A man’s world isn’t all glitz, guts, and glory either. In a man’s world, if you are ever so privy to be let in, it’s much like the emotions of women except it’s internalized and kept hidden behind smiles, humor, apathy, anger and pain. I’ve had the pleasure of having four brothers and each one of them are different. They handle things differently and some things they respond to like anyone else would. Men aren’t emotional aliens contrary to popular belief (ha!).

Men often don’t get the chance to say, “Wow, that really hurt me.” They don’t often get to say, “I don’t want to be with you. I want out of this.” Sometimes it’s because society or religion expects them to stay in relationships and marriages they don’t want to be in. They, too, are expected to stay because of the children or choose to stay because of the children.

Men, too, want to move and change careers but some of them can’t because they don’t want to leave their children if they are divorced or are single parents. So, they choose to stay in a city to be close to their children. Some of them can’t leave because they are the custodial parents and they have a great network where they are living. Uprooting from that network would not work for them. So, they also forgo moving for better opportunities. They, too, put off going back to school and changing careers.

You may read this and say, so what?! Men should just deal and cope like women and everyone else. None of us should just DEAL and JUST COPE. We all should be able to process, express ourselves, and not be deemed WEAK. Men have a right to be human beings, too. They should feel safe enough to open up to someone without that person judging them. We all should. We all can’t. I think men and women should learn how to handle, respect, DEAL and COPE with men who are willing to say what they feel and how they think when they are being vulnerable. Yes, it may be strange. You may be startled by his tears, his emotions, his thoughts. But you should remember, he is a human being and we all should be able to express ourselves, in our own way without having to stifle it.

I know it may be odd as a woman when a man cries or have what we deem as emotions only okay for women to have. But as women, we can’t have it both ways. Do you want him to express himself or not? Do you want vulnerability or the truth about how he feels or not? Especially, if it’s not what you want to hear. You don’t get to choose HOW a person expresses themselves when they are being vulnerable. Of course, we are talking about constructive, authentic, with words and expressions and not destructive.

~Nikki