent, etc. just because he could if he wanted to. I mean what was the point of having a crew if you were going to do all the work. And could you imagine one of them telling Jesus “I have been cooking every night. I am tired. Get Peter to do it.” No, you can’t. I can. It probably would have been me. I don’t think I would have been fired either. I think Jesus would have understood.

Side note: I think Jesus was the kind of leader that could read his disciples. I think a good leader would never abuse the willingness of his staff to serve.

Jesus walks. His steps were ordered. I don’t read of him frantic about everywhere he went. It’s almost as if his directions were calculated, orchestrated, and obligated. I do believe he also had some leadway as to where he went and wanted to go. Why? Because I don’t believe God is into micromanaging us.  And even in all of that, he rested and went on a sabbatical. He went to sleep on a ship. We think he stayed up the entire time he was here on the planet. We think he did those things we read back to back to back to back…one chapter after the other.  There was time and space in between those things.

Jesus walks.


BEHOLD: The Three Dimensional Christian


I’ll never forget I was at an entrepreneurial event and a young man stood up to introduce himself. He said he was a minister, he had a non-profit, he ran a lawn service (I think) and he was a bartender. Yes…a bartender. You heard the roar of laughter and the remarks were “You can’t be a minister and a bartender! How is that? What?” Well, apparently you can because he was and is. I hope he didn’t stop bartending just because of that. So, I guess no bartenders are saved or believers in Christ. I guess if they are, they have not been delivered.

In my mind you have traditional and devout Christians that adhere to their strict beliefs and denominational rules. And many times they not only judge the world, they judge other Christians of different beliefs and denominations. Let me be blunt, it’s pathetic and secondly it’s immature. And more harmfully, it’s divisive. The church period has been known to toot their own horn. Proudfully, pointing out the sins they don’t do to the world and shamefully pointing out the sins of others. Therefore, presenting this one dimensional Christian to the world. As soon as you say you are a Christian, the world and other Christians expect you to be a particular way and share the same beliefs as all other Christians. AND IF NOT….you’re damned by the church and you are damned by the world. You know, the immature section of the world and the immature section of the Christian world. But be of good cheer, you’re not damned by God just because you exercise your liberty, your will, and your ability to have a good time on this earth differently. And no, I am not talking about breaking bad from your core beliefs as a Christian.

In all honesty, and this is just my blog and me talking, I think they both should grow up. Perhap, the world should see they are being just as judgemental as “those” Christians. Touche! I visit Vegas almost every year and you should see some of the faces of Christians and non-Christians when I mention Vegas. “There is nothing there to do but gamble. You must be gambling!” and then from the non-Christians “You’re a Christian. What are you doing in Vegas?” I sigh. The ignorance among these two groups can be unbearable at times.

I don’t adhere to all of the rules and regulations of the traditional church and nor do I agree with all of the rules and regulations of the non-traditional church. Neither am I middle of the road or lukewarm so you don’t have to worry about me being spewed out. I’m not on a higher level or lower level. I am just on a different path and I have a different relationship with God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. I don’t question your relationship. I don’t know what you three have going on. My personality is not yours. Your limitations are not mine. My freedom is not yours. I enjoy cocktails. I can wear a bathing suit and I’d wear a bikini if I could. I like “secular” music. I enjoy it daily. I go to clubs sometimes and I hit the dance floor with a live band. I write books with scenes that may make some saints faint at the very thought of what happens in the REAL life of REAL people they KNOW…heck…might be them if they were honest. I curse sometimes. Sometimes I turn up rap music and nod my head in the car. Sometimes I turn up gospel music and get the holy ghost as they say. I am unbothered by other people’s choice of religion. I like my choice, do you like yours? You probably think your light shines brighter and it’s purer because you don’t do a lot of things you see others doing. Just that very thought alone is problematic and perhaps you’re not as bright as you claim. That’s okay. Not all lights are bright. I’m just happy those in darkness can see a light. What matters to me is how you treat others. What matters to me is how you show compassion. What matters to me is that you represent Christ and not your own personal biases, laundry list of do’s and don’ts, imposing your personal beliefs on us that are just being who God created us to be. Not matter what you believe and without your approval.