Sunday Morning Coffee Musings: Am I Seeking Validation or Honor?

Neither. I am seeking neither. Have you ever put in hard work and watched another person claim the results or receive the praise? You know the teamlead that doesn’t pull their load but, is given accolades by the boss. Or maybe it’s the partner who takes credit for well behaved children when they are not the ones that disciplines or corrects the child. They are the “fun” parent. I am all for being in the background when that is where I am supposed to be. And even those in the background make what you see possible and they do deserve thanks.

But, what really burns me up is when I have done real work, real toil, real labor and it has taken a toll on me and someone else is being thanked, pittied, and praised. It wasn’t all them. I wasn’t on the side. It was more me and them on the side. But, a narcissist, a sociopath, or a person who loves the limelight, will always want to be the center of attention. It’s not about the truth for them. It’s how they want to be seen or how they don’t want to be seen. In this case, as my father said repeatedly, “always the martyr”.

I know, I can hear the good Christian people saying, well, God knows. Well, that’s wonderful. It is. But what’s wrong with the world knowing the truth? What’s wrong with those who do the heavy lfiting wanting to be ACKNOWLEDGED? It’s not validation. It’s not honor. It’s being acknowledged for all that you did or have done in a particular situation. Especially, one that took a toll on you in every kind of way. You didn’t do it to be seen. You didn’t do it for the pitty or the praise. You did it because it had to be done and no one else was going to do it or could do it or would do it. It’s as if your sacrifices meant nothing. Oh, they meant something to the one you sacrificed for. They meant everything to them and to God. So why does it matter if others know the truth? I am saying you but I am talking about myself here.

It matters because it’s right!

I wouldn’t down play your part to be the hero.

It matters because I wouldn’t take credit for something I didn’t do.

In my world of writing and being an author, we call that plagiarism. I have resolved that it is indeed good enough that I know, my dad knows, God knows, my therapist, my daughter, and the few who are close to me, know the truth. Sometimes, I want to exclaim, “They did no such thing!” If only others knew the truth-I guess they would be set free from ignorance.

~Nikki