I knew it was coming and there is more to come of days where I can not have the responsibility of others or simply time to replenish. I needed a day and today is the day where I am allowing my cup to be filled and where I am filling my own cup as well. My cup is empty. And upon further examination my cup has a small leak. On last week, people and things have required big gulps of what was in my cup. And maybe, it has been happening for months and now I am down to nothing. I have nothing more to give anyone.
And this small leak? I don’t know how to repair it. I don’t have the tools to fix it. I noticed I needed a pause yesterday as my attitude and response to a person was bordering an emotional outburst and rant. I was so close to blowing a fuse and I keep coming close! This takes a toll on the body, the mind, and spirit. My spirit is low. My body is tired. I can’t think straight. It is time to pause today and in two more weeks I will be able to rest for a month and a few weeks. Well, at least from my hobby that produces some income. But I need a deeper rest. I don’t know what that will look like in the next month and few weeks. I only know I need it and I hope the small leak in my cup will be repaired in that time.
~Nikki
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