You might think you’re helping someone by telling them how to fix a problem. But, generally speaking, people don’t want advice unless they request it.
Even when you know you have the right solution, don’t offer it unless they specifically ask something like, “What do you think I should do?” or “Do you know of anything that might help?”
If they’ve moved from “venting” to “talking through the problem,” a better approach often involves using reflective questions to help them find solutions on their own.
You might, for example, say something like:
- “Have you been in a situation like this before? What helped then?”
- “Can you think of any specific changes that might help you feel better?”
I know you know everything or maybe you know exactly what to do BUT, SKIP THE ADVICE UNLESS YOU ARE ASKED!