Calm.com listed several reasons confidence is important. Out of those 7 reasons, 2 appealed to me (I would like for you to read or skim the article and tell me which ones appealed to you). The two that appealed to me were; better decision making and less fear and anxiety.

The article also lists 7 signs of a confident person, 7 signs your confidence might need a boost, and 13 tips to build self confidence. One of those were “speak positive to yourself.” It took me one month to convince myself that I could read a document I printed because what it surrounded brought up anxiety for me. It took me back to a very, very, very stressful time in my life. It took me almost another month to convince myself I could give the document to my doctor who has been known not to like feeling out paperwork for certain things. The paper work has now been in my glove compartment for two days. Today, I take it to the doctor’s office.

I mentioned this as an extreme scenario for some but, relatable to those who may have anxiety. I also wanted to share with you the fact I had to speak kindly to myself during the entire process. “This is stupid. Other people can do this. It’s taking so long for me to do this because I am anxious and I feel so weak for not being able to JUST DO THIS.” No, that’s not the speaking to myself kindly part lol. At least, I didn’t say “I am stupid” or “I am weak” which has taken me years to correct. This document is not time sensitive. Thank God. But here is what I said to myself:

I can do this. I can do this in steps. I can print it. I can read it in a few days. I read it and when I discovered my doctor would need to fill some of it out…I panicked for about a week.

I can send an email and ask if he would look at it. I can handle the response from the email. I can handle the response from the email. I can handle it if he does not fill it out. God will provide another way.

I am still afraid to take it to the office. I don’t want him to read it and reject it. I don’t want to be rejected. God will provide. What’s the next step that feels okay for you, Nicole? Put it in my glove compartment and give myself two days to build up confidence. You put a sticky note on it and with your info and you walk in there like you don’t have a concern in the world! Because you do not! It’s yes or no and you can, and you will handle a no if that be the case. God will help you to handle the no. God will provide.

Confidence in things we naturally can do well isn’t usually a problem until we start comparing ourselves and judging ourselves by other people’s standards. I know I can write. I know I can paint. I know I can crochet. I know I can style fashion and decorate my home. But if I start comparing….

It took confidence building for me to speak publically. It took confidence building for me to start this blog. It took confidence for me to become a vendor with my crocheted items and chocolate covered berries. And part of that was the way I talked to myself. There we so many “Yes you cans” before I could or did.

Yes, you can. Maybe not today but maybe tomorrow. Yes, you can. Yes, I can knocks down the fear and anxiety for me. Sometimes it chips at it until a chunk falls off. Sometimes it poverizes it.

Affirmation: Yes, I can. Yes, I can!

https://www.calm.com/blog/how-to-gain-confidence

~Nikki