I’m not big on heartbreaking, sad songs. I have a few that I like. It’s funny I say that because this is a gospel song and when I hear it, it makes me so sad because it takes me back to one of the most fearful times in my life. Single motherhood. In fact, I can hardly listen to the song in its entirety. I usually turn it off when I hear it. It evokes that much emotion within me.

We know about the double standards in the world when it comes to men and women. But we do we know about the double standards when it comes to single mothers and single fathers? What about single mothers of other races and cultures and how one is looked upon as, poor mother and the other is looked upon as “you should be ashamed of yourself!”. And let us not ever forget religion’s role in outcasting single mothers and celebrating and promoting single fathers and some of multiple mothers. So much I could dive into but, I digress. Here is the song.

Alone in a room, it’s just me and you
I feel so lost ’cause I don’t know what to do
Now what if choose the wrong thing to do
I’m so afraid, afraid of disappointing you

So, I need to talk to you
And ask you for your guidance
Especially today
When my life is so cloudy
Guide me until I’m sure
I open up my heart
Ooh, yeah

My hopes and dreams are fading fast
I’m all burned out
And I don’t think my strengths gonna last
So, I’m crying out, crying out to you
Lord, I know that You’re the only One
Who is able to pull me through

So, I need to talk to You
And ask you for Your guidance
Especially today
When my life is so cloudy
Lord, guide me until I’m sure
I open up my heart
Oh, yeah, yes, I do

So show me how to do things Your way
Don’t let me make the same mistakes
Over and over again
Your will be done and I’ll be the one
To make sure that it’s carried out
And in me, I don’t want any doubt
That’s why

I wanna talk to you
And ask you for Your guidance
Especially today
When my life is a little bit cloudy
Lord, You can guide me through
That’s why I open up, I open up my heart, my heart, my heart, my heart (open up my heart)

~Nikki