Seems like I have been doing quite a bit of wondering lately. Wondering about my life, my family dynamics, my faith, my next step and some reflections of this year and sometimes I step back into the past. The past can be nostalgic or painful depending on where my wondering takes me.

The self care routine and soul maintenance has been something that has been violated lately by family members that can’t seem to get their “stuff” together and these are family members that are extremely close to me. Do you ever or have you ever in your life felt like, “What the hell is happening in my life right now?” I once heard a person say, “What in the fresh hell is going on???” and this is how I often feel. My life is bombarded at times with demands, requests, and their drama. It takes it toll. It’s taxing.

Today I was in a pain, in fibromyalgia flare but no one asked me how I was doing or how I was feeling before they unloaded, brought the drama, the trauma, and interrupted my day. They had already disturbed my peace for several weeks now. I would like just one WEEK of peace. If not, I am going to implode and explode. I think I will have to restructure and implement some new rules, regulations, and boundaries. In fact, I will demand a week of peace. I will command it. After a week of peace, I will have to take charge of some affairs for these people in order to make my life less chaotic. And at this point, I really don’t care who likes it or not.

I need my REST. I need RESToration. And this means uninterrupted time and phone calls that are not filled with stress, distress, conflict, hell and drama.

~Nikki