I’m currently not dating but I remain friends with a guy I was in a long term, on and off again, nothing with. We remain friends because we are good at being friends. Lately, after all of this time, I’ve noticed things about him that I NOW see would have irritated the hell out of me if we were together. I believe God has been showing me things as well. So much so, at first I was like, “Ok God. I see it. I get it. You can stop now but, I can’t really tell you what to do.”

I used to always wonder why we couldn’t work. I mean, I knew a few of the major reasons but, I see there was more to it. There have been several situations and events that have occurred revealing to me things like “this is what you would be dealing with” or “do you see how he responds” and it’s been more of what I already knew as well. It’s like on every turn there is more of something I didn’t see or more of something I already know. It’s almost TOO MUCH. I can pretend I don’t see it or I can LOOK DIRECTLY AT THE TRUTH. I don’t know how to say it eloquently but it’s as if God (for me) is answering a question I asked a long time ago. It’s like God is putting it in my face. I can’t turn away. At least, that is what I thought.

The more I sit with things I realize now more than ever God knew what was ahead. I sensed I wouldn’t be happy for various reason but God knew I wouldn’t be happy for many more reasons. God isn’t showing me anything that wasn’t already there. I am able to SEE it all because I am so removed from this person romantically I no longer have a desire for a relationship other than friendship. When situations happen, I hear, “See. See what is happening. How would you have felt? How would you have dealt with it?” I’ve decided to SEE IT. SEE IT ALL as it comes. The more I SEE the more grateful I am that it didn’t work out. I feel so relieved.

December Destination: The truth shall set you free. I like this type of “free” (freedom).

~Nikki