I used to think that when I asked or talked to God about something and God gives me an answer that seems unrelated, way out in left field, God didn’t care about what I was talking about. Since I’ve grown, I have learned that it means these things thus far:
1. I hear you but that’s not the pressing issue right now. We’ll get to that later.
2. I’m telling you this, showing you this, because this is what I want you to focus on.
3. Let me take you forward and then back to what you were talking about and it will all make since soon.
4. This is a piece of the puzzle. Hold that until you find the other piece. Let’s go on an adventure to the answer. Guided footsteps. (Sometimes, I don’t “be” feeling like going though! )
5. That is the answer. Look again.
6. That’s not your business.
7. You wouldn’t understand it right now. Wait until you grow some more.
8. I’ll tell you when you get to the next realm and even then you wouldn’t care as much about it as you do now. So, be at peace with never knowing some things and never understanding some things. (How? Trust God. Accept the peace Jesus willed to us.)
Let’s say you are driving down a street and ahead you witness an accident. You pull over and get out of your car. You run to the scene and the first thing you do is:
A. Check to see if those involved are the same race as you
B. Check to see if they share the same religion as you
C. Check to see if they share the same political party as you
You don’t do any of those things unless you have some sort of evil embedded in you. The only thing that matters at that time is if the person is okay and if not, how can you assist. Why does it take some sort of crisis for you to not care about those things? I think you should not care about those things when it comes to REPECTING others’ beliefs and ACCEPTING others as HUMAN BEINGS created by GOD per your religion or belief system. If your belief system doesn’t teach you to cherish other human beings and their lives and to care about their overall well-being then you need to find a new religion or belief system.
According to a new study, people who live in diverse communities tend to identify with all of humanity and help others more. A research team led by Krishna Savani and Jared Nai of Singapore Management University reports people who live in such areas are more inclined to voluntarily help others. This reflects the fact that they are more likely to identify with all of humanity, and therefore “see the world as a family.”- Tom Jacobs https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/are_people_kinder_in_racially_diverse_neighborhoods
I didn’t live in a diverse neighborhood but, I did have other races and religions in my neighborhood. In fact, I grew up next door to three white women who became our family. I now live in their house as the remaining sister called me up to ask me if I wanted to buy her house since I was always next door helping my parents. She now lives in her hometown where my daughter attends college. I grew up with neighbors, mostly black and maybe about 3-4 white families, Christian, Muslim, and non-religious that would tell on us or correct us if we were doing things we should not have been doing as children. We also spent the night at each other’s home and we just followed their lead as to what to do. No one required us to worship their God, choose a political party or talk about our race.
When I went out into the real world as a young adult, on my first job, I experience my first “racist and prejudice” environment working at JCPenney in the stock room. About a year ago, I saw the lady, my supervisor, that was as prejudice and racist as they came. I wanted to tell her a thing or two but I simply moved along. I can also tell you that I experience prejudice towards a disability by a black school teacher. My dad handled that situation as the school teacher was actually a neighbor. I remember being told to leave the room as my dad was on the phone with her. She was so kind to me after that. It was when I was first diagnosed with Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis.
As two black women and two white women peers through the windows of a closed business that is putting up sale signs because they are going out business, we discuss what we want and point out things. Then we stand around deciding which day we should come back and what percentage we think the clearance will start. We share tips. We don’t think about anything else. We are only concerned about shopping and bargains and the disappointment of the store leaving our area. At that moment, these are things that bond us.
As always, I don’t really care about your beliefs or nonbelief, I care that you LOVE. I care that you SHOW KINDNESS and COMPASSION and work to remove anything in you that does not allow you to do those things. These beliefs that ALL of a group of people are “this or that” way is NOT TRUE. These conversations, judgements, and lies passed down from generation to generation about a group of people need to be removed and discarded from your consciousness. The things your radical uncles or aunts told you about certain groups need to be sorted and held as opinions and not facts. YES, have discernment because there is bad and evil everywhere in every race.
