Before the relationship, you were determined not to fall for the “okie doke” again. You knew exactly what you were going to deal with and what you were not. You were vigilant about your values and you held your morals in high regard. Maybe you were routinely tending to your spiritual needs: meditation, reading or attending regularly a spiritual institution. You were focused on your goals and what really mattered. Suddenly you meet someone and now you are either barely holding on to what you built up while single or have completely abandoned all that you built. What happened?
I’d like to describe it as the watering down of you. Whiskey is strong because of the proof of alcohol in it. If you add water to a glass of it, it’s only as strong as the ratio of water added. So imagine it’s 70% water and 30% whiskey. A person that enters your life and is able to sway you away from what you have built or are building, to the point where it’s affecting your foundation: your thinking, your judgement, your sound mind and reasoning, your money, your peace, your priorities, is a person that is watering you down. You’ll be back to a breakdown in no time. Especially, if they are a good distraction.
Let me be frank, sex and gifts are an illusion. Sex and gifts, mixed with good game (lies, smooth talking, con artist language) will have you in a daze. Dazes don’t last long. When you come to, you just might find yourself in a hog pin doing laps in the mud when you thought you were doing laps in the pool.
An addition to your life is just that, an addition. The person knows how to add value and deepen morals. The person knows how to add water to the garden of your life and add some more flowers…you know, some things growing in a garden look green but they are really weeds! Too much water will kill the garden.
Don’t let your feelings overtake your head until you find yourself weak in your convictions of who you are, what you stand for, and who/what’s important to you.
~Nikki
Oh geez, I know how this feels! I think being strong from the outset about what you want and what you will stand for is the key to not watering yourself down.
I agree!
I love the image of dilution – great metaphor.