You’ve heard of work husbands and wives, work baes (babes) etc. But have you ever heard of a “Work Dad or Mom?” Maybe they are like big sisters or brothers. They are like aunts and uncles. In my community and culture, we relate to people not biologically related to us in these terms because one, it’s a village thing and two, they may “put us in mind of” (southern language) or remind of us someone we know. Perhaps the way they carry themselves or the energy they bring reminds us of an aunt or dad. They probably are someone’s parents or sibling. It’s a level of respect we have for elders or mentors so to speak, that takes a “liking” to us or we to them.

I was a young, know it all, naive, lost, 20 something year old when I came to a job where we repaired laptops. There was this friendly older man walking around and everyone seemed to know him. If you didn’t know him you were about to meet him. Mr. Frank had been there before you and if not, you respected him as if he had been! He was friendly, funny, and had a loud, boisterous laugh. He was spiritual and “real”. Every woman was “baby girl” if he couldn’t remember your name. This was before the time most women were offended by terms like this. Mr. Frank and I became friends like most people that had conversations with him regularly.

He was encouraging. He always had a word. He always inspired me to choose the higher road and when I didn’t, he was there with a “gentle but stern” rebuke or a “reasoning” of rationale. He understood because sometime he lost his temper, too! Yet, he would always come back and apologize to the floor (where we worked). He had spiritual advice and real-life stories. He had funny, crazy, wild stories about his own life. He would drop nuggets and gems of wisdom.

He was there when I became a minister. He came to hear my first sermon. He was there when I was pregnant. He was there when the drama was going on with my daughter’s father and I. He was there when I was going through financial difficulties and would slide me a $20 bill and more from time to time “for the baby” because he knew I would refuse. I was on that job almost 13 years and so many times I would say, “Mr. Frank was right about that guy or that situation.” You know how surprised you are that your parents are right? As if they haven’t lived a whole life before you and acquired some experience and knowledge.

One day, I walked up to Mr. Frank and said to him, “You know what Mr. Frank? The things I thought were important are not and the things I thought were not important are important. I don’t know much of anything!” And he looked at me with a big grin on his face and said, “Welcome to adulthood “baby girl”! You’re growing up!” And laughed that loud, boisterous laugh that filled the warehouse.

~Nikki