I’ll never forget I had to correct an elder that was at my daughter’s birthday party over 12 years ago. She said, “Who is this little Hispanic girl? You know they love to eat up everything! It’s a shame you had to meet her mom and help her get here (I literally left the party to meet the mom because she was lost). They couldn’t speak English.” I was shocked and instantly angry. I shot back, “Listen to yourself! So, I guess black people don’t eat a lot. I guess white people don’t eat a lot either. When I go to the grocery store, I see baskets full from all races. She is my daughter’s friend and a very good one. Her mom is very sweet and brave to trust me with her daughter. We don’t talk that kind of talk in my home.” I blew a fuse! But not in front of the children and I am glad they were so far from us and having a ball they didn’t overhear us.
I can tell you that person is not the same as they were then. They have changed but it was not because of me. It was because of their walk with Christ.
John 13:34-35 New International Version
34 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. 35 By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”
At its core, inner work is the process of getting to know yourself. It’s a form of introspective self-care where you can help yourself let go of harmful attachments, habits, people, and thoughts. -brainmd.com
The most important relationship you can have is the one you have with yourself. It determines how you treat yourself, how you treat others, and how you allow others to treat you. I did some research and along with my personal experience, came up with some signs you may need to work on yourself. I’ll say after reading some of this I can tell you that WE ALL probably need to do some inner work.
Inner work can be scary and daunting because it requires you to take an honest look at yourself. When was the last time you were honest with yourself about yourself and NOT blamed others or came up with excuses for your behavior or thoughts? You can’t control others but you can learn to control your responses. And even after you become aware or honest, what do you do about it? Shrug your shoulders? Apologize over and over and secretly say to yourself, “Why do I keep doing that?” Maybe it’s not your behavior that’s an indication that you need help or to work on yourself. Maybe it’s your obsessive worrying that is anxiety. Maybe it’s your mood swings you can’t explain but expect everyone around you to just deal with it or get used to it.
You think negatively or have a negative view about yourself/other people, gender, cultures, etc
You suffer from anxiety and depression
You’ve had a traumatic change in your health
You’re going through or have been through a rough patch in your life
Your childhood was not the best and deep down you suspect it has impacted your thinking. other relationships and your behavior
You don’t treat yourself with respect and/or you don’t treat others with respect
You are in an unhealthy relationship
You allow people to take advantage of you
You have unreasonable expectations of yourself and others
You are unhappy with your life
You are a habitual giver and you give more than you can afford or have to give. This includes time.
There is a persistent feeling of emptiness, unfulfillment, or failure
You have anger issues
These are just a few examples. Have you ever read a book, talked to a spiritual leader, or therapist because you knew you needed to do some inner work? If you don’t mind sharing, what were some of your signs?
There will be many things going on this year but, I believe people will begin to work on themselves whether it’s personal development or healing. It may be deepening or returning to their spiritual practice, buying self-help books or taking courses to help improve their life on many levels. Last year I discovered that I had more healing to do and I was ready to get on with it for good. I meant; I was ready to heal completely in this area. I do recall asking God how much more healing and letting go does one need to do?! How long will this take?!!! Ugh! I thought I was done. I’ve been talking about it and dealing with it for a very long time. Well, as I am reading a daily devotional (a book that is pretty deep spiritually so I take it chapter by chapter and sometimes, passage by passage), I think I might have gotten an answer to a question I asked in June 2022.
First, let me talk about the clue I received. Each year I am spiritually led to read certain books. Sometimes it happens all at once and sometimes it happens here and there. Well, I was watching a YouTube episode of Bishop Sarah Jakes Roberts and her mom have a casual conversation over the holidays. She mentioned the book in the video and discovered her mom had read the book also. When I heard the title, I knew I needed the book. This was my first clue that healing was about to take place.
This is what I read this morning:
“Healing is a process of restoration. It is the revealing of the underlying state of perfection and wholeness that always exists, despite injury or disturbance. Beyond all your hurts and pains, be they emotional, physical, or otherwise, is your innate spiritual pattern, which proclaims its independence and simply awaits opportunities to express itself to its fullest. Healing is a journey, not an event. Along the journey there is much to be discovered and discerned about yourself.”
