I feel. I have tried not to feel or to be as “feeling” as others wanted me to be. I was told I was too emotional. I have tried to shut down my feelings. Pretend I don’t have any feelings. I have tried to emulate others who are TOUGH because you are TOUGH if you don’t feel or show any emotions…RIGHT? You are weak if you do. RIGHT?
I won’t answer those questions. They are thoughts fed to you as facts by others. You can answer them for yourself. God created me to feel. God told me so. I was created to have a heart for the people. I couldn’t be a writer or as nearly creative if I didn’t feel. I couldn’t rush to the side of the underdog if I couldn’t feel. I was not created to pretend to be something I am not.
The insight given to me in questioning God as to why I was made like this was this:
“I created you in my image. I feel. I feel more than you feel believe it. However, you are in a place where you can’t take on everyone’s battle. There are lessons for them to learn. I created you emotional. Your lessons with your emotions or feelings is to learn to MANAGE them not to get rid of them. How to care but not so much it drowns you. The lessons for the super tough “I don’t feel nothing” is to learn to feel and open up. Be who I create YOU to be and be proud that you are a person that FEELS openly and honestly.”
Once I got that eye opening insight I am learning to MANAGE my feelings. I am also no longer trying not to be emotional. I am who I am. Ya’ FEEL ME?