God Doesn’t Love You Any Less


My father is a Pastor and we have different perspectives and beliefs about God. Ever since I was a child, I have always had questions, saw things different than my religion. No, it was not a demon lol or spirit of rebellion (or at least not on that level). My father didn’t do anything wrong. He laid the foundation. Do you think my father loves me any less? No. Do you think my father didn’t take care of me, provide, give me more than I asked for? No. Did he not discipline me or give me fatherly advice? Did he ban me from his home and heart? No. I can’t speak for you, but the God I have a relationship with doesn’t love me any less, bless me any less, offer me any less, just because I don’t see things the way others see things. This I am certain of.


Sunday Morning Coffee Musing: A Healing of Mind Ponder & Finances


I know how much things can affect the mind. Your health, your relationships, jobs, school, and your finances. These things have literally driven people over the edge and if not to that extreme, these things have cause a great deal of stress for many. It creates a terrible environment but, it also creates chaos within.

So, as I sat to write this I asked, “Can the mind be healed? Maybe when my finances are healed then will I have a peace of mind.” But, I heard the Spirit speak and say: “In order for the mind to be healed, the soul must be repaired. And, your finances being heal will bring you a “piece” of the peace of mind. But, you can have a peace of mind right now with soul work.”

I’ve done soul work in many areas. I did not think that finances were connected to soul work. Yes, I know that our spending and saving habits can be traced back to how our parents spent and save their money. But, I also know that we can “unlearn” these habits and replace them with better habits. Still, how does money and soul work belong together?

A lack of finances, a huge debt, creates worry. Worry creates illnesses, bad moods, foul environments and strained relationships. Worrying does not add to our life but, takes away from our lives. It takes away “life” from our life. We miss everything else around us. At first we worry about what we will do. Then we worry about what will happen. Then we worry about it as we are working on saving and paying down debt because many times it leaves us with very little to work with and that creates stress. Here is where the soul is damaged. Worry is like a cancer it just eats up the good and the bad. It gnaws away on something until it’s gone. Boom…peace of mind gone. You get it back and then bam! It’s gone again.

The soul is being overpowered about what is happening in the natural world and we forget or severe ourselves from our Source. It doesn’t matter to me what you call the Source or Creator or God. We forget God is with us EVEN as we correct our financial situations. God is with us the moment we realize we are in trouble. God is with us when we look at the financial books and realize we don’t have enough to do anything after paying on our debts. The reason we get so upset about not having is because we know we are suppose to be able to live in abundance. And let me say, your abundance could be millions and my abundance could be $30,000 a year.  It’s all about how we work it.

Something in us knows we were not created to barely make it. Yet, how do we have peace when we are barely getting by or in the process of improvement? We take a break. What? We take a break. On a job, they give you breaks. What you do on those breaks are up to you.

Soul work: On your morning break, your lunch break, evening/night time break, pray or meditate, read about financial empowerment, affirmations and scriptures as you are in the process of creating your abundance on this financial level. (I say that because we do know that being in peace (mind) and having good health is also a part of abundance). Scriptures or affirmations that speak on worry/anxiety or finances and abundance, knowing that the Creator is there and will see you through the process is a powerful elixir for the mind as well as the healing agent for the soul. Reading books or taking a course or seeking help to repair your finances are all empowering but, staying connected to the Divine throughout this process keeps your mind on the track of peace. This is the soul work map for me and I hope that it helps you to. Abundance is come and will come.



Prayer, the City, and Nature


Yesterday,  I prayed. I sat outside on a unseasonably warm winter day and I prayed without words. I heard cars driving by, large trucks making loud noises, a motorcycle taking off down the street. I leaned back in my deck chair and kept my eyes on the blue sky and wispy clouds moving above. I heard car doors slamming, people talking loudly on their phones, and shouting loudly across the way. I watch the birds fly high, chirping amongst each other in the swaying trees. I saw man made birds taking people to their destination. I felt the cool breeze blow and felt the warmth of the sun on my face. Sometimes I closed my eyes, but most of the time they were open.

Communing with God, I always escaped to a quiet place. I like it better. I am learning to pray in places I cannot escape so easily physically, pray in the space of chaos. Pray in the space of noise. Hear the noise and mentally turn it down by using your senses. Bring your focus back to nature…back to me (God within). Listen, speak or not, or just be. I felt peaceful. I believe God was teaching me a very valuable lesson. We often think we can pray anywhere. We often think prayer is asking, words, thanking, etc. We hardly think it’s just listening or meditating. We only think of prayer and meditation in limited ways. I believe God wants to expand my mind and thoughts in prayer.

My body has RA, Fibromyalgia, and Osteoarthritis. I experience noise and chaos in my body. Something’s  hurting, something’s achy, anxiety, depression, frustrations, etc and that is the door slamming, a large truck beeping, loud conversations, honking horns, jets overhead….that is noise! Chaos. The city in my body. But I can still use my senses to turn on peace, to focus. Getting to calm so I can commune. I need these things to do what I was sent here to do.



It’s Not Fair, but Focus


Today I went to a funeral of a budding friendship. I say budding because it seems as if we were just getting started. A supporter in my novel adventures and an encourager. She gave the best hugs. She had a smile that lit up the room. As soon as I saw her or she walked into a room, I could be at ease knowing a friendly was among me.

I had yet to really cry until today. I got up, got ready, but all week I was thinking, “This is going to be hard. I will have to do a hard thing Saturday.” I really wanted to know “Why? But why?” were my first thoughts. Then I thought “This is so unfair.” This morning as I had my coffee, God spoke to me and I received confirmation at the funeral via the preacher. God said “Nicole, even if I were to explain it to you, you wouldn’t be able to receive it right now because you have deemed it unfair. Is there anything I could say to you that would make it fair? Of course not. And I understand that you feel it is unfair. It is okay to feel that way.” Now, let me pause, because the relationship I have with my God, may not be like yours. I always ask questions. I’ve been asking since I was a child. I am glad I have a Father that decided it was okay for us to “Come and reason together.” And sometimes that reasoning ends in a “You wouldn’t understand. Just trust me in this place that you are in.” And that place happen to be a place of feeling this death was unfair.I’ve had to trust God in a lot of places. Unfair, is not an unfamiliar place.

So, as God continued to speak, “Trust me in this feeling of “unfairness” and in time, we will talk about it. But, try to focus on how this can work for your good. Yes, how can this life that touched your life, work for your good. What purpose, does this death serve for your enlightenment.” I got dressed and I thought to myself, “I will try. I will try to focus.” After the funeral and confirmation that God was speaking to me, as I know he was, a few things happened when we were dismissed to proceed to the burial. I walked to the car in disbelief and then just like a lightbulb moment…”Life is too short for me to surround myself with people who don’t like me, love me, or care about me. It’s too short to subject my heart to negative vibes and energy. It’s too short to sacrifice my feelings just to see the few who are genuine. I will have to see them in different places and spaces where the love can flow without restriction. It is, what it is. What “it is” is freedom. What “it is” is peace. And that is what is “unfair”….to subject your heart to tainted environments. It’s no different than staying in a bad relationship. If folks don’t want you or like you, stay out of there face and space.”

And what I learned is that however unfair I feel about this death, I can see that this person was a light for me in rough territory. At that time, I sure did need all the light, all the smiling faces, all the conversation, all the good energy I could get just to “hang” for a while.