“You ask, “How much healing is there to be done? How long will it take?” These are questions not for me to answer but for you to answer. How long do you want it to take? How much healing are you willing to do? How deep will you go? How much will you reveal? How often will you come to be in surrender? The answers to these questions depend on you. You are creating your own tests. You are creating your won obstacle courses. The mazes through which you wander, the hoops through which you jump, are all configurations of your own thinking. You too often misunderstand, and therefore underestimate the power of your creative abilities. You must become more consciously aware that you are simply manifesting anything and everything you think about, even subliminally.”
People show emotional support for others by offering genuine encouragement, reassurance, and compassion. This might include things like verbal expressions of sympathy or physical gestures of affection.
Emotional support can come from other sources, too — religious or spiritual sources, community activities, or even your pets. Whatever form it takes, this support can improve anyone’s outlook and general wellness.
Some people have a knack for being emotionally supportive, but this skill doesn’t come naturally to everyone.
When you want to provide emotional support to someone you care about, asking a few questions is a great place to start.
“How can I support you?” can sometimes work, but it’s not always the best approach.
While good intentions lie behind questions like these, they sometimes fail to have the impact you desire.
People don’t always know what they want or need, especially in the middle of a difficult situation. So, this question can be so broad it leaves someone unsure how to reply.
Instead, try asking questions tailored to a situation or the person’s state of mind, such as:
“You seem a little upset today. Would you like to talk about it?”
“I know your boss was giving you a tough time. How have you been holding up?”
If you know someone has faced some challenges and aren’t sure how to open a conversation, try starting with some general questions, such as, “What’s been happening in your life lately?”
Try to keep your questions open-ended instead of asking questions that can be answered with a “yes” or a “no.” This invites an explanation and helps keep the discussion going.
It’s not enough to simply ask questions. Listening actively, or empathically, is another important part of providing emotional support.
When you really listen to someone, you give them your full attention. Show interest in their words by:
displaying open body language, like turning your body toward them, relaxing your face, or keeping your arms and legs uncrossed
avoiding distractions, like playing with your phone or thinking about other things you need to do
nodding along with their words or making noises of agreement instead of interrupting
asking for clarification when you don’t understand something
summarizing what they’ve said to show you have a good grasp of the situation
Using good listening skills shows others you care about what they’re going through. For someone who’s struggling, knowing that someone else has heard their pain can make a big difference.
I had a hell of a Tuesday. I had two huge financial hits. The person I was dating “ghosted” me. In retrospect, that should not have been part of the bad day. It is a blessing that he moved on! AND THAT is part of the beautiful harvest I want to speak to you about today.
My response to these things were so phenomenal, I was in disbelief. I didn’t have a melt-down. Anxiety didn’t ramp up and depression didn’t creep in. I was upset. I did briefly think, “What am I going to do about my finances? I was trying to save. God that was 75% of my SAVINGS!!!” But seemingly immediately after those feelings manifesting as thoughts popped up, they were met by a voice (thought), “It’s okay Nicole. God will take care of your financial situation. It will be replaced and built up so much more. Do not worry. More money is on the way to you. Money you will manifest, money owed to you, and money you never expected. It is okay,” I did cry. I felt terrible because part of the reason one of the expenses occurred is because I forgot about it. I shed some tears because I was in the process of building my savings back up. But when you think about it, I purchased a home this year. I had some home repair expenses. I had some car repair expenses. I took a much needed and deserved vacation.
I don’t regret any of those things. I am appreciative of the fact I had the money to do those things considering my financial standing. So, to settle my emotions I kept repeating, “It’s okay. It’s alright. Things always work out for my good.” We must remember in times like these, “I am one with the Creator. In the Creator or God, or whatever your name is for the Divine, there is no lack, shortage, or insufficiency.”
I feel as if my response to all three situations in a time span of hours was a beautiful harvest of seeds sown for years. It felt like something took root and blossomed at the same time. You may recall some of the blogs I wrote previously about intuition, clarity, and so forth. The Spirit (Holy Spirit) was guiding me all along. I heeded the voice to not put too much stock into that relationship and to hold back to SEE if things could be worked out. I needed to wait to see if our differences could merge. Obviously, they cannot. And I am okay.
