Sunday Morning Coffee Musings: Contentment? Could That Be It?

I don’t know what I am feeling right now or yesterday. This week I was given fresh squeezed lemonade from Heaven, lemons, and a rock. I say the lemonade was spiritual. Cool, calming, refreshing revelations about myself, life, this July sabbatical I am on. I received some lemons that I struggled to make lemonade with and the rest I used for a dash of flavor. Maybe I made lemon pies instead. But the rock I was given was really unexpected. A cousin whom I love and adore suddenly passed away from heat exhaustion. It took me a few days to cry.

But I just didn’t cry about his passing, I cried about many things in that cry. It was cleansing. It was holy, if i can say that. After all of that, I decided to POUR INTO ME this weekend. I decided to do some self care and self love type of things with a side of house “maintenance” and simple house chores. I mostly focused on my self care like taking the time to do a luxurious pedicure. It is difficult for me to do my own nails because of Rheumatoid but, this weekend I did. I did it the way I use to do it B.R. (Before Rheumatoid). I listened to a podcast that poured into me financial wisdom and another one about scriptwriting. I determined scriptwriting to be a tool for what Christians call “writing the vision and making it plain”. I feel the same way about a vision board or inspiration board.

I did some other things that I felt POURED INTO ME like listening to a sermon live this morning. I did yoga for emotional release Friday and today and it was very powerful experience in which one brought me to tears. The notes I have from those session are cherishable because I feel they were given to me by my spirit and the Holy One. I felt so much peace Friday and something else I couldn’t put into words. I did not expect that indescribable feeling to carry over to Saturday and today. I think it can be best described as contentment.

A state of happiness and satisfaction is what I feel at the moment. I noticed it Friday after I had a good cry. I was not expecting it carry over into Saturday or today. On the blog, A Well Watered Woman, it states contentment as “an inward trust in God’s sovereignty and goodness that produces the fruit of joy and peace and thanksgiving in the life of a believer, regardless of outward circumstances.” I feel that, too. I also feel another definition of what Paul, ( an apostle and disciple in the Bible) states, “Not that I speak in respect to want, for I have learned in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content”. Well, maybe I don’t feel this 100% but perhaps, I am learning. Perhaps I am learning to be content in whatever state I am in knowing that I can depend and trust my God, my Creator, my Divine, to see me through to a better state of being.

Yes, I understand being content to some means not wanting more things. But that does not mean not wanting more out of life or that more is not available to you. The wonderful thing about life is I don’t get to decide your contentment level and you don’t get to decide mine.

Yet, being content in the moment, in the season I am in is where I think I am headed. A sort of simple overall contentment of life in general as I continue to improve my life and my situation. Content, as I continue my soul’s mission. Wow……I have not felt this kind of contentment before. It feels mature.

~Nikki