This weekend was supposed to be one spent with the guy I was dating but, life had other plans. Some family came from Illinois and we went to Mississippi to visit my brother’s grave site. He transitioned this year from Covid. That was a rough moment for them and some of my other siblings. But after that, it was nothing but love, laughter, and creating memories. My dad, a retired pastor, preached an incredible sermon from St. John 14, “Another Friend”. It was indeed a anointed message. Our guests went with us to a Trunk or Treat. We had a blast. Then dinner and conversations. Visiting other family and breakfast together before they left Monday morning. WHEW.
I am tired. I really had a rough night last night with insomnia and Rheumatoid Disease pain. Yet, it was worth the pain to spend time with family. I can rest this evening.
Guess what? I had a healthy breakfast. I prayed, meditated, affirmations. My mood still hasn’t stabilized. I ate chocolate chocolate chip cookies and milk. My snack for tonight so, I can’t have that tonight again. 😩 What’s wrong Nicole? What’s the matter, Pooh Bear( family Nickname…don’t you call me this lol)? I’m frustrated. Why? Because there is too much to do, too much happening in my world and the world, I can’t keep up, and I can’t seem to get all of what I want in a man and things (people, men) keep showing up that are almost what I desire. I’m sure I have somethingto do with all of this. Plus, another trip coming up and while I’m cool with going as the fabulous third wheel, would be nice…(stares in singlehood). Listens. 1. Take him or leave him, you’re going to have a wonderful time.
2. You don’t have to accept who shows up, remember? And if you choose “almost” you’ll “almost” be satisfied. Plus, I’ve given you several signs that this is not the time for a relationship. Remember? Either relax and enjoy the company or enjoy your own company. Breathe deep.
3. Yes. You have something to do with most of this but, not all of this. You have nothing to do with the events you have no control over like Afghanistan and the passing of your godmother. Your part, to pray, was and is done perfectly.
4. You can organize. You have lacked discipline. It’s true. You have procrastinated. It’s true. Why? You have been ill. You have not wanted the responsibility of some things. You haven’t enjoyed a particular environment. You haven’t done the ONE major life thing because of fear and THIS is what is clouding your mind. If you want clarity to come easily, DO THAT FEARFUL THING.
5. Make no commitment to any man right now. I repeat, it is not time for a relationship. It is time for your soul’s purpose.
6. Take one step. I’ll take two. Move towards destiny and I’ll create waves of manifestations. We are a team.
I shall be with you always. Even until the ends of the earth.
~Nikki
PS: Stop saying yes out of obligation to things that I’ve disconnected you from. Stop inserting your help where you have not been lead to help. You cannot help everyone or every cause. You can’t sign up for every thing and then say you don’t have time for your own soul purpose, dreams, goals, duties. That’s fear. Explore that fear of success. You can’t want and not want success. Love, Spirit. 💋
Yesterday (Wednesday), I had a yellow plate, eggs, and lemon cream yogurt chosen without thinking. I said to myself, once I noticed, I must be eating for the solar plexus. For my fellow Christians, it’s the place where we say “I felt that in my belly!” or the place where you get “butterflies”. Little did I know I would have to assert myself today. It’s the place of personality, ego, and identity, as well as personal freedom, choice, and authenticity. You see God and I have this language, when I say, “God, let them do this or let xyz happen and I am going to say what I really think or want to say.” I can tell you that 99% of the time, God doesn’t let it happen. On the rare occasions that it does, I have learned to say what I need to say tempered (controlled) and direct. Most times. Today, I had to assert my personality, my ego, my identity, my personal freedom, my choice and my authenticity in DIVINE ORDER to one that is considered a leader in ministry. This toxic masculinity in Christianity must go and will go.
There is something to be said, that I won’t say, about people that only have something to say when they disagree with what you say or have something to say behind what you say when you are a woman in ministry. For one, there is something wrong within when one has a argumentative spirit. A critic spirit. A spirit that seeks out an opportunity to argue or to show off their knowledge (puffed up is how the Bible refers to them). There is an ill skill to the manipulation of another person’s words and to use your knowledge in such a way to dominate a conversation in such a spirit of negative ego. It’s the equivalent of over talking or yelling and feeling like you have “won” when there was nothing to win. The Bible speaks about adding and taking away from the Word. I don’t like it when people add or take away from what I say. Furthermore, I don’t like it when people tell me what I meant by what I said. ASK for CLARIFICATION before you ASSume. 🙂 I also don’t need a male counterpart to “second guess” or to explain what I say or my ideas or my philosophy. I’ve seen it over and over and again on social media. A male minister/pastor says something outside of the box, either other male ministers celebrate or approach with reverence for further clarification. WOMEN in ministry do the same and they come like a brood of vipers.
This “I know more than you” or this need to assert authority in places it does not belong has been something that has “irked” me from the beginning of my journey as one considered a woman in ministry. This need to control or monitor women is so unlike the God and Christ I am associated with. It is toxic. I was not created to be your personal assistant, maid servant or child. I was created to create. I was created with the intellect, too. I was created with a purpose, too. I receive dreams and visions, too. I know how to research, search, go to school and the same education you get, too. I think Jesus, in my religion, leveled the field. I’d appreciate it if some of the men in ministry would come off their high horses (pride comes before a great fall) and into the field. The harvest is plentiful but, the laborers are few.
When you are healing or getting over a situation there is a middle ground. A gray space. A partly cloudy with a chance of rain. In this rarely talked about space, you can see sunshine and then clouds. You can see a beautiful sunrise and sunset and then out of seemingly nowhere, heavy rain. Here is the comfort: You are almost there. You are almost to the closing up of the wound. You are almost to the healing phase. You just have to rest and keep moving.
In this middle ground, this gap, do you know what you need? You sincere, specific, meaningful prayer, meditation, and affirmations. Stand in the gap of this moment. This where you go in deep. This where you stand in the corner and pray. This where you lay prostrate and wail if need be. This is where you lose your self in the silence of meditation.
This is also where good flows in. The sunshine, the sunrises, and the sunsets. This where light comes into the cracks. You get ah ha moments, deep revelations, vivid visions, and waves of goodness. It’s where nature speaks and heals. It’s where messages come from the strangest places and things. Embrace it with your whole mind and heart.
May the Lord (the Law) bless you. May the Lord (the Law) keep you. May the Lord (the Law) make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you. May the Lord (the Law), lift up His countenance upon you and give you peace. The Bible, Numbers 6:24-26
I know we are 16 days into May but, this may help you to make it through the rest of the month. There is nothing like understanding the “season” we are in or the signs of the times. Why? Some may say. Well, it’s because knowledge is power and you can govern your actions and responses accordingly.
The “energy of May” brings us independence, confidence, and new beginnings through the number 1. Biblically, it represents God. God is self sufficient, needing nothing to do what needs to be done except energy. We, being like gods in the earth, are self sufficient. We need nothing but energy to thrive. It’s the whole “We lack nothing. Everything we need to succeed is within” thingy. 1 is motivating. 1 is the number of the pioneer. It’s time to break new ground. Take a different path. Start a new project. Do something you have not done before. That type of energy is in the air.
This is not the time for drama, chaos, or confusion. If this is anywhere near you, get away from it. Shut it down and do not be pulled into conflict. You do not have time for it. The 1 energy is focused! It is ready to take control of it’s future. It’s ready to create or to embrace new beginnings.
The 1 energy is confident and independent. It will not wait for the approval of others. In fact, it is not concerned about who is for it or against it. The 1 energy will ride alone. 1 has a plan and is ready to execute it. If it fails, it learns. If it succeed, it learns. This it the mindset of the 1 energy.
Goals are being achieved with this energy. Advances are being made. It is self motivated and has self determination. There are no excuses and innovation is used to overcome obstacles.
What’s your passion? What’s your purpose? Begin the great work! You’ve written the vision, you’ve made it plain, and now it’s time to take action. Do your part and let the CREATOR take care of the logistics. A positive attitude and optimism is required in this season. Total faith and trust in yourself and in God, the Creator, the Universe, or whatever you call the Higher Power is how you move in this season.
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Nikki's Confetti Life 